The true way of handling shit tests.



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PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:55 pm 
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Anything can sound convincing when it's really far from the fact. I notice all of these stupid ways of dealing with shit tests such as agreeing, being sarcastic, exaggerating, etc. There are only two types of shit tests. Serious and non-serious. The easiest ones to handle are the non-serious types. With these, you just simply ignore with a sly smile. That's it. "Are you gay?" Now tell me why you would ever want to respond with, "No, but my boyfriend is." Yes, the tone of the response is correct meaning that you're making a joke out of it but this has to be done within you. You see, when you don't take something seriously, you don't NEED to say something to prove that. You just smile and move on with your life. Responding with smartass, witty comebacks comes with the risk of breaking rapport. Everyone on here is constantly mentioning James Bond. If a girl called James Bond gay, would really respond with, "No, but my boyfriend is."? ...or would he give a sly smirk and move closer to her. Other examples are, "You're skinny!" "You're short!" "Your face looks funny." These are non-serious, drama-related shit tests. Best way to diffuse drama is to ignore it.

Now onto the serious type of shit tests. These actually come out as a result of ASD or insecurity. Your job as a man is to RESPOND to these shit tests to offer her security. The girl asks if you are a player. You say, "Yeah I got an Xbox." Or you simply agree and say, "Yes I am, I play everybody." She may find it funny or repulsive but deep inside, she knows you didn't offer her any security. You aren't genuine. So if a girl were to ask you if you're a player, the best answer would be something like, "No I'm not, I just talk to a lot of girls until I find the right one." Say it without cracking a smile. If for some reason she says, "Yeah right" then you can reply with, "I was just being honest, but you can believe whatever you want." And THEN use your body language to show disinterest in her such as turning around or getting distracted. THAT is not being phased, THAT is being a real man. With these types of tests, honesty and humble are the way to go.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 9:36 pm 
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Sounds good, thanks!


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 9:44 am 
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I like this post, it is cool to see you are finding your own way, while I don't doubt this way works for you, to pass a congruence test (aka shit test) all you have to do is simply remain congruent, there is no specific magical way to pass them besides remaining congruent, as soon as you put a label on one certain way, you will encourage others to do things that may be incongruent for them, even if the way you specificly use is absolutely congruent for you

what your post suggests is what is congruent for you, it's great for a calm serious guy, a guy who is high energy with a clown type vibe, who handles tests in an incongruent calm seductive demenor will actually fail those ''shit tests'' by all of a sudden breaking his frame by getting serious, it is about maintaining congruence to your own behavior that you have set out

if it is your personality to be rude, constantly tooling and breaking rapport on a girl with sarcastic humour and frequently using hyperbole in your language while being aloof and offering no form of investment, and the girl was attracted to that, then all of a sudden she throws out the, YOU'RE A PLAYER AREN'T YOU? and you start investing in her and getting serious after, this totally contradicts your previous behavior, this is an incongruence to that frame you were holding, it makes you look fake, as if you were putting on an act the whole time and crumbled at her feet when tested

the whole idea is remain as you are, and when tested don't react to the test and start being different, remain constant in your behavior, be congruent with it, anything that does not suite your frame, ignore/dis-reguard/re-frame

if a girl says are you a player, and you know you are not and are certain of this, and the frame behind your answer completely reflects this, you will congruently come off as not a player, however if deep down you doubt this frame and you know you are a player and are trying to play it off otherwise without being certain of what you are doing, you will react and she will sense the incongruence behind what you are doing, you can answer yes, no, maybe so, or just ignore it, pretty irrelivant as long as you are congruent with the frame you present, if you are not a joker, then don't joke, if you are a joker, then joke, if you are a rude person, be rude, if you are a polite person, be polite

the point is if a girl says, are you a player? and in your mind you are unsure, and you have even that moment of self doubt and she can see that hesitation and uncertainty as you react to her... shit test failed

but as long as you are certain of what you are saying/doing, you will hold congruence to that, there is no need to be anything you are not, doing so will have you attract women that are not attracted to you, and when they find incongruence, they will lose interest

also everyone has to find their own identity, certain girls are attracted to certain behaviors, it's up to each individual to go out and field test everything he can and come at everything from different angles until he finds himself, often once you get comfortable you will find you like a certain neiche of girls that tend to have the same traits, it is usually said that opposites attract, but it is my belief that commonalities attract, there's no point in trying to get every girl to like you, it's a giant waste of time an energy, it's way easier to just find the girls you like that fall in with your frame (once you are sure of who you are)


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 12:06 pm 
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What pumpington said.

