| This post will shit all over everything and anything you knew about rapport.
Ok guys rapport building is something I seem to be pretty good at and there are a lot of info I have lying around in my mind from either the pua materials, posts on forums and some more stuff from my NLP training. So this post is intended to go over almost every aspect of what rapport is, how to and so forth. If you can see any gaps in this post please inform me so I can fix it up and make this a pretty good overview of everything rapport/comfort/trust related.
Ok first of all I would just like to say, when the PUG’s talk about rapport they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. As you will see later in the post they concentrate of building rapport purely through words (specifically commonalities), little do they know that your physiology and tonality matter more than words in the world of communicating. However that’s not to say those things don’t work, they do! This is just WAY better. I almost guarantee naturals and pugs are masters of rapport building, be it a conscious or unconscious thing. Remember rapport is a natural thing.
This is a long read, and there is a lot of info in here. This will improve your game some what, I’d say its worth the read.
What is rapport?
I think one mistake a lot of people make is they think rapport is comfort and trust building, but in fact it’s a completely different thing it’s a technique (the most powerful) to build that comfort and trust. Hopefully if you know what rapport is and I wont have to explain it in detail. Basically its a state you get into with another person or people in which your conversation will bounce around and conversation is practically unlimited and you are receptive to each other. Look at two really good friends and notice how their body language, tonality and speech are very different and more relaxed in comparison to the conversation of two businessmen. Basically rapport is the process of entering another persons frame of the world, it established trust and general acceptance of suggestions.
Establishing rapport:
Rapport can happen naturally, it happens all the time, once commonalities are formed and more time spent with each other people will naturally fall into to rapport with each other. One of the most important core things in pick up and any sort of seduction, motivation etc is that rapport CAN BE MANIPULATED, very easily. Manipulation comes off modeling people in rapport. And understand what makes up rapport and how its communicated. The MAIN 3 ways of communication come from 3 things. Each having a different value in how much info is communicated through them.
• Body Language, more specifically Physiology (55%)
• Tonality (38%)
• Words (7%)
Everything you ever do to manipulate rapport is project or read through these three sources. So be aware of what they are and how to manipulate (Will get to that later!) For now just know that your Physiology is the greatest communicator of information from one person to another, now you know you can concentrate on that for whatever aspect of your game.
In NLP the process of rapport runs on four things aimed to establish similarity and reducing differences.
• Pacing
• Mirroring
• Matching
• Leading
Initially you want to pace them, you pace them by mirroring their BL/tone/words now you don’t need to mimic just mirror, to what degree is up to you, experiment. Just remember just like in pick up in general you have to attract (pace and mirror) before you can get to comfort trust building (matching) and only then can you go for the f-close (leading). So you pace, and mirror things from them then you will be matching, once your matching you can slowly start to lead (PMML). Say you two are sitting laid back chatting on a couch, and you move onto a more energetic conversation and you sit up straight, if she is in good rapport with you and you have pace, mirrored, matched and now lead. She should follow suit in some way or another (she may not sit up like you but alertness, breathing rate, leaning in etc) may change.
Establishing rapport through Physiology:
Now that ive told you what to do PMML, you only need to know what things to look out for in your and her physiology. If your still at the point in your game where your mind is racing with what to do? Or What routine? Don’t. I feel if you can do the body language and create rapport that’s 55% of the battle instead of the rapport you could possibly create through your words (only 7%) logic then shouts that master the body language first! So things to check with physiology are:
Posture – How is she sitting? What position is her head in, things like that. Again how detailed you want to go into this is up to you.
Gestures – What are the common hand, face, arm gestures she makes? Start to identify them and PMML. Also next time you are in what ever state you enjoy (say excitement) remember what gestures you used, so when you want to lead later on you can get her to start feeling excitement by her natural tendency to follow you when you are in rapport.
Facial expression – Again its always up to you how much you want to mirror these things, just be aware of it. Eye movement and blinking come under this category. If you notice she blinks a lot, blink a lot too! It will speed up the rapport.
Breathing Rhythms – Probably the hardest to mirror, you ever find yourself sleeping in the same bed as a woman and notice that your breathing rates are in unison? That’s rapport. This is possibly the strongest one, if you can lead her to change her breathing rate you can make her feel what ever state you want, be it excitement, relaxed or even horney.
