i want to get this right



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 Post subject: i want to get this right
PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2016 12:47 am 
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graduate school orientation was this week, and there's a hottie in my incoming class that I'm very interested in. I took her to a really shitty local art museum the other day, and that was ok. I've shown her I can lead, and make her laugh. However, I've found it difficult to escalate with her. I've complemented her on her good looks a little, but haven't really let the banter fly yet, mostly because we're on campus, and I want to get her to myself for a while to make my moves. I think by now, she should know that I'm interested in her, but I haven't conveyed that to her directly, which is my bad.

I also asked her to go hiking with me this weekend, and she says she's busy with studying and babysitting, with a "but I'll let you know", which I think basically means no, but in a nice way.

At this point, I don't want to be the one always initiating all of our intereactions, and instead, I want to give her space. At the same time, I also want to be the first one there, because girl like that probably won't be single for long.

So what do you think? persistence or dial it back?


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2016 1:24 am 
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The way you're going is causing your window to close. The more time you spend not making a move, the less attractive you will be and inevitably becoming an orbiter. Cut the hiking and going out and invite her over so you can escalate and seduce her. Don't spend your time trying to figure out if she's interested or not in order to avoid rejection. Instead, treat her like a girl that you had sex with last night and she's come back for more. You'll feel more natural in your escalation.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2016 2:15 am 
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You have to get rejection out of the way. Escalate. The worse she will do is say no.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2016 3:40 am 
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Stop impressing her with activities

Get her alone in your apartment for 'pizza and Netflix and chill" before its too late

You should at least go for the kiss on the 1st date otherwise it's down hill from there

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Last edited by Dragula on Sat Aug 20, 2016 5:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2016 5:15 am 
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I feel like i need to build more rapport with her and flirt some more before I invite her over. I don't think I'm at that stage right now.

what you are suggesting is for me to ask her to come over, and if she says no, then what? I move on?


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2016 5:25 am 
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He took her to the museum and that was enough for rapport. Invite her over and if she doesn't go with your escalation attempts, move on.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2016 5:27 am 
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Quote:
I feel like i need to build more rapport with her and flirt some more before I invite her over. I don't think I'm at that stage right now.

what you are suggesting is for me to ask her to come over, and if she says no, then what? I move on?
She is on a date with you, comfort and building rapport is a waste of time at this point so it is a matter of getting her aroused and alone where sex can occur.

Online dates are a little different since you have met the person for the 1st time but you are probably more likely to seduce her by trying on the earlier dates.

You have been on 2 activity dates, this should be enough for her to feel comfortable being alone in a room with you. If she declines your offer of pizza and chill then it could be a bad sign that she has lost interest. Girls never will let you know when they say they will let you know...

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 5:21 am 
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As several others have mentioned, time to go for it and escalate.

Either go with the Dragula suggestion of inviting her over for food/drinks/movie and make a move once you're in intimate proximity (don't rush it - have a good time) OR take her on a night date (drinks/snacks/whatever) and then find a nice secluded spot somewhere (indoors or outdoors - like a park) and make a move.

If she resists, ask her what's wrong, and if she can't give you a straight, satisfactory answer, just move on.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 9:04 am 
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treat her like a girl that you had sex with last night and she's come back for more. You'll feel more natural in your escalation.

This.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 10:53 pm 
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Quote:
I want to give her space.

^

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