Hello guys,

I have been with this girl for about three months now. At first she wanted to put me in the friend zone but I managed to get out by simply stating what I wanted and walking away if it wasn't that and it worked. I ended up getting the "price" a few days after. So After having sex with her a few times and hanging out I started to feel that she was getting more attached to me. This felt great. It felt like I had done a good job.

She works and studies and she normally has a pretty busy schedule and that is fine, because I was looking for a casual relationship... Not like my previous girlfriend that wanted to be all over me all the time and acted like a psycho sometimes and made me feel tired of her overwhelming omnipresence. This new girl and I, we don't have an "all over each other" thing going on; we simply share warm moments of fun and passion, but I want this to last longer and maybe evolve in the future. We planned a trip for next month to be three days together out, away from the city and I am looking forward to that. Now, the problem is that I am feeling the interest dropping fast, and I am looking for some advice.

Lately she has started to call less. Normally she is the one who calls me and we talked only once a day, with the added but seldom exchange of texts. She has communicated to me how easily she gets distracted and how important it is for her to be focused on all the studying she needs to do and so I try not to bother her to much and that is why I usually let her be the one who calls me. But before, she called me every time she got out of work, now she calls me sometimes and only when she is already close to her house and so we don't talk for that long. Some days we don't talk at all. She lives literally one block away from me, but I feel she is way too distant. Sometimes I've texted her something fun and she responds with a one word text or an emoji and that is not a good sign in my eyes so I try to keep my distance too. Maybe it's just lack of fun activities but there isn't much I can do about that because of her awkward schedule, we can see each other only during weekdays at night and there isn't much to do at that time but to hang out at my place. We still have that trip planned though, she even insisted in sharing the expenses.

So basically I am asking for some advice. What do you guys recommend I do or don't do?

Relationships usually start out strong and then level out at a someone constant floating line. But there still are ups and downs.

Are you sure this isn't a phase? a stressful period?

Communicate with her dude. Don't game your girlfriend.

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Just talk to her about it. It could be a number of stresses. She will usually indirectly state what the problem is. You just keep your ears open for what that is and bring it up.

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This may sound harsh but I just tell it like I see it.

The "flame" was never there to extinguish. You used an ultimatum to get a girl who didnt like you like that to like you. Simple tip: if a girl doesnt want to be with you, whether it be at the beginning of a relationship or during, let her go. You picked a girl who's busy and on top of that she was reluctant in the begining...I mean...how did you think this would turn out? Now whatever the reason she wanted to friendzone you for is still there...plus...she's THAT busy that any relationship you have will be lame ie just hang out at your place at night=she gets bored=relationship over. As I said, there was no flame to be extinguished. It's like you bought a car that wasn't driving properly, did some quick repairs on some minor things, drove it for a while and are now wondering why it's not driving properly. You picked a chick that's busy. You picked a chick you had to cooerce to not friendzone you. Also, guess what? If she IS that busy, she has to forgo alone time, or time with friends to maintain a relationship. And the relationship is just hanging at the house. So she'll feel smothered. I dont know what to do in this situation. Next time, keep a girl like this as a booty call.

I agree with R.C. with the fact that she may be going through a phase. The problem I have is with your actions on this. You did a great job of getting her, but now you've turned her into your only option. It is a lot easier to find a girl that has the characteristics that you like than to change a girl into acting the way you want them to act.

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Thanks for the responses guys. You all had great points and insights.

Neo87, you do have a great point, even though I don't completely agree with you. While it is true that she only wanted a friendship at first, I do think there was a little spark after that. She got really attached during the first two months when we started our relationship. She mentioned to me how her feelings towards me were getting stronger without me even asking and she was also showing it to me in the way she behaved around me. I felt an increasing affection coming from her. Then classes started and after a few weeks - BANG. Suddenly her behavior changed drastically. short responses to texts, short time talking on the phone, busy all the time, etc. It is a night and day difference. Maybe it is just a phase like R.C. says... I mean, her topics of conversations have been hovering around the subject of her stressful situation with classes, etc.

I am willing to look somewhere else if this doesn't work out; it is not the end of the world, though she has a great body and cool personality. However, I just feel uneasy at how quickly and violently her interaction toward me has changed for no apparent reason (not to me at least) and my concern primarily has to do with why this happened, if only so that it does not repeat in the future, assuming of course that I have any control over it. It is hard not to think about it when it felt so sudden and unexpected. But now, looking back at it with a more clear head I think it's just the stress of the school load.

Again thank you all for the feedback.

Z

I see what you're saying but here's the thing. I'm just against forcing a relationship with someone. I have little idea of that goes on in a woman's head so if she doesn't want to date me it probably won't work. Attraction is one part of a relationship. She could not want to be with me because she knows she's not over her ex, she could know she will be busy soon, she could know she has issues with relationships. I can force it and get her attracted to me enough that I get her but those things are just gonna pop up eventually. Maybe this is a phase but the warning sign was there.

Talk to her, communication is key to every relationship. Try to be tactful and not needy though.

Just a thought though, you say she does all the running? maybe she thinks you aren't interested and is playing hard to get? Girls play games too my friend. Make it clear you want her and put in some effort yourself, make her put you as a priority in front of everything else for 10 minutes every now and then... that isn't going to kill her studies and ruin her life.... Guys try and play it too cool for too long in relationships and that shit just don't fly after a while.

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I am in almost same situation. But our beginning was more warm. There were no friendzoning, but just amazing sex. It looked like we are building something great. After one months, she went colder and colder and I could feel that she is dinstant. We also had almost no sex suddenly, which was great by the way (and she agreed with that, actually, she said that first).

I talked about it. Explanation? She just didnt have that tingles in stomach and she was trying to friendzone me without at least benefits (after a lot of nights of amazing sex, pretty weird). I said no, went no contact, after one week, she wrote. She was basically justifying her decision, so I said i understand and went no contact. Now I miss her a lot. I am sure she must miss me too. But she is not writing to fix it and I am not going to be needy. I guess we just have to move on bro. We can recreate with plenty of other women.