Dear men:

I'd like to give you one big advice, coming from a female here. Here's the story to illustrate my point:

Met this guy at a social gathering. Was very attracted to him. We chatted a bit, he complimented my looks, and he goes, "Well, I'll go grab myself a drink." Doesn't offer me a drink. Sat there, gulped down his and commented on how cheap the drink bar was.

Few weeks later, he invites me out for drinks and says, "I'll pay." Okay, odd to say that.

Another time, invites me to his house, says he's got this great champagne. I get there, he shows me the bottle, then comes back out the kitchen with a half empty bottle of wine instead saying, try this instead! I have 2 sips, he offers water after.

Another 'date', he invites me to his place for dinner. Asks me what type of fish I like, what type of wine I like, dessert, etc. I get there, wait for 1 hour, he comes back with spaghetti and water.
He tried to touch me and kiss me. Ew.
No, sorry, total turn off. I am ignoring him but he keeps calling me.

MEN:
You don't have to spend hundreds of dollars on a woman. But for God's sake, please, STOP acting cheap!
This man had a chance of getting laid and he blew it BIG TIME.

Oh, and another RED flag for cheapo: Commenting on prices. This dude would mention every 'date' how this and that was cheap....yet look who was cheapo.

Here is a recent thread that might tickle your fancy:

general-questions/paying-dates-vt197794.html

The general ethos is that if you're going to invite a girl for drinks, you should at least expect to pay. I have encountered women that expects the man to pay and that's where it annoys me. If a girl at least offers, she is in my good books.

But I'm at a bar and a girl nearby say's 'Are you going to buy me a drink? - I am going to back turn her. If we have been flirting and enjoyed each other's company, I would ask if she wants a drink and I don't mind buying. Attraction plummets when guys supplicate like that.

This paying for stuff subject has caused so many cock blocking.

My ex GF however, wouldn't let me pay for a thing (That wasn't the solid reason I was with her lol)

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Yeah...still not buying shit for women. No duh the female perspective is "I'm worth more than you, so you have to fork out money to balance out the reality that my time is worth more."

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These hos ain't loyal

All this crap about the mentality of "not paying". This is the reason why PUA wannabees miss a lot of chance to get laid. There is a significant difference between "buying drinks to buy women attention" vs "hey we're having a good times, let's get some more drink, I'm enjoying my time with you". You definitely don't want the former but the latter is fine.

Don't be cheap. Don't be stingy about a $5 drink. When you're having a good time with your friends and buying a round of shots, do your friends think any less of you? NO. They'd appreciate it and probably buy the next round.

Now if she expects you to pay every time, then you can complain.

Buying a woman a drink is not bad thing. How you buy it, is.

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Men are bitching and moaning over a $10 drink! For goodness sakes! We're not speaking about $100 dinner dates!

This is the problem that I see men have time and time again.

They want a beautiful woman. Not average. Beautiful. Victoria's Secret. Oh, and not only do they want 9s and 10s, they want her to have a career, a great personality, give sex, etc. But they don't want to put in any effort!

I'm sorry to say this, but guess what? If there's another man, even if he's less attractive than you, that's going to put in the time, effort and money better than you, she'll go for it most likely!

It's $10 for goodness sakes! Anybody with a job can afford that. Of course she can afford herself a drink but she wants to see how much effort you put into showing you like her!
It's about the effort you put in to win her over. Jeez!

Then stop aiming for drop dead gorgeous women. Settle for an average to below average looking chick, even if she's on the heavier side.

It's called pay to play. And it dates back to evolutionary times.

Needs to learn to cook? How difficult is it to cut salad and cook salmon and run to the grocery store to buy dessert? It's called cheap and it screams cheap in big letters.

He had a bottle of sparkling wine but he refused to open it. Why? CHEAP.

It's like going to a birthday party without a present. Or dinner at somebody else's place without bringing a bottle of wine, or anything for the matter.

The tone in this thread seems to be turning ugly.

Cut it out and calm down, everyone. Let's inject some compassion in here.

I agree that a lot of guys take the "never buy a girl a drink" sort of advice from the pickup community and take it so far that they come off as cheap, which is a bad thing. The real message behind that sort of advice is to stop supplicating, to stop putting women up on a pedestal so much, and to stop using money as a substitute for your lack of charm.

I always offer to pay, and I don't mind if I'm paying for everything on the first date or so, but what really turns me off is when a girl never offers to pay for anything even after a couple dates. Really sends a shallow gold-digger vibe.

But, yeah, that sounds like a pretty extreme case, OP.

Why did you keep going out with this guy OP? It seems like there has to be more too this. Every time you met up with this guy, you got the "cheap" vibe from him and yet you still continued on with him. It reminds me of a girl that got dumped and in turn she tries to point out his flaws (not saying that this is the case).

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Sorry, are you disagreeing with me about agreeing with you?

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Because I was trying to give him a chance. And no, I'm not a fat ugly chick.

LOL, no. I am agreeing with you and making general observations about what I've seen with men when it comes to dating.

Even if a guy spends $100 on a date it won't guarantee him the girl. But you've got men at two opposite extremes these days.

Guys, men, whatever.....
I honestly feel like a lot of men come with this built in attitude that beautiful women are biatches, hard to come by....so let's end up writing volumes and volumes of pick up artist books to get them.

Sometimes, a woman just likes you without special magic tricks. All these magic tricks, yes, some do help but some don't. if there's no attraction between the two of you, no matter how much effort, time and money you spend, she won't stay.

I do get what you're saying... but the guy that you kept on giving a chance too just seemed like he didn't really understand girls much in general and must of been quite inexperienced.

But are you honestly saying that if you came to my place and I just stuck a pizza in or something easy to make because I really wanted to spend the time getting too know YOU and enjoy your company that I was being cheap?