It's been awhile since I've written in this but there are a couple things I have been learning/cementing in my brain that has caused a shift in thinking.
1. Time is limited, focus on what is important.
We are brought into this world but each of us doesn't know when the day will come to say goodbye. I have been using this thought to make each interaction count. It doesn't have to be strangers, lately, I have been busy hitting up old friends and family to keep them in my life and to let them know that they haven't been forgotten. This has opened a whole new door when it comes to women. I am able to connect with them more because I know that even if it's a short fling, I want to embrace the fact that I had her and I want her to remember our time together as a good one.
This has helped me understand that negative talk and other things are important anymore. Life is passing by and I need to make sure I get my fill of it. I will get old. I will develop ailments because of old age, but the least I can do is live my life now and prepare my body by eating and living a healthy lifestyle.
2. Girls just want to know that they aren't being taken advantage of or used
Girls have recently been telling me "wow, I am not used to guys doing that. Usually, it's one sided. I give more than they do."
Now, I grew up in a household where we were expected to help one another, even if we didn't like each other. We still had to help and get it done. For me, I don't really need anything from anyone. I don't need their money, their food, their validation, and I don't need a woman to keep me happy since I know there are plenty of girls out there that will be happy to have me.
I have been treating girls like friends and lovers. I give them advice, or I help them out with a task if it's happening right then and there. For example, I was in Ottawa, Canada last week. This girl lets me stay over at her place for two nights. While I was there, I practiced the simple art of if you use it, then put it back. Or if she cooked and I ate, I did the dishes because that is my way of thanking her for her effort. Girls have been impressed with this and they don't give me much drama because they aren't used to my demeanor. This also helps with the connection, because she knows I am not interested in just sex (even if I am).
3. Being a bit outspoken might be a good thing.
Lately, I have been telling girls some things I like and don't like. I just want them to see me as a real person who has preferences like anyone else. This also helps me see if the girl agrees with what I said or she gives her perspective. Sometimes, girls just nod. In that case, I will change the subject. However, this has helped girls kind of adapt to my preferences, for example, I have been vocal about girls who get all needy and sad if I don't text right away. Now, I don't do this because I want to fuck with their heads, I have been really busy and I have many things going on. I am vocal about that as well. The girls know I am a guy with ambition and it's hard to take me off course. They respect that. I just give them a call or something to let them know that even if I am busy, I still think about them.
4. The idea that even if she sleeps with another guy or something along the lines, that is okay. As long as she comebacks and treats you like a king.
Now, I have been doing open relationships for awhile. The girls know that I want to move back to NYC someday because I want to experience the lifestyle for at least a year or two. Girls throw in and there about how guys are flirting with them and how they love them, but they usually downplay it once they see that it doesn't really get me emotionally reactive like that. The reason for this is because as long as they don't throw me away like a piece of paper then I don't care. I am doing the same. I am seeing about 2 girls at the moment with a fuckbuddy here and there. My mind is a bit more open these days. I know I will keep learning but I am liking where I am at. Thank you for reading. Much more to come
Still, practice safe sex everyone.