Read this one from the beginning. OP is doing absolutely nothing right. This is a rant.

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Yeah, well time for another round of weekend rejection. Something tells me I'm eventually going to have to start going to house parties or something for lack of actual clubs in this small ass town. That would hinge on getting invited, though. College is out for winter break too. Gotta believe a lot of the quality girls are long gone until January.

Thanks for pointing that out, that's what I meant. Since that is indeed the breaking point between "valid" male and fuck up in any woman's eye, the submission of her pussy, that is what matters to me. Long term availability in that regard is even better, but if she keeps you from her cunt in any way, then it's a failure. But the popular opinion as failure being good is something to consider, so whatever.

So did you read the book Dragula suggested?
I just started reading it... he talks a lot about wanting women for validation in the first couple chapters.

Yes, I've recently started to reading the first part. I'll admit that it is a clearly spoken methodology for understanding exactly what's going on between a man and a woman in a relationship. There's an obvious message that nothing is ever going to work out until you literally don't give a shit on a constant basis. And relationships that do work out will turn to shit if you start to give a shit. I do appreciate the tone of the book, which is more along the lines of "get shit done". Have also been reading some of Dale Carnegie's books. They are way more general in terms of not giving a shit and improving relations with people, but I'm literally starting at nothing in terms of true social interaction.

It occurs to me I should probably invest in a thesaurus to avoid using the word shit 50 times in a row.

Whatever, another weekend is starting and I have an actual date tonight. First god damn thing I'll fix is to find the appropriate table to sit beside the girl, rather than across from her like I normally do. Second thing is take my usual anxiety supplements and approach it not giving a fuck, which is easy since she has a kid and is older than I'd like. Even though she is attractive, those aspects almost make it like going out with a fat girl, even though I'll have an attractive body to look at and perhaps a good personality to interact with. And third, I really need to fucking learn and use her name. Hard to believe I've lasted this long not even using a girl's name in conversation. As for the rest, I'm just going to have to wing it. I don't pretend to have some master dating plan or conversational topic bank in my head. Going to have to learn to not give a shit and adapt to the environment, or change the environment to my advantage.

If I was you, I'd try using supplements until you get over that anxiety. I'd go as far as getting a script from the doctor even. It's not normal to not talk to ANY women while out. Also, in America looks won't matter as much as you think. Women dig height, money, interracial, hipster. Try to fall into one of those categories if you're running game in America.

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LOL. It's actually incredibly normal, especially for the kind of guys that end up seeking advice here.
You realize height and "hipster" would be part of "looks," right?

Also money doesn't go as far as you might think. Well, maybe if you're in millionaire territory... but simply pulling in 6 figures hasn't done anything for me.

Get over yourself for fucks sake

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Self oneitus

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I've tried tons of supplements. The one's I've mentioned before, ashwagandha and rhodiola rosea, seem to work the best. Pop those in and I can easily act like an idiot piece of shit for a good three hours, if I already know the girl and we're hanging out. But that's where it's limited. It only helps the middle part, which is apparently the easy part. The opening and closing are still out in limbo, and really the only two parts that matter, since they get shit done. And yes, quite aware women are woefully unattracted to average height white guys with low finances. And I feel like emptying out a can of tanning spray isn't gonna cut it, lol.