please read the whole thing before you comment, sorry its so long.

well basicly this girl ive liked for a while has been single for 2 weeks, im spending more time round her coz of a mate going out with her best friend. im not sure if shes still interested in me and only 80% sure she was in the first place but im going for it anyway.

today i had some guy ask to buy my choclate bar off me for 30p and i said yeah. he said hed bring in the money tomorow and i was like nah u can buy it tomorow if you want it so bad. then another guy comes up whos been a little bit of a prick to me in the past and starts to talk to me and i offer him it for 30p and he sez what the hells that choclate bar coz it was probly unkown brand to him and hes like getting all cofused and sez what about 30p? and this other major prick comes over we have a short chuckle at him for bieng so stupid. then he says ill buy it lets have a look coz i dont know what a boost bar is. and i say nah(coz hes obviosly going to nick it) but they kept asking and slowely made it into a little bit of a scene and i said fine kindof held it in my hand so they couldent pull it away they asked to see the wrapper properly and laughed at me saying i was slow w.e. i showed them making sure i had a tight grip and as suspected he pulled it out of my hand, my tight grip crushing it in the process. he then ran a short way away and the other guy asks arnet you gonna get it back ? and i said why would i want a choclate bar thats crushed and i kindof just let it go.

she was sitting behind me a little way in a group of about 6-7 i was standing up so i think this may have made me look completly stupid my mate dident realize this was happening and he was sitting right next to her. i know im over complicating this but shit like this is bound to happen every month or week and im not gonna be able to keep the relationship going and the stuff isent big enuf to start a fight over and thats the only way i can think of solving this. ive had shit like this happen way too often it stopped for about 3 months recently but ive just shown them im not an alpha now and there gonna do this shit again right?

however recently she was hugging me and something scary happened and she was holding on to my arm kinda hiding behind me, thats good right? then strait after this shit happened she gave me a high five then started comparing her hand to mine and saying how big mine was and w.e.

and one thing im worried is about the fact she does lots of kino with ever 1 high fives and shit so im worried its just friendly and im completly miss reading her signals there was something else, i was at a carnival with her and some mates and we were properly hugging and shit and got v close to kissing im very upset from that still coz i dident inisiate it. and finnialy she could have been drunk but she only had like 2 sips of campari and some beer.

haha ok that wasent the final thing still got some more to say, thanks if youve kept with me this long and she cheated on her bf which is a rumor to why he dumped her he said i dont feel the same way you feel about me. so do i wana go out with her if she cheats?

one last thing (for real this time) dont say just get another girl or w.e. do u know how hard it is to get another when your in secondary school (high school) year 11 and you dont get invited to all the partys and shit.

thanks.

a thanks in advance incase i cant thank you personnaly for any help you give me.

still waiting for replys...

Worry is a fear we manufacture, it is a choice.

Stop worrying about it and enjoy.

Never be bullied......it leads to bigger things, and they already own you.
Next time it happens get what ever they took back...the item does'nt matter.......it's about respect.

they already making fool out of you, you gotta step up for yourself buddy. It will just becoming worst and worst and soon you will get used to it and it will fuck up your life.

I was a bully,(trained martial arts since 5, athletic, etc.) and once i was pissing off this kid and making fun of him in front of everyone, and all of sudden he hit me in the face, so i fucked him up bad for that (had no choice had to preserve my value as a dominant male), but i never pissed him off again cuz i knew he wouldnt take shit from me, so i left him alone and went after other kids.

Im not like that anymore that was 10 years ago, but im just giving you an example from a bully perspective how shit works.

Imo you should just kick him in the balls and just start hitting him once he is on the ground, saying shit like " dont fuck with me mother fucker, and never take my shit again, next time im gona split your fucking face in half." there is a possibility that he will fuck you up after that just to preserve his value, but he will never want to fuck with you again, you have to do this all the time with everyone, it cant be one time thing, otherwise they gona think you just snap this once, you always have step up for yourself. You might get suspended and get into some trouble, but at least you wont be pussy anymore.

And try to be more alpha using words and use fight as last resort. But i know from experience that once you in the group of people that others pick on and make fun of, no matter what you say, they just gona keep doing this shit over and over again, cuz your words mean NOTHING.

I am in no way an advocate of violence. Bullies are an exception.

Let me tell you something about bullies, they ARE scared. You are not scared. There is something about you that frightens them. This girl you like will be more attracted to if you stand up for yourself. It shows dominance.

Even better would be to make him back down using words. This sends an incredibly powerful message, then fight him. Win or lose, you have still won your respect.

If you were me, I would get right up in his face, and say "FUCKING TRY ME AND WATCH WHAT FUCKIN HAPPENS BITCH!" Then push him to the ground as hard as you can.