Its important to know though that changing your physiology can change what state you are in. So say your laying back and your breathing is slow, your body will start to put you in the relaxed state. Where as if you sitting up straight and you breathing fast you will become more alert/nervous whatever. Next time you catch yourself in a state you want to have take note of how your breathing/standing/sitting etc. This is the basis of speed seduction, I for one am not versed in Speed seduction. So far rapport manipulation for me doesn’t fall into the zone of ‘unethical’ since it happens naturally all over the world to every single person in the world. Be mindful of your physiology next time you find yourself in a state of your choice and notice how you breath and sit and what not. Its pretty cool when you know you have COMPLETE control of all your emotions. I barely ever get angry now since I know what physiology makes me that way. Its very powerful for just general peace of mind, come from work and you exactly how to make yourself feel relaxed. You can pump yourself up etc.
Establishing Rapport through Tonality:
This is the second most important thing to master after physiology (38%) you will notice that all of these things from PMML and your physiology, tonality all happen naturally anyway, so don’t worry too much if your over-thinking these things will sort themselves out with time (a trust and comfort builder) In fact often I will forget about tonality and be totally concentrated on physiology, it doesn’t matter though because 99% of the world cant even create the rapport you can create as fast as you can, so its cool if you’re a little sloppy. So the Tonality things are:
Tone: - This is your pitch, I rarely bother to go into this much detail in mirroring but if she is particularly ‘toney’ I will. Generally a lower pitch is more seductive tone that will help get them to comply to your wishes, but if you stirring excitement raise the pitch etc.
Tempo: - General rule across the world of seduction is keep it slow. Again though feel free to play with her, slower tempo will convey relaxed state, get her to slow down.
Timbre: - This is the quality of your voice. This is not particularly useful in the rapport sense but it is extremely useful in attraction since a good timbre of voice is a signal of high amounts of testosterone and general manliness, perfect for amoging and general female to male attraction!
Volume: - Use your brains here, you can impact so many different thing by playing with your volume. Opening we all know you have to be loud, but you can lead her to feel a more intimate state by lowering your volume, say when you have her isolated. You should get the point now on how to use this stuff!
Again I rarely go into this much depth, but don’t think mastering all of this is not useful. If you can PMML ALL of these things (Physiology, tonality and words) perfectly you can make rapport and trust/comfort so fast its unbelievable and its really really strong too! Again this is what speed seduction is basically.
Establishing rapport through words:
This is extremely simple, you can pick this up anywhere in the world. The way people use their words in when they are long friends etc. Self explanatory:
Key words: - if you want you can start using key words she uses.
Favourite phrases: - I think the universal chick one has to be ‘OMG’
Common experiences & associations: - This is where most pick up guru’s teach us is the best place to build rapport, its true it does help make that CONCIOUS connection, but look at the rest of this post! There is so much more to it mostly UNCONCIOUS for her. The problem with successful people giving advice like that is most of the time they are not aware of some of the things that make them so successful they are natural at it. I can almost guarantee that Juggler PMML’s naturally with all these things.
Content chunks: - Chunking your conversation, chunking refers to the amount of detail in the conversation. Say your talking about Life and God, that would be HIGH chunking and if you were talking about prayer and life in a the electron transport chain of a human cell that would be LOW chunking. If shes high chunking, chunk high too! If shes low, chunk low. If you want her to chunk up ask her questions that force her to chunk up:
”So your pretty religious?”
”Yeah”
“Oh ok ive got a question for you, my buds and I have been questioning if God created the universe in one big go or did he do the big bang and allowed evolution to take course?”
“Blah blach chunking up”
Same applies if you want her to chunk down:
“So your pretty religious?”
“yeah”
“Ok so whats your opinion on gay marrige?”
”Blah blah chunk down”
BTW: STAY AWAY FROM THAT CONVERSATION THREAD its not that good unless you two have a common ground on it. Its not very safe this is just an example on how to chunk.
Just remember with chunking people start to get pissed when one person is high chunking in a convo and the other is low.
Kino and rapport:
Im not entirely sure if kino comes under rapport but it certainly helps gain what you want in the end (comfort and trust) so im just going to add this in. Most of you on this forum know this but:
When you touch a woman in a social setting where she thinks there is a possibility of a potential mate, every time you touch her she will release a chemical called Oxytocin (sp?) which will then mix with the oestrogen to produce a chemical that makes her horney! So the more you touch the better. Im not sure if the scientific names are entirely correct or if this actually happens but im pretty sure it does from experience, plus if its true in your head its true in your model of the world and therefore going to help your game!
