| Offline | | MPUA Forum Zealot | Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2012 9:26 pm Posts: 326 | DAY GAME 16/04/2015
Armed with my peacock jacket, the focuses highlighted above and an excellent youtube video advising how to give compliments, I was ready to hit the town once more, grab a nice strong black coffee and croissant, enjoy the sunshine and approach beautiful women.
#APPROACH 1: The Swansea Nightmare
So I saw two HBs 9/10 walking, one was brunette one was blonde. The blonde was wearing black jumper and black jeans that I actually thought was a little tacky but she also had a French logo across her jumper, giving me something to use:
ME: Excuse me [D'OH], I just have to say I absolutely love the fact you've got French writing on you...
HER: ...Oh, thank you...
ME (walking backwards at her pace, slowly turning around): ...Not like me, I'm just a plain old boring Englishman.
HER: Haha.
As we are exchanging glances and I'm looking at this highly beautiful and sincere face, I'm beginning to wonder ... is this actually happening? My heart begins to beat faster and then...I notice the group of people behind her start to swarm together like a herd of broody hens and as I realise she is with her family I'm starting to wonder if first I have to marry the family to get with the girl...
ME:...so what are you up to?
The bee's hive behind us start to change direction headed over to a lovely eaterie with a pleasant view that I've been to myself on occasion.
HER: Oh, not much just on an outing with my family.
Pressure kicks in and I'm resorting to small talk, ok what to do? What to do? I know: I'll try the "take me to location XYZ" routine...
ME: Do you happen to know where XYZ is?
HER: Oh no, I'm not from around here.
Oh dear, botched attempt at one of my few useful routines in this scenario, surrounded by a herd of fat ugly chavs and the infamous small talk trap is lurking...
ME: Soo...where you from?
HER: Swansea.
ME (not sure if I heard right): Swansea?
Her friend shouts over:
HER FRIEND: Hey come over this way, we're thinking of eating here.
I'm considering calling it quits at this point and looking for a tactile method of retreating, dignity in tact but her friend offers no such solution.
HER FRIEND looking at me, negative attitude: She's not interested!? ... She has a boyfriend!?
As I'm walking past her friend I can see the ring of white between her red lips and fake tan and I'm just glad this girl isn't the one I chose to approach.
ME trying to keep my cool, keeping her eye contact, tilting my chin up: Oh...right...
ME: what I was tempted to say condescendingly, but thought better of: Ok, don't be upset that I didn't approach you, you're hot too.
When I went for my costa coffee and baguette I was tempted to approach a girl on the table across the room, but glad that I decided against when I saw her boyfriend walking past. That said I had the perfect line to use on the waitress, obviously new, conscientiously and diligently putting away all the used cups and sweeping all the nooks and crannies. Now her, I SHOULD have approached.
Outside, on the way to one of my preferred pick-up locations, the nearby shopping mall I felt the presence
of someone walking behind me. I look behind, HB 7/10. Ok she hasn't noticed my subtle glance, so I make another glance to gauge if there's anything about her I can use to approach with. Does that jumper have teddy bears? No...wait...she has a jumper with hearts on ... good enough:
ME: Hey, I like the style...the hearts...very romantic.
HER: Huh...oooh! Thank you!
ME (awkward part kicks in): Sooo what you doing?
HER: Oh, I'm going to the bank.
ME: Oh, you're going to the bank?
HER: Yes, the bank.
ME: *awkwardly shuffling away like nothing has happened*
Oh well, she seemed to like the opener at least. Next stop, outside the shopping mall. I'm looking around but I'm not seeing anyone that's very approachable. I walk around a bit. I see a HB 6/10 from a distance she looks a 7 and she is kind of turned away at a side angle from me. She's got a pretty bland jacket but scarlet red hair and colourful indian designs on her trousers. The kind made from a thin fabric but I can't remember what they're called. They're kind of like pyjama trousers and as I get closer she's got a scarf underneath her jacket. Ok, time to cut to the chase...
ME: Hey I'm liking the colours...
HER (confused glance and saying very little):...Huh?...
ME: I'm liking the colours...very vibrant...
HER (confused glance/icy cold stare):....