It works for you but it wouldnt work for me since I love verbal duels with humor. It would break my frame. However, if someone tells me that Im short I tell them "And youre a fireman, so where does that leave us?" Its a nonsense reply to a nonsense comment.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 1:19 pm 
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The way to handle shit test should be vary from person to person depending on their personality. You can't tell a high energy and silver tongue guy to answering shit test with just a simple deadpan stare. It doesn't fit his vibe and frame.

The key thing to take to heart here is your mindset when facing shit test. It doesn't matter how you handle it, as long as it shows that you aren't fazed by all the bullshit she throws at you to test your dominant frame.

You made a good point about ASD shit test. However, I dislike to qualify myself when the girl is fishing for compliment or security. I usually just smile and escalate.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 2:55 pm 
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Well said dude, lot of truth in that post

Salute!!


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 8:27 pm 
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Pumpington has it down in terms of strictly being congruent but in the big swing of things. However, it's pointless if you prove your a dick inside and out or a clown. Women may prefer different personalities and all but the true drive behind sexual tension is calm and serious. That's why you don't see people laughing hysterically during sex or hating on each other. I can also stay congruent with my faggy personality. Am I one of those people who are real? Hell yes, I can even go the whole 9 yards with accessories so people can spot me as a faggot from a mile away. But if I'm trying to attract females, what does that do for me.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 7:11 am 
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Pumpington has it down in terms of strictly being congruent but in the big swing of things. However, it's pointless if you prove your a dick inside and out or a clown. Women may prefer different personalities and all but the true drive behind sexual tension is calm and serious. That's why you don't see people laughing hysterically during sex or hating on each other. I can also stay congruent with my faggy personality. Am I one of those people who are real? Hell yes, I can even go the whole 9 yards with accessories so people can spot me as a faggot from a mile away. But if I'm trying to attract females, what does that do for me.
consider this, there are two guys, same social status, same income range, but their looks differ, we will assume that the girls in these examples value looks and make assumptions based on what they see before contact is made

a girl sees a big ripped fitness model, she gets this pre-concieved idea in her head of what he would be like before he even talks to her, he is above her, he is too good for her, he is probably a cocky guy, he probably has alot of confidence, maybe he is vain and into himself, she is already attracted to him but insecure that he would already have alot of girls and probably would treat her poorly, she would want to be with him if she knew she was good enough and if he treated her well and was normal but then all the .... but what if, but what if, happens in her mind

now she gets approached by him, first thing he does is allows her to know he is attracted to her, right away this qualifies her, all of a sudden she feels more secure about being good enough... she just got qualified, so what is left for this overly attractive guy that she thought was out of her league?, well, now there is the issue of him possibly being a player, maybe he is a man whore for all she knows, how many girls has he possibly done this to today? how can he handle this insecurity?, after she has been qualified, just be normal, don't be so foward with her to the idea of sex too fast, move at a more comfortable pace, so it doesn't seem like you're after the gold and just going to ditch her at first fuck, just don't push it too hard and keep it discreet save the escalation for isolation, be more humble and less cocky, the more he just seems normal and creates a comfort, the more it seems like his intentions are genuine, and if the overly good looking guy breaks rapport too much, once again the girl will get insecure fast and think she is not good enough, but within reason, he can still call it out when he is being dis-respected for no reason, it is more benificial for him to raise the girls value up and take his time and be genuine so the girl gets that security and feels a strong connection so she knows she can trust him, without the trust he will be facing a fair bit of ASD that could very well impede him from sealing up the deal

