| Date: 11 august 2012
END OF JOURNAL - 1 YEAR OF SELF-DEVELOPMENT
I'm ending this journal with a little glimpse of what I've learned so far. I actually have no purpose anymore in posting online on a forum my stuff...I'm keeping my stuff private, although I will from time to time post a cool lay report or a special encounter, just not any more in this thread. With that being said,
I'm thinking what I could write here after 1 year of pushing myself and there's so much stuff it's crazy, so I'll just write some insights that might be helpful for some of you guys and tell you a little bit of my path so far.
One thing that just baffles me about this community is the massive failure rate. I see this all the time. Very rarely I can find a good wingman or someone who has a true passion and dedication to this. One problem that I found after meeting lots of people who talk shit but stand in the corner doing nothing is their lack of patience and their desire to immediately get good by learning and memorizing theory/routines. This is one of the worst mindsets you can have. Almost every guy who gave up that I know was lacking patience in achieving skill that can be insanely tough to acquire. I never understood this. I never had this problem. I knew the path that I had to walk...something inside me told me that this wasn't going to be easy. So I took my time and dedicated effort to improve any area that was bringing my success down. I remember how everyone around me gave up after barely 2 months and how I was going out, scared as shit to just approach. When I approached somewhere around 10 sets a night, I would see it as a big success. And I remember how the people around me that were sitting at home eating doritos were sending texts that were mocking me that I wasn't getting any good...I wasn't "closing". I deleted these stupid messages and always went home happy about ANY small progress I made. Any small step meant to me that I'm walking a path to a better future. I knew sometimes I was a pussy, I had terrible nights like everyone has, but I always kept my head up. There was never an option for me to give up. You need to understand that once you made the decision that you're stepping up the quality of your life, there's NO WAY BACK.
Now with that being said, some people say that they're stepping up...but let's see...they go out 1 time every month. No wonder you're not improving. If you want to have great control with a soccer ball, you'll have to touch the damn ball every day to have a good feeling of it's surface and master it's direction and force with every kick. Do you want success with women? I'm sorry...you'll have to interact with a lot of them. Like any skill, there's a path to mastery; and the key to success is not theory; it's action. This is one of the things that I learned after I stopped reading seduction material. EXPERIENCE beats the shit out of THEORY. Stop asking questions of "What should I do now? I have a phone number? Should I text her this or this?" Shut the fuck up and learn. Do what you think is good. Don't be afraid to fail. I want you to stop using this word...it means absolutely nothing. Failures are learning lessons. You're increasing your reference experiences in your brain, so that next time, you won't fuck up anymore. Stop the theory. Gather experience! When you're living an experience, it gets printed in your brain...useless words and theory do nothing to you. It's in the ring that the action takes place. So put on a pair of gloves and expect to get hit.
After a while, I met people who were much better than me (The_Mack & OliverKing). I recommend to anyone to try to have in your social circle people that you can learn from and who're better than you. These guys made me think of something I have never thought since I started the journey: my inner world. And this comes with one my most profound and important things that I've learned after 1 year. Internal reality is much more important than external reality. In other words, if your inner game is very strong, your outer game is almost nothing. When you're grounded in your own reality and you know who the fuck you are...people can't mess with you. You stop looking for approval and guess what...that attracts girls as fuck! How you view the world, how your self-image affects your emotional state and how you let your thoughts dictate what actions you should take can have an amazing impact in your dating life. Here's when the ego comes up in the equation. I recommend to everyone to learn about the ego and it's mechanisms of fucking your life up (Power of Now - Eckhart Toll). The ego is the only thing that keeps you from having that special girl in your arm. It's a false identity created by the mind, that attaches itself to any external circumstances. It's always seeking something to attach and put meaning to it. It's attached to responses from other people, how you look, what you do, what's your "external reputation", etc. Detach your ego from the outcome of how other people behave when you interact with them. This sounds really easy, I know...but it's something that with practice, you become better and better at it.