If you choose MY method, just be ready for a fight right there and then. But I really suggest you don't fight in school.

thanks guys i would get into fights coz so far every 1 i have already got into fights with have stopped bieng pricks wether i win or lose, the thing is ive had responses to this kind of question b4 saying not to fight never to fight just use words.. and the thing is 2 -5 more fights later im kicked out of school permanently

im considering going mental and attacking them all at once but i will probly get a serious beat down but at least i wont have to fight again?

i am pretty strong and im tall with a high wieght im thinking i could beat any of them with some good boxing training whatya think?

I've come to the conclusion that if you whoop someone's ass with enough style, it's almost* as good as AMOG'ing the guy out of the set.

*Almost because you could lose your pretty looks mighty quick if his buddies decide to jump in. And AMOGs always have buddies.

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The more value that you earn equals how much respect you are going to get when you call people on their shit.

In your situation a fight probably wouldn't be too good for you, and personally I like to befriend all the guys that give me a hard time..

..sOO this is a rough scenario of what could have happened:

Prick: Hey dinklets, give me the chocolate bar
You: Naah bud. What makes you think you deserve it?
Prick: I fucked your mom last night (friends laugh)
You: Dude, my mom died 3 weeks ago in a car crash.
(WAIT A SEC..) "Just pulling your leg bro"..
You: So how do you all know each other (introduce yourself, etc.)


...NOW that's just a scenario, and I personally would not advise you go out joking that your mother died as you might seem rude or disrespectful.

The idea is that if they are making a scene out of it, you should be making it even more of a scene. Use your humor, think quick on your feet, and then reframe.. make everyone want a little peice of you. :p

That's my veiw on it, and I'd like someone to give feedback on my post.

Cheers!

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on't you love te feeling of making someone's day?

dude if u have a remote chance of winning beat the shit out of that kid

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I'd rather die like a Tiger than live like a Pussy!

Ok man here's my take.

It's not just as simple as beating someone's ass. Your style really matters, and your style comes from your frame. I can tell by the language you're using you don't feel very confident with yourself - especially in a public setting. This is a pretty big deal and if you don't do something about it, it could become a recurring problem in your life.

I know it's cliche but truly the best way to get over what you fear is simply to face it. So think about this. What is it that makes you nervous or uncomfortable withourself when you're around these guys?

Once you've considered this for a while stop trying to prove to other people that you're cool by beating the hell out of these guys. You gotta prove that shit to yourself first. That's all about the thoughts that go on in your head. Nobody can control those if you don't let them. Go look in the mirror and tell yourself how cool you are. Believe that shit!

Then the next time you find these guys are bullying you, just ignore them. It's a tough thing to do - i'll be the first to admit that.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU DONT LOSE CONTROL OF YOURSELF. The minute you raise your voice, the minute you feel your face get hot, is the minute you've given power to the bullies.

I've practiced martial arts (Karate and Judo) for a combined total of 8 years. I've also been in a lot of competitive fights. It's one thing to fight competitively and it's another thing to fight for real. You really damage yourself when you do get into fights.

With that being said, if it comes down to it just stand up and tell them calmly, "I suggest you get outta here or I'm gonna mess up your face." They'll probably laugh at you or something when you say that.

At that point calmly whoop thier ass. Fuck thier shit up in the most profound way possible but do it calmly and cooly. Then walk away like you just got done taking a pleasant shit.

Bullies will respect and fear you if you take this approach.

CPT

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"Wait, so let me get this straight. One really big meal a day then we go to sleep, no paper towels but a little bit of bread because we're not Nazis and as many popsicles as we want."

crack him 1 :D .

Pretty much what callmecaptain said, remain calm and collected. I had similar sort of problems to this in school, then in year 10 (you say your in year 11 so i asume you're in uk) after putting up with the shit for so so many years i decided no more, find out what your strength is and use it against them, my biggest strength for instance was my humor. So armed with this I set about basically making them look like idiots infront of the people I identified they were trying to "impress" (if that's the right word). Remember they do all this to show their dominance to other people, so if they are unable to break your frame only after a few times they will be thinking "shit, that guy made me look a fool to everyone, it wasnt a fluke because he did it more than once, let's pick a new target and quickly". Also by not being broken by their attempts to dominate you, you quickly gain the respect of everyone around you in that enviroment. The bullies are afraid to try and bully you, and everyone else begins to recognise your integrity (again, is that the right word?) and your confidence in yourself.

Now what I was saying about using humor is very simple, they make a comment then you just very calmly and unreactively say something that is like giving them a slight back of the hand slap in the face. Just quick wit you know, then as soon as you've finished saying it, cooly stroll away. If they get aggressive, again just calmly walk away and you will be judged as having "won" because you dont need to resort to violence to resolve your differences with people. You're in control at all times and they lose their control. From starting to do this in year 10 after about a month of occasionally doing this I gained the respect I felt I deserved after so long of not having it, and apparently some people even mentioned their new found respect for me to some friends of mine.....all with the same reason, I didn't take peoples shit anymore.

Hope some of that helps dude, good luck!

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"My toughest opponent is always myself"
Musterion's Journal

be a man stand up for yourself and yes they'll be back because they know you'll take it. I'm not saying fighting is the answer but you better be prepared to next time

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