now, OTOH, lets consider a flat slightly below average to average guy, a girl sees this guy, she gets a pre-concieved image in her head, she's not impressed, she is simply on the fence, he is probably needy and doesn't get many girls, maybe he is overly nice and shy to make moves, she already assumes she is probably a little too good for him since she knows she has hotter guys orbiting her, so he approaches, initially she sees confidence from this so it might give him a quick initial boost destroying that image that he is shy, but now to simply hook and get a girl to open up emotionally passed the hook point and start investing, do you think this guy can just be serious and straight forward and qualify the girl and it's done?? is that going to wet her little cat and she will just start getting nervous and try to qualify herself for him because of the tension?, not likely.. she isn't attracted to him enough, it's more likely to just get him blown off and snubbed or given a flakey number so she can continue her day without dealing with him (and she will flake him cause she isn't interested, rather then doesn't know him), so what is a solution for this guy?, make her laugh/break rapport, when she is getting some form of emotional value out of the exchange she is more likely to follow his lead, and he can lead her into investing more, she initially gets her ego validated cause a guy is approaching and either directly or indirectly she probably feels more qualified because of this and that's a good feeling, but if she feels over qualified, rather then under qualified, rapport has to be broken to challenge her ego so her self esteem is not so high that she thinks she is the queen shit and this is just another guy paying his dues to the queen, when she shit tests it comes from a place if he is not good enough, rather then a place of I am not good enough, in both cases both men have to be centered and bring their value into alignment with the girl, being sure of themselves, but both have to handle the situations differently because they are entering the set with a different pre-concieved ''value'' from the girl, fooling around and being clown or a ''faggot'' as you put it, is an easy way to get a girl to open up, not an easy way to seal the deal, obviously if you have a girl home alone and you are taking off her shirt and trying to make out with her, being some high energy guy telling jokes is not going to fly, how would you calm her down to set the right mood to get her to comfortably reciprocate? obviously every guy no matter the situation has to at some point in the interaction get serious and make his intent very clear while he goes for gold with nothing but certainty in mind, but from start to finish not every guy starts off with the girl attracted to him, and getting to that point where the girl is invested enough for that tone to be set will differ, some have to demonstrate that they are cool and have a great deal of self respect and confidence before the girl will show some respect and want to invest, and they can shift girls who initially were not considering sleeping with them towards the idea of sleeping with them, just by showing them they are fun to be around by clowning about and talking shit, but to do so they have to believe in themselves more so then the girl and suck her into their fun, or in other words bring her into a fun little ''faggot'' frame before they can start leading, cause the girl isn't willing to invest and be led without doing so, she stays around for the fun, he starts escalating she lets it slide cause she is in a good mood, before she knows it, she is invested, initially it isn't percieved it is of enough benifit for the cost of sleeping with/dating this guy, it's easier to wait around for that hotguy 8+ cause they want that guy they can brag about and an average guy is nothing to tell the girlfriends about, but are worried they will get played if they get that guy, cause they aren't the only girls who want that, they want to be able to not only get him initially, but keep him, so 5-6 can probably fuck them if he is tremendously funny/on top of his shit with a quick wit and able to cut her down when she is thinking too highly of herself, keeping her in line with an icy pimp hand, but the approaches between the two archtypes that will generate more success will be different, and they get shit tested from a different frame, if the good looking guy takes things too far and holds congruence with fucking around and talking shit, she will probably get insecure and think she isn't good enough, or he is acting in a weird way, if the average guy takes things too far and holds congruence with fucking around and talking shit, he can more easily be forgiven because the girl knows she is good enough for him, he is just being an asshole/having fun, and OTOH if the average guy is too normal, and too serious all the time and doesn't bring the full range of emotions for her and her ego remains unchecks, he runs the risk of being seen as boring and his looks sure won't carry him through that

now this is an extremely generalized example, and it is oversimplifying and not nessicarily exactly how it goes down since all of this will be widely subjective from person to person, but it can sort of give you an idea of how two different guys will see different success with the same approach and how the same thing doesn't work the same for everyone, one approach or one guy is not nessicarilly better or worse then the other, they will just have different approaches to the game to generate those feelings from within the girl, both can fuck it up, both can succeed

every guy has to find his own way to maximize his assests, a fatass rich guy ceo who is ugly as sinn, is probably going to be playing the game slightly different, then a broke ass good looking dude that works at the payless shoes, and both will be attracting different types of girls


Last edited by pumpington on Mon Aug 20, 2012 7:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 7:54 am 
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Man this topic is usefull.

Lets try this in a theoratical way.

