Any tips on being an alpha male



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PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:23 pm 
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I have read some books on becoming an alpha male but after trying to add them to my everyday life it has just made people see me as a snob or a stuck up. Some people even say that i behave as if i am better than everyone else.
I want to change that persona but still be an alpha male has anyone got any tips.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:25 pm 
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Well, I think somehow or rather, you must have some arrogance in you.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:35 pm 
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Gunner makes a good point. Theres a difference between being confident and arrogant. If you are arrogant and being alpha you will come across as stuck up/assholish.

Being confident doesn't mean you need to vocalize it all the time. Being an alpha male mostly is about body language. As to what you say, being witty and funny is good enough. You don't need to be a downright asshole.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 11:55 am 
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The body language part is the main thing I am trying to refine myself at the moment - both in terms of my own and that of reading other people's.

I have been obtaining feedback of my own character from my peers recently, and also reading up on Alan Pease's work and I've found that I unknowingly project an arrogant and intimidating aura. I've received a couple of remarks that my confidence levels are so overflowing that people find it threatening and intimidating.

Think of it this way, I am a 24 year old uni fresh grad, but someone says that my confidence levels and body language belongs to CEOs.

My approach now is therefore, to tone down my body language and scale back on my hand gestures as much as possible, trying to present a more calm and composed outlook.

I think the key to have a little arrogance, but not enough to overwhelm or repel people.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 2:23 pm 
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I think it's very easy to come across as arrogant or conceited when trying to be alpha. It's something I've been worried about myself recently but I have realised a few things.

I've seen a lot of guys (most who have probably never come across pick-up artistry before... AMOGs essentially) who try to put themselves across as alpha through their body language just look like stuck-up assholes. I think the main reason is that their "alpha" behaviour is very self-centred. They are trying to appear "alpha" to be more attractive to women but they are doing so at the expense of their friends. They're basically subtly AMOGing their friends (often probably without even being conscious of it).

Here's an example, lets say you're in a bar and see a group of guys sitting at a table opposite. There are 2 guys sitting on the same side of the table and one is trying to put himself across as alpha using his body language. He's spread out taking up a lot of space and kind of has his arm resting on the back of his friends' seat. Now this guy is using a technique many PUAs will have read about on appearing alpha. He's taking up a lot of space and trying to appear dominant. But in doing so he's making his friend look sort of beta or subservient.

Apart from the fact that a perceptive woman (or man for that matter) will be able to tell that this is in fact quite reflective of insecurity in ones' own status, it's pretty arrogant. And more importantly, IT'S NOT ACTUALLY ALPHA! I'm sure some will disagree with this but to me being an alpha-male couldn't possibly, by definition, involve anything that lowers the value of your friends or loved ones. In fact, a real alpha-male's focus will be primarily on bringing out the best in their group, making everyone contribute to the experience to their best ability and raising the value of all.

What's more, I think that one of the key things about being truly alpha is to stop focusing on yourself and stop being so conscious of yourself. Instead, focus on those around you and on making their experience as good as possible and raising the value of the entire group. If you learn to do this well you won't just look alpha, you'll become alpha.

Hope some of this helps anyway :D


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 3:23 pm 
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Yes there is always that fine line.
I'm attending a large university, and I can smell a "wanna-be" alpha fraternity guy from a mile away. He is trying TOO hard to be 'the shit'

There is that fine line that you shouldn't cross, and always maintain a degree of being humble. I think it is much harder to pull of the right equilibrium of humble/aplha than to simply be 'the shit' type of alpha.

Be very confident in what you do and think, but don't overdo it! Some of these guys just make themselves look like ASSES by purposely putting other people down to look better. This is particularly good when AMOG, but don't do it ever class period, or every hour at work.

I've lost several friends and had to distance myself because they were simply putting everyone down, including me, to either look better and/or make them feel better about themselves. Usually they get so involved that they don't even realize it!


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 3:38 pm 
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Tips on being alpha:

-Body language is probably most important
-Take up space
-Don't ask for permission(if a necklace is by a girls neckline that you like, just grab it as if you know she wouldn't mind)
-Give value to others(make others feel good)
-Negging/teasing/banter/being witty
-KINO KINO KINO(to guys and girls)
-A good storyteller and make eye contact with everyone throughout
-EYE CONTACT IS IMPORTANT
-Strive for self improvement(lifting/knowledge/girls/job/etc)
-Take your time with all your movements/gestures
-BEING SEXUAL
-Lately, i've been playing with my balls more....not to TRY to be alpha..sometimes directs girls attention to your sack, and shows confidence...but of course take everything into context, don't do it at a job interview for example.
-I don't really say "sorry or please" unless they deserve a legit apology, and when i ask for things...it's more so a compliance test..not a request of which i'll find it necessary to beg for
-Be generous/considerate at TIMES, but only for unpredictability sake or to give value to someone who deserves it...this goes back to chilling out with apologies
-Of course some cockiness is appropriate, just don't over do it...

If i think of other things i do i'll post ...good luck.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:11 pm 
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good job slyder !
great points !!

something also very important is your voice... speak with a masculine voice slowly. it is the most important factor (in my opinion) of Charisma!

Take control of situations and be the leader. If a group of ten people go out to the club, you should be the one talking to the bouncers, telling (or ordering) one of the guys to take care of a girl if she's had too much to drink.. be dominant !

check out my eBook for more tips and have fun..

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:33 pm 
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Don't work in a cubicle. :P

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