YOU'RE ENOUGH
The last insight + this one combined together can make you kill a night like crazy. I always thought when I started the journey, that for hot girls, I had to do or say something different to get them...like they were special human beings or something. Now, 2 months ago, I started having really good nights every time and I started making out - almost pulling some really high quality girls (not a lot of course). Because I was having a good night, I was feeling so good about myself that when I was approaching them I had this vibe about me that exuded value and positive emotions. I made out with one in about 1 min and 30 sec and on the street, in front of a big guy who spent all the night with her and who didn't made a move on her. He wanted to beat the shit out of me...but the point is...I remember how that opened my eyes that I'm enough. I didn't do anything different or a special magic trick to get her...I was confident; I looked her in the eyes without flinching, I grabbed her head and made out. Let me repeat: YOU ARE ENOUGH. When you believe this not with 99.5%, but with 100%...what happens is that you stop thinking about what to say to impress her or to "move the conversation forward" and you start to immediately express cues of dominance that gets her attracted. And that's when the "outer game" or "what you say" is irrelevant. Like reallllyyy irrelevant I can't emphasize this more. I have seen, did and witnessed the most absurd sentences, comebacks that made no sense, yet the girl enjoys it so much it's crazy. HOW is always more important than WHAT. HOW you say a sentence is wayyy more important than WHAT do you say. Girls don't give a fuck about the material content. They're emotional creatures...they never look at the word by word content, but what feelings do they have when you express yourself.
I still have so much to say...but I'll stop here. Now I hope I helped some of you guys, I'm writing this to close my journal, where I'll be honest I didn't post a lot of stuff that are important...but whatever. I did my best to try and write some of my insights that came not from reading...but from going out every fucking week for the past year. Every fucking week.
With that being said, l have a veryy long road ahead of me; I have so much to improve and I'm excited to keep developing my life in a positive way that can help me and others around me. For real, life is too short to sit around eating chips...get your lazy ass up the fucking chair and start taking action. No one will do it for you. I wish everyone good success and a happy life!
FlaiR
|
CHAT
. My hands were holding the most perfect ass that I held in my entire life hahaha. No but really, I was like no fucking way I just started to check her ass and legs in front of her and my dick gets hard in a matter of seconds. Now I learn that she’s from New York and she stays here until Monday…I’m like wow this is just awesome! I go for the number, but she tells me she doesn’t have any phone because they’re on vacation and bla bla logistic problems. I go fuck what the hell do I do? I make out more to think at the same time and she’s just more turned on, starts telling me that she loves the way I kiss and that she likes it rough. I go alright I have to pull this right now…but her friends come. They’re like 6. And they are all yelling at a cab to come by. In that moment, I just didn’t know what the fuck to do. I went for the pull…told that we should spend time and that I’ll drive her afterwards to her hotel. She wants to and her friends even approve it. They’re like: “Alright but are you drunk?” I go: “No not at all”. However, she started hesitating…saying that she doesn’t like being alone. Now what’s the biggest idiotic newbie mistake I made…I should’ve gave her a less “hoop of compliance” a reason so that she can rationalize how it went down. I should’ve told her: “I’m hungry come eat with me 15 min and I’ll drive you back to your hotel”. After that, when we would’ve been alone…totally different story! FUCK so pissed…I had little time to think and I don’t have a lot of experience with pulls so I was like fucking shit. Now she leaves, but I tell her I want to meet her tomorrow…she gives me the name of her hotel and tells me: “Be there at midnight” It seems pretty fucking solid, however…I’m just really scared something may happen and I’ll not fuck this girl 
. My goodness what an ass…I’ll go there at midnight tomorrow and hope this is solid with no buyers remorse. May the universe give me what I deserve!
So during the night, we also pushed to see where can we go with self-amusing / insults / saying complete nonsense...gather more reference experience in this area.
(BOSS)