Lets presume that I am a 7,5. Also I am an high energy fun guy. Then Ill have to differate my approach not only based on the fact were I am, but also who I am approaching and how big the set is.

When I try to approach a someone who I believe has less confidence than me (HB6) , I will have to boost her ego a little, giving her compliments about het assets (not tits or butt but clothes and stuff I mean). Ill have to qualify her all the time and meanwhile try to build sexual tension.

On the other hand, when I try to approach someone I would rate higher than me, I would need to disqualify her (negs, showing disinterest sometimes etc). Building sexual tension though kino becomes a lot harder though because you break raport often. The idea is to make sure she starts to qualify herself to me.

Until now everything is correct right??


Of course both women will still shittest me to see if Im the real deal.

So how should I handle the shittests of the 6 and how to handle the tests of the one ranked higher than me??

I believe you should handle both differently. How is the question.

Also there is the probability that the HB ranked higher might see that I act different to the HB6 or the other way around, which will destroy the chances with either one of these women.

Logically speaking you should try to find a way to behave in a way that makes it easyer to behave the same to both women. Of course finding a middle way is not easy and isnt an advisable method either (Porter, Stuck in the Middle etc).

So here is the question, how would you handle the shit test of both women??

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 8:07 am 
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Man this topic is usefull.

Lets try this in a theoratical way.

Lets presume that I am a 7,5. Also I am an high energy fun guy. Then Ill have to differate my approach not only based on the fact were I am, but also who I am approaching and how big the set is. Until now this sounds logical.

When I try to approach a someone who I believe has less confidence than me, I will have to boost her ego a little, giving her compliments about het assets (not tits or butt but clothes and stuff I mean). Ill have to qualify her all the time and meanwhile try to build sexual tension.

On the other hand, when I try to approach someone I would rate higher than me, I would need to disqualify her (negs, showing disinterest sometimes etc). Building sexual tension though kino becomes a lot harder though because you break raport often. The idea is to make sure she starts to qualify herself to me.

Until now everything is correct right??


Of course both women will still shittest me.

So how should I handle the shittests of the 6 and how to handle the tests of the one ranked higher than me??

I believe you should handle both differently, but how I dont know.

Also there is the probability that the HB ranked higher might see that I act different to the HB6 or the other way around, which will destroy the chances with either one of these women
this is another problem, you have to game the girl based on her behavior not on her looks

a girl you precieve to physically be a 10, could actually have low self esteem, where as a girl you precieve to be a 6 could have extremely high self esteem

you have to just practise until you can use your own judgement based on the vibe you are getting from people, learn to read body language and calibrate, qualification and compliance testing is a good tool for this, bait a girl to qualify or test compliance, if she won't qualify herself for you, or seems non compliant or hesitant with a low level of compliance, she is not willing to invest, this as well as everything else you sense from her can give you a feel for how it is, but what ever frame you hold, if it is bringing value to her, she will eventually fall in, if you can hold it, even the most negative of people, can be brought into a fun happy mood if you can maintain that fun happy mood without reacting, as long as they see value behind following and comforming to the person that is bringing that value

and when you get ''shit tested'', all you have to do to pass is maintain congruence to the frame you have set, so if she is is tooling you and you are having fun, just keep having fun and hold your frame, you can ignore her, or tool her back for fun, or what ever suites you, as long as you don't emotionally react to her and the behavior you have illustrated before hand remains constant (congruent), she will eventually fall into your frame and start reacting to you or she will reach a breaking point of non compliance and clearly demonstrate her lack of interest (goes beyond shit tests, she will plain and simple shut down, or walk away, or make it clear she doesn't want to talk with you), learn to spot the difference between a girl giving you a hard time and fucking with you or in a bad mood, and a girl who is genuinely dis-interested

also don't get too caught up in your own looks, different girls value different traits in a partner, your own status is subjective to the girl in question, just because you see yourself as a 7, does not mean another girl would not see you as a 4, where another girl would see you as an 8, etc. etc., learn to screen girls for compliance/investment and trust what you know


