Don't tell me you're going for it already....

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In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

Congrats. Now you have a chick who will probably do the same to you. This is like breaking in someone's house, going to their toilet and stealing a pile of shit. All you did was take his shit off his hands. Now she's your problem.

I'm really lost on all of the stuff in this thread that isn't from Steve.

This is how many women handle their dating life. I'm floored that you guys think that all girls go around being single by choice. Some girls are not ok being single. Ever. She stays with the boyfriend she doesn't really like until she finds a replacement. The only way she finds herself single is if he dumps her. At which point she immediately starts "dating" one of her old male friends for the time being.
If she gets sick of him, they stay together until she has his replacement %100 lined up(and usually a second backup for in case the new guy withdraws). It's not like this type of girl is uncommon, and I just have no idea how it can be so poorly diagnosed.

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RSDTyler

Haha, wow. Some of your responses amaze me. Do you just like to see guys fail so you can throw some bullshit advise their way because you obviously know women so well?

Thanks Versalis, I couldn't agree more. It's all a competition at the end of the day, you've just got to come out as the winner or of course you can just give up (like a lot suggested) . Good job I didn't take that advice. Instead I done what most men would and won her over.

Ever thought a girl might cheat because the guy is inadequate? Maybe he was too needy. Who knows. But I will be a guy she doesn't feel the need to cheat on.

And no, we're not together. I'm not a teenager, it doesn't work like that. I don't see the point in rushing.

Give me a fuckin' break bro. You think we just don't want to see him get a girl? We're not giving him shit because she's "shopping around" so-to-speak. It's because she's cheating on her current BF. There's quite a difference between keeping your eye open for a better situation and fucking other guys as a trial run. It's naive at best to think she won't do the same to him. And when the hell did anyone in this thread say they thought girls go around being single by choice? You're trying to read between the lines of all of our responses, but you know what? There's nothing but space there. I can do that too, so your validating this guys decision to possibly date a PROVEN cheater?

Nice job Steve. Just to clarify; even though my responses were somewhat negative I and probably the others were just giving the best advice possible based on the limited amount of information and on our own experience. Every situation is different and at the end of the day I would trust my gut (which you did) since you are the one that has to live with the decisions you make. Hope it goes well for you moving forward.

Why she did not just dump him, if he is inadequate?
not critizing you, but really would love to hear the answer

I'm saying that you're giving shit advice. She's not cheating, and you clearly don't know the difference between girls who cheat and girls who are relationship dependent. This girl already didn't consider herself in a relationship with the last guy. She was already lost. When a girl is over you, it's not cheating. Your relationship was already dead, whether you realized it or not.

A girl who cheats, still wants to be with you. Still cares about you. She is just susceptible to indulging in her momentary desires and struggles to keep things in context.
So when you say "She'll do it to you too". You're only part right. If she gets bored with Steve and wants to break up - yes, she probably will. And if she doesn't get bored, she's at no higher risk of cheating than any other woman.

Why would I even want a woman who "doesn't cheat" once she's sick of me? I can't even figure out how that benefits me. How is it better if she fucks some guy once or twice and then breaks up with me, over breaking up a whole week earlier and then goes off to fuck the same dude. Why do I possibly care about this?
I already covered this. She's relationship dependent. She has to jump from one guy to the next, because she hates being single. So she stays with the boring guy until she can trade up to the better one.

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RSDTyler

I guess you're just ONLY one who doesn't give shit advice Literally everyone is telling him the same thing except you dude.


Maybe to HER, its not cheating because SHE'S over you. Relationships are two way streets bro, why would you want a girl who can't be honest about her feelings?
My only answer to this is why would want a woman who "DOES cheat" when she's over you?
You may not, but seeing as Steve is the prospective NEW Bf, he should care. I'm not necessarily saying one situation is better than the other, however, the girl who breaks it off with her old bf FIRST at least has some integrity and honesty. That's the point you clearly missed.

Lol
Wow.
This is almost a "Kid's say the darndest things" quality line.

Expecting a woman to be upfront and direct about this stuff is something that almost no woman does.
Doesn't matter. I don't care one way or the other. And I disagree that it's cheating. Once she's decided to end it, it was already over. Sometimes you mutually break up. Mostly, one person decides it is over. You do not require group consensus.
No, she doesn't.
And also, I don't care, as I'm no longer dating her. It's completely irrelevant to anything.

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RSDTyler

OK Bill Cosby, I'm not disagreeing that most women aren't like this, but a high quality woman you'd want to be in an LTR with most certainly would.
We can agree to disagree here then. Typically, when one person decides it's over they have the courtesy to tell that person, "Hey this isn't working, I think we should see other people."
Good insight, please expand how a women being open and honest isn't better for LTR?
Lol man you're still missing the point, Steve is not in the shoes of the person getting dumped. As being the next guy, it's my opinion he absolutely should give a shit. It's relevant to Steve, not necessarily the other guy.

Relationship dependence or not, this is spot-fucking-on.

Agree with Rchter. At the end of the day, chick hooked up with you when she had a bf. And maybe she was over it in her head so its justifiable. But guess what, what's the line where her rationalization that it's ok to cheat starts? For you it's gonna be "well I just didnt trust him" or "I felt like he didnt care enough" so its ok. It's a slippery slope. Go alpha, she'll rationalize its ok because you didnt care. Go nice, she'll rationalize you're too nice. Go in between, she'll go for an extreme nice guy or alpha. Once she shows she can rationalize its ok, there's really not something you can be to prevent it.

Let's not go around giving women passes for childish shit. She can be single if the relationship sucks. She can tell a guy she's lost feelings and move on. And even if you say no she can't....if she's that emotionally weak, what's gonna happen if she gets seduced? Can't have it both ways. If she's emotionally driven over logic and integrity, then when someone else comes along the emotion is gonna win. Cant be like "she's so emotionally weak she cant be single, but if she gets seduced she's strong enough to fight it."
This is rationalization. What is going to keep this girl from cheating on you? Let's say you're perfect, she meets a guy on the side who wants to fuck. Someone who cheats never thinks they're gonna get caught so let's not use the "she'll be too afraid to lose me because I'm great" thing. What stops someone from going further comes down to if they can justify it and live with it afterwards. She has shown she can. She has shown she can hook up with you and go back to her bf. So if you think her cheating comes down to whether she was satisfied, it's way less that and more her. It always comes down to the chick and how she feels about herself. The scary thing is you wont know if she is cheating so its moot.

But one last question...how much respect can she ever have for you, how non needy can you ever be, when she knows you took her and she was cheating? How "high value" can you ever be to her, when she knows if you go bf gf, you're putting aside obvious trust issues...FOR HER? See, it's a catch 22, as you said...you WON her. So how non needy can you ever be?

I used to mess with this married chick who talked abt her boring husband. And you know why we never went further? Because I knew that the moment I accepted a girl who had shown me she could be dishonest, I couldnt pretend to have better options.

I walked into that one
It's not really about quality. It's about thought process. What you're describing is a very logical, unemotional woman. These women exist, but they aren't usually very feminine.
I only want to be with a chick who wants me. This stuff only comes up when she doesn't want me anymore. At which point, I don't care. So long as we are working, she's no more likely to cheat than any other woman.
That's why this stuff doesn't matter. He will only encounter this problem IF their relationship was already failing. If it doesn't fail, he won't. And if it does, I don't see how it matters.

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RSDTyler

It doesn't matter to you because you don't see it as cheating. And that's really the fundamental difference here. I think if Steve wants this girl to be a FWB then it truly doesn't matter to me. I just believe it absolutely matters in a LTR. Just my opinion. Thought-provoking thread nonetheless.