^ I really don't give a crap about cheating if we're not dating any more. If you told me my ex-girlfriend cheated on me last year, I wouldn't really care. We're already over.
This concern about what she did in the past, instead of what's between the two of you, seems petty and controlling. About half of the girls I've ever dated, had a boyfriend when we first hooked up. I guess it's a fair point that I don't do exclusivity, but that's really on my end. Most of the these girls don't end up banging or dating other guys while she's seeing me. And that's even with the option of doing so. How much less would it be, if we were agreed on exclusivity?

This is about like me being worried over getting laid off. I never am. I'm in the top tier in my division. My employer would be nuts to lay me off. And if they do, oh well. I have a pile of contacts and I would have a similar job, at similar pay within weeks.

There is nothing I can do to ensure no girl will ever cheat on me. I can't control another person.

Serious question: Can you ID when a girl likes her boyfriend and when she doesn't? I only think about 1/5 of girls with "boyfriends" are actually off limits(because she's really into him).

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RSDTyler

LOL there really is no more point to respond to you man. We're obviously on vastly different pages of this issue.
For me personally, the only girls with boyfriends that are off limits would be guys I know directly. As far as being able to tell if they're into their boyfriends or not. I could care less if I'm just looking for a ONS. But my whole point is if a girl is willing to cheat on her Bf then why would I want to date her?

I was agreeing with your first paragraph but then reread it and kinda confused. Why did the girls not date/see other guys? What kept them from taking advantage of their options?

True, you cant keep someone from cheating. I've just heard the whole "man I pulled her from her bf!" then months later "oh she's fucking some other dude" thing too much.

Most did, and some stayed with the boyfriend while we were seeing each other.
Why didn't they? I don't know. Most of them just told me that they didn't feel like seeing someone else.

She usually tells me at least once a month that she's not seeing anyone else. In fairness, though I tell every single girl there is zero chance of a future between us, I do suspect they're hoping to loop me into that. So they could be only seeing me because she's thinking of me as her current or future boyfriend, and could also just be lying to make me admire her loyalty or something. It's misreading me badly if so.

But my opinion on exactly why is slightly divergent from the above paragraph. I think I correctly manage her intellectual expectations(she knows we'll never be together long-term). But she feels like we're a couple. And so she follows her feelings, even if she intellectually knows it isn't and it will never happen.

Keep in mind, I manage my FWBs totally different than the community suggestion(which in my opinion is more FB advice). I see them twice a week, and I'm very affectionate with them. We don't just fuck. We actually hang out, and go on dates. And I've never held back from saying things like "I love you". I basically run two non-exclusive GFs at a time.
I don't really see it any more often than "She suddenly went black" or, "said she needed time to herself". All of us here, have had nothing but relationships that ended, unless someone's married that I'm not aware of.

So yeah, I expect either Steve will get bored with her and move on, or she'll get bored with Steve and start fucking someone else(before dumping him). But that won't happen until after she and Steve have no future anyway. I do expect it to end. Just as I expect most relationships to end. It's a safe bet on average.

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RSDTyler

I have to say I completely agree with everything Versalis is saying here.

Of course I don't expect it to last forever, relationships don't (if we even get that far) - yes either I or she will get bored. This is what happens.

However if we do get together & it turns so bad that she loses interest and decides she needs to "cheat" on me then I don't care. It's already over. It's already too late.

Also I think everyone is missing the point that it wasn't really a relationship in the normal sense, it was very casual and she didn't really have any deep connection with him. It was most likely that she just needed to get laid maybe, who doesn't? Then she found me, someone she does have a deeper connection with & so she's got rid of the old guy. She was not married or anything like that so I personally don't see it as cheating in the normal sense.

I would say most girls have cheated at some point in there lives, for whatever reason. Who cares? We can't control what other people do, only our own actions. So I will do the best I can with my own actions. If she feels the need to find someone else then I have not done my job properly and I accept that.

I can sit and think about her past all I want, it doesn't change anything. I am just thinking in the present moment - and that is she wants me, she has just got rid of her "boyfriend" - going back over the past and over thinking really isn't going to get me anywhere. I'm in this situation because of my actions and obviously being a better prospect than her previous guy.

We all shop around, if we get together and a few months down the line I get a bit bored and another girl comes along then I may well do the same thing... I think everyone would.

Okay..she is definitely playing games...

She flaked on me yesterday. She was supposed to be coming over to my place but she said that she needed to be on her own as her ex boyfriend (the one she was in a serious 5 year + relationship with) had turned up where she lives. There is surely no way he would know where she lived so she must have arranged something, I can tell she is not being honest about something.

It seems she moved away about 6 months ago to get away as he cheated on her a lot and really hurt her. After what she has told me about him I honestly can't see anything happening between them so that doesn't really bother me.

Apparently it messed her head up and she was really upset. So she didn't want to see me, but spend time with her girl mates.

Later on in the evening we spoke briefly (I was being a bit off with her) and she told me she wanted to give it a go between us two, if I still wanted to see her. I told her I was unsure of what I wanted at that point, my head was all over the place.

So whoever has said she likes to play games and loves drama, well... you are spot on.

What do you guys make of that? How do I play it?
Is it just a test?

Listen whatever we say you are going to do whatever you feel like doing, this has already been established. Maybe she likes drama, maybe her ex just decided to come around and she just wanted to see him for old times sake. Who knows? You are going to try dating her regardless, just don't be to needy, establish boundaries, and know this probably isn't going to last for the long haul. If she says she is hanging out with her ex again, tell her to have a ball and to call you when she is free.

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pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

She lied to her bf, now she is lying to you. Hence you shouldnt wife her. So the ex came over, and she fucked or at least fooled around. Most likely fucked. If you think she invited her ex over and played scrabble... Act non needy, fuck her and keep her at that level.

Yep! Never trust a big butt and a smile! She's POISON!


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If you want to go forward with this chick, just escalate to the close when you pul her into a sex location. You've already been kissing a lot and she says she enjoys it. Just kiss her once before the pull to set a precedent, but don't continue to make out for extended periods of time as you are just validating her. Escalate to the close one you're in a sex location, if she resists, pull back and build some more comfort but don't continue to make out, then try again.

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Yes, it's entirely a test. Go for what you want. As you were saying, you're not even looking for her to be your girlfriend. This is mostly a non-issue.
The key to dating girls like this is to enjoy the ups and downs, let yourself feel them but ultimately remain in control of your emotions. If need be, you should be able to snap yourself out of it.

This is probably the first time in 1,000+ posts I've recommended an RSD video, but Julien does a really good job of explaining how to manage drama.

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RSDTyler

The cool thing about dating girls like these...is that they are freaks in the bedroom

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In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

The cool thing about dating girls like these...is that they are freaks in the bedroom [/quote]



Absolutely correct.