ME: I said I'm liking the colours. Very vibrant personal touch.
Ok, I can see now that her face is coated in thick layers of make-up to cover up her acne scars. I'm beginning to feel repulsed on multiple sensory levels: physical and emotional.
ME thumbs pointing towards my own jacket: Great minds think alike, right?
HER: ...
ME: Ok, I'm gonna go now...awkward!
So no numbers, no dates far. But on the plus side I've refined my approach a little, did what I said I was gonna do and mix up direct with indirect. Also took on board chocolate PUAs advice and popped on something a little peacocky. I can't say I don't have second thoughts about doing this, but it got a compliment, so I can't have looked that freaky, even if the guy was trying to sell me something! I'm thinking, I'm just gonna go back home at this point but if I see an good looking set that is logistically approachable on the way back I'll make a move...and I do.
I see two girls, HB 7 and HB 6. The HB 7 has a little dog, green hair and colourful clothes. HB 6 has a pink t-shirt, medium-length blonde hair and carrying a little bit of weight, but it's no biggie. As I get closer, I get closer, I can see only some of her hair is green. As I get even closer I can see she has dark hair and a green beret, not green hair. HB 7 is a little freckly but still cute. Ok, so at this point, I'm moving in, possibly taking the girls by surprise, I'm not really sure...
ME (getting down low to pet the dog, but keeping eye contact with the girls): Such a cute dog...and what a great style, all those colours. Totally vivacious.
HB 6 & 7 (can't really remember what they say): Oh, thank you...I like you're style too.
ME (petting the dog I can see they've got converse all stars, and the HB7 has some of those massive ear rings that I personally don't like): So what are you girls, skaters?
HB 6: No! What makes you think that?
ME: Oh, I don't know just the converse chuck taylors?
HB 6: Oh! Well, I guess you could kinda call us skaters but we're not really. We're all about the vans and [insert brand I haven't heard of]
ME: Huh? oh right, yeah the vans, the vans.
awkward silence
ME: ...soo, what's his name?
HB 6: He? It's a she!
ME: ...Aah, yeah I can see now [D'OH]
awkward silence
HB 7: ...Well, her name's Rosie.
ME: Ah, awesome. Yeah, really cute dog...
HB 7: Umm...how far back did you actually see the dog from?
ME (trying to be smooth):Oh, just saw him back there and, you know how it is: I simply HAD to stop and say what a cute dog ... listen can I ask you girls what you're doing? Are you in a bit of a rush...?
HB 6 & 7: ...Well, kinda ... we're headed to the train station but we've gotta minute...
Now I've got a few options available, I can use the *can you show me XYZ routine* but they're headed to the train station and I actually make the mistake at this point of looking in that direction.
Alternatively, I can dig straight in to an opinion opener, but I don't really see it as necessary when we are already making some convo and I can use that at a later point anyway.
Similarly, I don't want to ask their number because it's too direct PLUS it's wasting time if I can go on a date right now.
So I ask her if she want's to go grab a coffee...
HB 7: Well we could but we're kinda in a rush ...
ok, something I should have considered
...plus we've got the dog anyway, so we can't...
another thing I should have considered, although I could have been like..."ice cream?" "Hot dog stand?" If i'd been thinking on my feet...
ME: Ahhh...yeah...
HB 6: ...Sorry, I'm a little confused which one of us are you actually hitting on?
ME trying to think how to respond: ...
HB 7 filling in awkward silence: ...Umm...well I actually have a boyfriend, so...
ME: Ahh, I see.
HB 6: ...
ME: ...Ok, cool, so uh how long have you had it for?
HB 6: What, the boyfriend or the dog?
ALL OF US, LAUGHING, THEN ANOTHER PREGNANT PAUSE
HB 7: Well, 3 years, actually...
ME (shuffling away): Ah, I see. Well, anyway that's nice, and uh, nice to speak to you and, uh...I have to go, bye,
HBS 6 & 7: Bye.
SELF-ANALYSIS:
- Need to think quicker on my toes with my responses,
- Need to navigate the shit tests a bit quicker,
- Need to get more interesting opinion openers (still!)
Last edited by JHA91 on Thu Apr 16, 2015 6:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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