Don’t forget you can PMML kino as well. She touches your arm you touch hers. Then you can lead to make her touch in better places such as your willy!
Advanced rapport building:
I don’t even go into this much detail, but if you really wana be the best this could be the next stage of your game. This will just generally help with building rapport and familiarity with you.
This is greatly based of NLP eye accessing que. Its very influential over other people so use with care. Be sensible. Note: No matter how much you manipulate your words or even hypnotise your target, you can never make her do something that is against her core beliefs and values. Changing those things is a far more advanced skill in NLP (that I happen to know how to do!) and require her to trust you completely and you would need 1 on 1 quite time for a good amount of time. Btw this is EXTREAMLY powerful inner game tool since you can rearrange your beliefs so that you can eliminate AA or whatever limiting belief you have. One day I will post that up in the next month.
Ok the basics of this advanced rapport building technique is that people experience life from your senses. But each person has a primary sense. And about 99% of the world have either:
• Visual
• Audio
• Kinaesthetic
You can tell whos what very simply:
Visual people:
• Tend to sit/stand with bodies erect and eyes up
• Generally quick speakers, distinct and high pitch
• Breaths from the top of their lungs
• Not easily distracted by noise.
• Have trouble remembering verbal commands! (sounds like a lot of the girls I sarge LOL)
• When remembering looks upwards. (right or left)
Auditory:
• Breathes from the diaphragm (middle of chest)
• Can easily repeat things back to you (mimics are usually auditory)
• Speak with a wide variety of tonal changes
• Looks left or right when thinking (Not left and up or left and down just flat)
• Typically talk to themselves and are easily distracted by noise.
Kinaesthetic:
• All pua’s should be able to fool anyone testing them if there kino!
• Breaths low in the stomach, usual can see the stomach going in and out when they breathe.
• Likes to stand close to people and make physical contact.
• Tend to move and speak very slowly with pauses.
• Likes to fidget and move around.
• Look down and to the right when they think.
• The learn best when walking around and or doing something.
Note: This will help you in all aspects of your life beside pick-up. Identify what you are and how you can then help yourself study etc. Like me im kino I learn while act it out or something, also why I learn best in the field.
Ok so now you’ve identified what your target is, you can now use words that appeal to her more to generate more interest and what not.
Visual:
Appears to me, Bird’s eye view, clear cut, hazy idea, in view of, looks like, make a scene, metal image, mental picture, minds eye, naked eye, see to it, showing off, sight for sore eyes, take a peak, tunnel vision, up front.
Basically anything that make you visualize or see things in the light of a visual person.
Auditory:
Afterthought, blabbermouth, clear as a whistle, call on, earful, give me your ear, heard voices, hidden message, hold your tongue, idle talk, keynote speaker, loud and clear, manner of speaking, tattle-tale, to tell the truth, tongue-tied, tune in/out, unheard of, well informed, word.
Just call on as many hidden messages that you clearly say in order to make your auditory person tune in.
Kinaesthetic:
All washed up, boils down to, chip off the old block, come to grips, control yourself, cool, calm, collected, firm, get a load of this, get the drift, hand in hand, hang in there, hold it/on, know-how, pull some string, pulling your leg, sharp, slipped my mind, smooth operator, so-so, stiff upper lip, shit all over, touching.
Once you embrace the concrete basics of this it will boil down to super simple sentences you can construct to easily get the attention of your kino person.
Ok guys that’s all I got for now, I hope you have learnt a lot, I certainly refreshed my memory from what I learned over the last two years. If you want to know more about NLP and how it can help your inner game feel free to contact me. I have a lot of free time now so I will be posting more stuff on eliminating beliefs and shit like that. But I can even help with getting rid of phobias and really bad memories. I hope this opens your eyes for some of you to the power of NLP and how if used correctly it can be very effective on not only your target but more importantly you. Now you are aware of how you communicate with someone you can adjust your physiology, tone whatever so it makes you more alpha. Also feel free to PM me if you wana know what physiology and shit I create to get in a certain state. Ive got a few but I have forgotten most since I haven’t been practicing this much in the last 2 years since I learned it.
You good friend, Chikito.
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