i went to a strip club last weekend and got a couple of lap dances. i also got several strippers coming up to me and pretending to like me just so i get a lap dance. I also paid $20 to a milf stripper to sit on my lap and talk to me, I squeezed her ass several times while she was on my lap and we talked.

and you know what? as weird as it sounds, that feeling that everybody has a hostility toward me is reduced. I dont feel like a foreigner any more, i feel like i am part of the community. i feel like i understand social situations a little better. when i go to talk to a girl, my frame is not "she doesnt like me, I have to convince her to like me" any more.

I am not saying I am healed. I do have a long way to go, yes, but it's a slight improvement.

should I keep paying strippers to pretend they like me? should I go to a massage place and get a "massage" wink wink? should I hire a escort and get to a hotel room? should I forget about the sex industry and improve other aspects of my life?

Bart for president

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Bartm, becoming a little less socially retarded each day. Functionally retarded, well thats another story altogether.

Bart, stick to your approaches, you were along the right track. The strip joints are pointless.

I actually think that there's a lesson learned here. People like you when you have value. Value in a strip club is cash...obviously. The thing about you, Bart, is that you don't know what you're value is. I am assuming that you have value in some sort of way and hope you aren't just meat filling space.

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My thoughts exactly. Except the your/you're typo.

When I'm talking to women, I never have that "I have to convince her to like me" because I already know I am fun to be around. I already know that I can make her feel great. I already know that I have A LOT to offer as a sexual partner, as a romantic partner, and even as a friend. I don't just know these things; I feel these things in my bones from continuous repetition. That comes off as confidence.

What you need to do is start recognizing your own value. Your awkwardness, first of all, is fucking hilarious. That provides more value than a $20 bill. You are capable of injecting really good feelings into other people's lives. Practice delivering that goodness like you paid those women in the strip clubs and you'll end up in a much better place. Also think about what else makes you valuable. And if you can't think of what you're good at, for example, get good at shit.

Everything you said above, make the sentence the opposite and that's me. I dont think I can make her feel great. I dont think I have a lot to offer as a sexual partner.

I dont agree with your second paragraph. I have tried being myself (awkward) and that never leads to sex. I am pretty sure that you are already aware that women cant look at a comedian as a sex partner. will they laugh? yes. will they feel good? yes. will they have sex? no.

I dont know how to recognize my own value.

Bartm is trolling

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"Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own." - Bruce Lee

Did you join a gym yet, Bart?

not yet

bartm needs some goals. And by goals I'm not even referring to women, rather to sit and think what he wants out of life and to pursue those. Abundance mentality will come out of that as a byproduct and he'll naturally feel more attracted to himself, which make his interactions with women pretty much effortless.

Bart, draw 4 quadrants on a piece of paper:
1) Spirituality
2) Career & Finance
3) Mental & Physical Health
4) Relationships

In each write down your goals (you may have several for each quadrant). And then spend some time plotting your course (its not set in stone you may find you have to tweak things/alter the course a bit as you work towards them.

An example, for "Relationships" it may be that you want to enrich your connections with people through learning a few communication skills perhaps how to actively listen (which is 1) specific and 2) actionable - important that your goals have those two qualities).

That stripper money could be spent on a hooker.

How was this thread supposed to be beneficial? You are sabotaging yourself and now you are fishing for people to tell you to give up and quit because that is what you truly want to hear.

But I agree, you have no chance.

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the problem is, I dont know what it is that I want. I have an idea but I dont know if I just think I want those or I really want those. I will give this example because I cant come up with anything better: some people work their entire lives chasing money, but after they are rich, they realize it's not what they thought and they wasted their whole lives.
The point of this thread was, I have found something that seems to work so should I pursue it further.
if you were in my situation, would you get an escort or go to a massage place? have you ever been to a massage place? how does it work?

How many months has it been, Bart?

Bart, enough is enough. Time for action. You've spent too much time inhabiting your mind. Nobody is ever for certain on anything you can't live in perpetual fence-sitter ville on your couch.

Go out break a few eggs, learn who you are in the process.

Ya, go join a gym,

I think the reason I didn't go yet is because subconsciously I dont think it will work. two years ago I went to the gym every day for 3 weeks and it made zero difference in my confidence.