After Jealousy (Sexual Enlightenment)

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PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 10:54 pm 
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Most men and women are afflicted by feelings of jealousy. In rare cases people claim and appear to have no psychological disposition towards feeling jealous. Many people claim to be free of jealousy, yet their behaviors suggest that they only want to be free of jealousy, yet still feel it and endure it as best they can, or they seethe underneath with it. The most common occurrence of jealousy is from the fear of your partner being more satisfied by another man or woman than they are by you and in most people no thought is given to whether their partner is happy to return to them or not, although that is the primary crucial point that must be focused upon.

Once jealousy is overcome however, there are still other obstacles before true sexual enlightenment and peace may be attained. Once a man or woman allows themselves to accept that it is natural and can be emotionally harmless (often even beneficial) to allow their partner to engage with other people they find sexually desirable, they must therefore accept that they may not always be enough to fully satisfy their partner. Until this is consciously understood at some level, understanding of why their partner may desire other partners won’t be attained. It should also be understood, that the giving of sexual pleasure to another is often considered to be a friendly caring and sometimes loving gesture devoid of true sexual desire on one or all parts.

Once one has come to terms with the reasons why their partner may have other partners and that they are fully justified and reasonable to have them in their life, then one has to overcome the fear of not being sufficient to fulfill their partner. Much of the reason for feeling jealousy in the first place comes from the fear that your partner will abandon you for another person who satisfies them more. After coming to terms with the fact that you may not always fully satisfy all the needs of your partner, you may find yourself back where you started, worrying (often subconsciously) that one of the people your partner engages with will satisfy them more than you currently are.

To reach complete peace of mind and enlightenment over sexual jealousy, one must take the time to reflect on oneself. In a healthy balanced relationship with a true connection between partners, it should be easy to find proof to reassure yourself that your partner is bonded to you for real reasons and that you fulfill and satisfy them in ways that other people can’t or don’t as well as you can. Allow yourself to see your partners in life as a faithful animal companion; a dog taken off a leash, a falcon untethered, a horse unbridled, yet still loyal and wanting to stay with you and follow you for the way you make them feel to be with you. If you love someone, set them free and if they love you back, they will stay by choice rather than by the constraints you thought you had needed to keep them against their will. Rules and conditions in a relationship are no better than shackles meant to prevent a prisoner from escaping prison.

"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausc