Hello.

I was after a girl for some time. She knew I was intersted but friendzoned me and we became very close friends. A few months ago she got a bf.

Some days ago she called me to hang out and we went for a seaside stroll and a snack. When we were finishing the snack she mentioned her bf was texting he wanted to come along but she was kinda upset with him, ending with "you're cool with that, right?" Of course I was not cool with it, and told her precisely that. When she said that was uncool and that she thought I was over her I told her something like "I'm over you and I'm big enough to admit defeat but I sure as hell won't hang out with guy who beat me. It's a matter of pride and principle." She argued I was being uncool and that she wanted us to meet. I replied with something like "I don't care. You made a choice, and every choice has consequences. You of all people should understand that. Imagine things were the other way around and put yourself in my place. Can you honestly say you would do things diferently?". I said this because she is the kind of girl who can't stand to see an ex with someone else.

I know this is not what I should have done. I know there are all sorts of benefits in being friends with the guy. Prove I did not need her, AMOG the other guy, gain some insight on vulnerabilities on their relation, undermine it. But I simply don't want to do it and at least this way I showed I'm not going to be her lapdog doing what the fuck she wants. If I don't have my way, she sure as hell won't have hers. And it probably did not went bad since we were laughing and having fun 5 minutes after that and she texted me the next day.

Any thoughts? What do I do if she brings it up again?

Dude, you're not Machiavelli, screw that. I say you did the right thing. You stood up for what you think, and that's how it should be.

Then again, the fact that you don't want to meet the boyfriend shows that you have some sort of ulterior motive behind your friendship with her, and she knows that. Manage the case keeping that in mind.

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I like your style, although I don't necessarily agree with it.

Here's what I don't get though, you seem to have your shit together judging by the way you talked to her, but why are you agreeing to be her friend and then showing a hidden agenda?
For some reason she isn't into you like that, and I mean sure some people escaped the friendzone at some point in their lives but the time and effort you need to put into that simply isn't worth it.

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Since you accepted her friend zoning by being complacent you need to embrace it with no ulterior motives and just be her friend. Hang out with her, her BF and better yet, her girlfriends. Hook up with one, let her hear about you in a sexual context thru her friend...maybe something will happen with her in the future. If not she got you something anyway

If she's friendzoned you ---- and she's with another guy ---- I don't know why you're hanging out with her to begin with...

Other girls are out there... Ones who are single and interested.

So many other girls out there man...as Charles said. Way too much to have your pride hurt over some girl. Simple fact, if you had a female option that was better than her you wouldn't care. And if you had 5 girls who were better than her..you really really won't care. If you had a hotter girl heck you'd be suggesting double dates and shit just to show off. I think being friend zoned is just code for I don't have better options. Fix that and fuck the pride stuff. It's ONE girl. If your pride is hurting or you feel like you lost...you don't have better options.

So many out there... yeah, once I leave town. This is one of these places where if you shoot someone the population drops by some 0.3%. Literally. Bet you ass I have very few options. It's pretty much her, a couple eastern european imigrants who are pretty on the eyes but can barely put two words together and a lot of very sweet, wide-boned and utterly unintersting country girls.
Which is also why I hang out with her. In a place full of simpletons she is the one who is smoking hot, AND intelligent, funny, charismatic and the one you can count on. Besides we had great chemestry since we met. She is the one who calls and cheers me up when I have trouble at work. She is the one who comes by when I am sick. So, to answer someone's question, I am glad I have such a caring friend who has had my back more than once. We have been best friends for years. But of course I want more, every guy in town wants. Imagine you are on a used car lot. You have a 88 Silverado, a 92 Ram (crappy ones, not hot rods) and a brand new F150 Raptor. Yeah.
I am the first to admit she is far from perfect, but is by far the best option available. And without other options I'll have to work with what I have, that's why I will keep hanging with her and shaking that tree until something falls.

Well you got some honesty to you. Which will be helpful at times. It does sound like you have an ulterior motive with this girl. You probably still like her, you are spending too much time with her. You should probably sprinkle your availability with her. Doesn't mean cut all contact but you should go after other girls in the meantime.

I always keep tension with my friends that are girls, even if I am not attracted to them.

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Sounds great!

You speak as if you have absolutely no choice but to hang out with this girl. You made a decision to keep being her friend, so you should act like one. Instead you are acting like a woman scorned. Be a man and shake his hand or be a man and cut the friendship.

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Nothing about this describes someone who you could consider your " Friend". From the looks of this post you haven't accepted defeat, you're just hanging around her waiting for a moment to potentially get with her which will NEVER happen at this rate.

You're were being very uncool and I'll tell you why.

Wouldn't you want to learn from the guy who managed to beat you out? I think theres a lot of information there that you denied yourself which is why you're still hanging around some chick you secret want to be with.

You're not her "friend" , you just settled for platonic interaction because it was all you could get.

Why would you need to show your FRIEND you're not their lapdog and if you don't get your way they don't get theres? You sound bitter.

But the best part is you don't even see that you're being used for validation attention. This is NOT a friendship. She's using you as an orbiter for attention and you're using her for... I'm not sure.

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Actually Eddie if you read his layer posts it sounds like she has done stuff and been there for him.

Theres a difference between being a girl's orbiter and being a friend. If she offers you something she's a friend. If she offers you nothing and you're just trying to please her to one day sleep with her, you're an orbiter. From what you've said, sounds like she's your friend (as you said she's been there for you). Dont take it personally if she doesnt want to be with you romantically. Shit is weird. Maybe she wants a less alpha guy. Maybe she wants a guy she has more in common with. Maybe she is not physically attracted to your type or for whatever reason doesn't see you that way. It's not a losing thing if a girl doesn't like you. That's a shitty mentality and means you dont have confidence in yourself. If you have a harvard doctorate and you apply for a job as a walmart cashier, you may not get the job. It doesnt mean you're any less than the high school dropout who got the job, you were OVERQUALIFIED, or walmart just didnt see you as being a good fit. Rejection like this shouldnt bother you. And if it does, it's a sign you need to gain abundance in your life and confidence that it means nothing bad or lesser about you. You can date her, and as most relationships do, shit can go wrong. Then are you ready to lose that friend who is there for you when you're sick for a few months of pussy?

Cut her off, because your self worth is so low that you cant be around a chick who doesnt want your cock. Or keep her as a friend, accept it doesnt mean shit about you being lower than her bf, and support her as she does you. It's one girl. And if you can't accept a girl not choosing you and feel the need to run from that it's your choice. But you're just protecting a weak self esteem. And doing that will just feed into negative beliefs about yourself and prevent you from getting girls on her level anyway.

I say fuck the fatties I like to call them slump busters, and you are in a slump my friend (baseball jargon). If she so happens to indirectly find out about it , she may wonder what they have that she doesn't that made you want to bang them instead of her all of a sudden. But I highly doubt there are only fat country girls, europeans, and ONE hot girl in your town. I live in a small town of about 20,000 with several smaller towns surrounding it. Probably about 35-40 thousand in my county. And there are PLENTY of good looking girls. Sounds to me like you're just too hung up on this one girl. Plus big girls are very appreciative of the lay

Don't do it!

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

What were you even doing hanging out with her. Go find someone who's interested. Total waste of time.