What's the rule of complimenting? I know never to give her a big head/ego, and not to shower her with praise, but when is it ok? And how should I deliver it? I think that's the part I struggle with

Also, I think I got shit tested today, think I passed

Her: How bad do I look in this picture?
Me: Terrible!
Her: So I do look bad? knew it
Me: Well if you think you look bad go freshen up, I'll be waiting
Her: LMAO! ...so I DO look bad?
Me: Yes, I told you, you look like shit obviously
Her: Thanks :L
Me: Stop fishing for compliments. You're much better than that.. I hope ;D

well?

compliments are only effective if you really mean them in my experience. its easy to tell a girl that her hair looks nice, or her dress is hot. those are generic compliments that the majority of other guys do say. if you make a compliment that is specific and more detailed you separate yourself and it is almost always taken well.

well in this case...i think you did the opposite of what you should have done

if she is asking me if she looks good, and i think she looks good, say she looks good. and then escalate from that.. imo i would have seen this as her testing me, but only if i have the balls to say she looks hot. especially if its a picture of her pbviously looking hot. you definatly took it too far with the last comment.

Interesting question Eoghan Mush - I've not got an answer, but thought I'd add my voice to wanting to know one!

There's the old saying "flattery will get you everywhere", yet you hear pretty much the opposite most of the time on the board. There is a fair bit of literature on here about how to compliment and when, but most of it that i've read seems to suggest you should do it sparingly, or at the very least make it something observational and different "oh that's a nice necklace, where did you get it".

But I wonder if anyone has had any success with a full on charm offensive, loads of compliments and flattery? I'd be interested to hear about it if so.

"hi , I saw you and I think your stunning so wanted to find out if you're as interesting as you seem"". I'm ...... "

This has got a woman interested in me too many times to count .

Never be afraid to compliment but don't pander to her . If she looks stunning , tell her .

If she's acting like a bitch , tell her .

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Careful with complimenting. I use it sparingly. If she does something good it's ok to reward her with a compliment. Don't make it generic (e.g., "you're beautiful!"), instead make it about something you know she's expended energy on, such as her hair, or learning a meal she's made you, sucking your dick good, or even a new hobby or skill. Better yet, find something you know she's a bit insecure about, or new to, and compliment her on thing - this way your compliment will not only come off as unique, but will also be quite validating.

One caveat with complimenting. If you compliment a person on something they KNOW they are good at, such as playing the piano, they may feel they are above it and a compliment may in fact backfire and come off as patronizing and/or insincere.

I'd like help on this too. Like what kind of compliments can you give to a girl if its to be used sparingly like HeavyRota8tion said.

Tailor it so its specific to the girl. If, for example, you she's just learned how to play a few chords on the guitar compliment her on her strumming technique, or her chord progressions. If she's invited you over and cooked you a meal, be certain to compliment her on her culinary prowess (be specific "I LOVE what you've done with this quiche! Is that a hint of cilantro I'm tasting?") LOL

Say she's taking a while to get ready for the date (as most women do), complimenting her on her outfit, her sense of style/fashion is certainly called for.

Again, appealing to a part of her ego that you detect needs stroking will earn you double points. Say, for example, she's been taking an drawing class and is very apprehensive about showing people her work, by finding an aspect of her art and complimenting her on it your compliment will be like music to her ears.

Typical things women love being complimented on:
-sense of style/fashion
-hair (some women put A LOT of effort into their hair, its a big deal to many of them)
-their figure (most women are insecure about their bodies, thanks to societal expectations for them to look like barbie figures - be careful with this, but a tactfully placed compliment about say how tone they've become can be quite effective - if you are sexual with the girl yes even complimenting on her ass is a good idea)
-complimenting on personality attributes is also quite appreciated


Not only that, compliment her on qualities you want in a woman, as a form of qualification. "I've really been getting a glimps of your adventurous side lately, can't say that i'm not turned on!" Hinting you want her to be more adventurous and that is your expectation of any woman who is with you - expectations are extremely powerful to people who are invested in you. They'll find themselves bending to that expectation even if its not how they normally are.

I only give out compliment when she deserves it or when I really mean it. Use it wisely as positive reinforcement for her GOOD behavior.

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there is no rule on this or anything, there is even some theory around a concept called shock and awe that revolves around just stacking compliments, but compliments seem to be better when they are comming from a frame of approval giving, rather then approval seeking,

if you are complimenting to get a girl to like you, rather then complimenting because you believe she deserves to be complimented and just want to express yourself, you will probably run into problems

check out some russel brand videos on youtube, he's pretty good at qualifying, great frame control, compliments to show them he likes them, rather then to get them to like him, it's just like bringing value instead of trying to get value

also try not to fall into the trap of the good reaction, start validating a girl and you see a good reaction when you were not needy and it just came out as a form of expression, then you see the reaction, notice you are doing well, and get needy as a result thinking more positive reactions will lead to sex, so you continue more and more in order to get her to like you, even if the words are supposed to be framed in an approval giving manner or are given by a baiting a girl into qualifiers, if you are needy, the compliments will still come from a needy place, and you will subcommunicate this and start seeking positive reactions, avoid this trap, stay focused on the expression and your enjoyment rather then the result of what will come from the expression (don't think ahead, don't worry about the past, stay in the moment)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx5jKGlv9Ek[/youtube]

Russell Brand?? LOL REALLY?!?!?!

Almost every woman I know thinks he's disgusting (not cute, and lame as hell). Dude is effeminate and looks like a dirty dog. Thanks for making my day with this though, always up for a good laugh as obviously this was your attempt at being ironic.

Think of a character trait the girl would not expect to be complimented on but would like to be thought of. For example say "adventurous" (you need to calibrate the trait to the girl) Link it with a character trait you would like her to exhibit...let's say "passionate" By refering to the two traits together; because one want's to be accepted the other one will piggyback it's way into her persona.

Then if you get any LMR later you only need to trigger the memory of her ascription to herself of the traits and she will (usually) be consistent to her past declarations.