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 8:39 pm 
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Pumpington has it down in terms of strictly being congruent but in the big swing of things. However, it's pointless if you prove your a dick inside and out or a clown. Women may prefer different personalities and all but the true drive behind sexual tension is calm and serious. That's why you don't see people laughing hysterically during sex or hating on each other. I can also stay congruent with my faggy personality. Am I one of those people who are real? Hell yes, I can even go the whole 9 yards with accessories so people can spot me as a faggot from a mile away. But if I'm trying to attract females, what does that do for me.
consider this, there are two guys, same social status, same income range, but their looks differ, we will assume that the girls in these examples value looks and make assumptions based on what they see before contact is made

a girl sees a big ripped fitness model, she gets this pre-concieved idea in her head of what he would be like before he even talks to her, he is above her, he is too good for her, he is probably a cocky guy, he probably has alot of confidence, maybe he is vain and into himself, she is already attracted to him but insecure that he would already have alot of girls and probably would treat her poorly, she would want to be with him if she knew she was good enough and if he treated her well and was normal but then all the .... but what if, but what if, happens in her mind

now she gets approached by him, first thing he does is allows her to know he is attracted to her, right away this qualifies her, all of a sudden she feels more secure about being good enough... she just got qualified, so what is left for this overly attractive guy that she thought was out of her league?, well, now there is the issue of him possibly being a player, maybe he is a man whore for all she knows, how many girls has he possibly done this to today? how can he handle this insecurity?, after she has been qualified, just be normal, don't be so foward with her to the idea of sex too fast, move at a more comfortable pace, so it doesn't seem like you're after the gold and just going to ditch her at first fuck, just don't push it too hard and keep it discreet save the escalation for isolation, be more humble and less cocky, the more he just seems normal and creates a comfort, the more it seems like his intentions are genuine, and if the overly good looking guy breaks rapport too much, once again the girl will get insecure fast and think she is not good enough, but within reason, he can still call it out when he is being dis-respected for no reason, it is more benificial for him to raise the girls value up and take his time and be genuine so the girl gets that security and feels a strong connection so she knows she can trust him, without the trust he will be facing a fair bit of ASD that could very well impede him from sealing up the deal

now, OTOH, lets consider a flat slightly below average to average guy, a girl sees this guy, she gets a pre-concieved image in her head, she's not impressed, she is simply on the fence, he is probably needy and doesn't get many girls, maybe he is overly nice and shy to make moves, she already assumes she is probably a little too good for him since she knows she has hotter guys orbiting her, so he approaches, initially she sees confidence from this so it might give him a quick initial boost destroying that image that he is shy, but now to simply hook and get a girl to open up emotionally passed the hook point and start investing, do you think this guy can just be serious and straight forward and qualify the girl and it's done?? is that going to wet her little cat and she will just start getting nervous and try to qualify herself for him because of the tension?, not likely.. she isn't attracted to him enough, it's more likely to just get him blown off and snubbed or given a flakey number so she can continue her day without dealing with him (and she will flake him cause she isn't interested, rather then doesn't know him), so what is a solution for this guy?, make her laugh/break rapport, when she is getting some form of emotional value out of the exchange she is more likely to follow his lead, and he can lead her into investing more, she initially gets her ego validated cause a guy is approaching and either directly or indirectly she probably feels more qualified because of this and that's a good feeling, but if she feels over qualified, rather then under qualified, rapport has to be broken to challenge her ego so her self esteem is not so high that she thinks she is the queen shit and this is just another guy paying his dues to the queen, when she shit tests it comes from a place if he is not good enough, rather then a place of I am not good enough, in both cases both men have to be centered and bring their value into alignment with the girl, being sure of themselves, but both have to handle the situations differently because they are entering the set with a different pre-concieved ''value'' from the girl, fooling around and being clown or a ''faggot'' as you put it, is an easy way to get a girl to open up, not an easy way to seal the deal, obviously if you have a girl home alone and you are taking off her shirt and trying to make out with her, being some high energy guy telling jokes is not going to fly, how would you calm her down to set the right mood to get her to comfortably reciprocate? obviously every guy no matter the situation has to at some point in the interaction get serious and make his intent very clear while he goes for gold with nothing but certainty in mind, but from start to finish not every guy starts off with the girl attracted to him, and getting to that point where the girl is invested enough for that tone to be set will differ, some have to demonstrate that they are cool and have a great deal of self respect and confidence before the girl will show some respect and want to invest, and they can shift girls who initially were not considering sleeping with them towards the idea of sleeping with them, just by showing them they are fun to be around by clowning about and talking shit, but to do so they have to believe in themselves more so then the girl and suck her into their fun, or in other words bring her into a fun little ''faggot'' frame before they can start leading, cause the girl isn't willing to invest and be led without doing so, she stays around for the fun, he starts escalating she lets it slide cause she is in a good mood, before she knows it, she is invested, initially it isn't percieved it is of enough benifit for the cost of sleeping with/dating this guy, it's easier to wait around for that hotguy 8+ cause they want that guy they can brag about and an average guy is nothing to tell the girlfriends about, but are worried they will get played if they get that guy, cause they aren't the only girls who want that, they want to be able to not only get him initially, but keep him, so 5-6 can probably fuck them if he is tremendously funny/on top of his shit with a quick wit and able to cut her down when she is thinking too highly of herself, keeping her in line with an icy pimp hand, but the approaches between the two archtypes that will generate more success will be different, and they get shit tested from a different frame, if the good looking guy takes things too far and holds congruence with fucking around and talking shit, she will probably get insecure and think she isn't good enough, or he is acting in a weird way, if the average guy takes things too far and holds congruence with fucking around and talking shit, he can more easily be forgiven because the girl knows she is good enough for him, he is just being an asshole/having fun, and OTOH if the average guy is too normal, and too serious all the time and doesn't bring the full range of emotions for her and her ego remains unchecks, he runs the risk of being seen as boring and his looks sure won't carry him through that

