Riiight...sooo...ex girlfriends.

You know what sucks ? Sucks that I've always been able to give objective solid advice to anyone asking for it , but in some scenarios (this is one of them) I can't think out of the box regarding my own problems.

So this is the girl that fucked up my world big time at the begining of 2013 after a 3 year relationship. I've never contacted her after the brakeup , she did a few times. We've had brief conversations every now and then. Nothing horrible happened. Nothing really bad even, I just didn't take it too well.


Whatever , not gonna get into that again. Point is , she'll be in town this weekend. She just told me and asked for a meetup. And I. Am. Terrified. No , you don't uderstand. I'm really scared. Shitless. I automatically turn utter AFC in her presence. That effect has seemingly not worn off yet. Which it probably should have ? I don't know.


I don't wanna pussy out on this. We all know stepping out of our comfort zone is the best way towards progression , but I need help. I need tips , whatever you have for me. I don't have any goal for this meetup other than facing my own fear. I don't care about other outcomes.


Wat do ?

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What's the purpose of her visit? Like, did you get the feeling this is a 'let's get back together' thing? A 'fuck-buddy' thing? Just friendly?

How you act will sorta depend what YOU want from this.

I think you want to to show her that you're happy and that you're going about your life in an awesome way. I wouldn't throw out any details about a girl/girls that you're currently seeing, but if it comes up or if she asks you can tell her about how wonderful someone else is and how happy you are.

Friendly visit is the vibe I picked up from her , but that may be because it's what I want. Like I said , facing my own fear is my main goal.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Well if it's just friendly and that's all you want from it, there's nothing to really worry about (easy for me to say).

There's no romantic pressure. She's just a chick.

I'd treat her just like you'd treat one of your guy friends.

yea treat her like a guy friend. I do that with my ex and now we are good friends, both knowing we are not getting back together. Its fun and funny as hell.

its just a friendly visit, so you shouldn't be worried the only time worry or fear comes is when you say you want just friendly but your mind is telling you u want her.

before you see her you neeed to really sit somewhere devoid of music or any other form of entertainment and ask yourself do I really just want friendship if no it will show if yes then you will be fine

Hey , thanks for the replies.

I'm still not sure what I'm gonna do yet , but I value your insights.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Are you sure you just want a friendly visit ?

Because I know when I met my ex of 3 years after a year of breakup I wanted a friendly visit. And I wasn't terrified at all.

I can sort of understand dude, my ex of nearly 2 years text me the other night (around 4 months after breakup) asking if I think we'll ever get back together and slyly asking if I'm seeing anyone new. Caught me WAY off guard, but took a breathe, and just told her that I have no interest in getting into a relationship with ANYONE (obviously including her) at any time in the near future and am instead focusing on things like Uni, moving out, blah blah blah.

My advice to you would be the similar, if she asks about your 'relationship status' or whatever, just be straight up; don't necessarily directly say to her "We aren't getting back together" if she hasn't asked that specific question, after all she is probably just being friendly, but just try to remain calm and collected, keep it simple, talk slowly, breathe easy and you should be fine.

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"My toughest opponent is always myself"
Musterion's Journal

You know what to do. You just need support and reassurance on the course of action given your history and tied emotions with this chick.