now this is an extremely generalized example, and it is oversimplifying and not nessicarily exactly how it goes down since all of this will be widely subjective from person to person, but it can sort of give you an idea of how two different guys will see different success with the same approach and how the same thing doesn't work the same for everyone, one approach or one guy is not nessicarilly better or worse then the other, they will just have different approaches to the game to generate those feelings from within the girl, both can fuck it up, both can succeed

every guy has to find his own way to maximize his assests, a fatass rich guy ceo who is ugly as sinn, is probably going to be playing the game slightly different, then a broke ass good looking dude that works at the payless shoes, and both will be attracting different types of girls
All very good points and laying it down how it is, however I disagree with the unattractive guy scenario that he has to break rapport to challenge her ego. By breaking rapport I'm strictly referring to the guy doing something stupid or mean to make the girl resent him, not cutting off the interaction and backturning. I guess there's a right and wrong way to break rapport. A hot girl thinks she is superior to this one sorry ass ugly guy so he calls her fat and now she would rather kick his ass. What does that do for him. I think that in cases where the guy is perceived as inferior , they just have to escalate even faster and be more dominant. However, I think that breaking rapport doesn't have a place in seduction to start with. If a guy driving a ferrari was cocky and self-absorbed, then he's unattractive and disliked. If on the other hand he's all that but has that humble contrast, people will respect him. Now if a guy is driving a messed up KIA and he acts cocky and self-absorbed, that would just be perceived as stupid almost as if he's trying too hard to make up for his insecurities. My one-size fits all mindset is that at the end of the day depending on how you are, it all comes down to how fast you escalate.

The environment also affects the speed at which you can escalate. Can you walk into class and all of a sudden start caressing a girl's thigh? How about at the club? For guys that are perceived as superior by women due to looks, money, etc. although they need to focus on being more humble and building more comfort, if they were at a club, they can still escalate faster than normal with no problems whereas an average guy can escalate even faster without problems.

One more factor is the woman itself. There is a general technique or rule of thumb yes, but there are always exceptions. Some women are just so DTF, they couldn't care less how attractive you are, they're just really confident themselves. Rare, but still out there. Being a PUA is in my opinion, roughly 70% calibration. You adjust your game based on the environment, you adjust your escalation based on yourself, and based on the woman's reactions.

If you are at a library and you meet a girl with her dad, how fast would you escalate? Now hypothetically speaking, if you were at the club and you meet a girl with her dad, how fast would you escalate? A lot of it has to do with your intuition and being versatile.

Didn't see your other post so I may have just repeated what you said but yeah, I agree with a lot of things..

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Don't get on one knee for a girl that won't get on two for you.


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