Hello,

I was posting on this forum earlier how this relationship started. If you are interested you can take a look:
she-s-dating-another-guy-vt164921.html

Now, almost a year has passed and this relationship grow even tho it is LDR. We managed to see each other every moth or two. Every time we went somewhere new (even abroad for a new year). It has some up and downs but nothing serious.


Till now. My guts telling me something is not right.
I'm going to see her in 3-4 days (for a whole summer), we were planing this for past two months. Last month she came to visit me and it was really great 8-9 days. I told her I will come after jun 20th, but something came up and i had to reschedule for July 5th.

Few days ago she started to busting my balls. At the beginning she was "easy" on me, like "why don't you text me more often", "seduce me", "you have to try your best while you are not here" "am I like a job to you" and things like that. I tried to calm things up and started to text her regularly with some sweet messages. It was good for some time.
But I feel she doesn't respond like it should. On Tursday she wrote me on SPAM that some other guy asked her out to the concert. And she told me he was hitting on her. She told me that she is so bored and would like to go to have some fun. Ofc I wen AFC and started feel nervous about that and she responded very badly on that.
At the end she told me that she may not go, but if I care for her I would let her to choose on her own will.

I seid ok, and have fun.

Later I found out she was on the concert, idk with whom tho.

Now I have a feeling shes playing some mind games with me, either she is cheating or
giving me hard time. (I suspect mostly because I was late 2 weeks , and shes abusing me cos of that).

Tonight we chatted on SPAM and suddenly she told me she has to go.
"To get ready" (all dressed up and stuff)

I asked, are you going somewhere?

she answered: "stupid question" and "cya"

I seid ok, cya.


And that's it:

I would like to not lose this girl, everything started serious. We had some future plans. She's 31 and I am 35 we are not teenagers. Btw when we are together everything is smooth and nice... problems usualy start around her period when we are apart.

My question is does the girls cheat when that tell you things like that? I assume if she's cheating she wouldn't give me a hint. And I want to mention one more time I treat her right, doing lots of stuff for her, sex is great and everything is good when we are together. Last "together" was month ago.

Sorry for wall of text. Please share some wisdom, I know u have it

best
Krv

A woman will not leave you until she has another guys in most situations. If she is looking, it may be too late. I do not want to preach about the 'Game' aspect of running a LDR. I will say this, if you fear her leaving, could you live with that fear? If she can spend the summer with you and she focuses on you only and no other guy, then that is cool. But where is it going? If you are not moving to make this into something, you are keeping her just to keep her, and she will be able to tell.

Most often, your gut is right my friend. I hope you are not too attached.

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You're not making her feel special, clearly. She wants to be pursued a bit, up to you if that's how you want to roll or not.

To be honest, yes, women tell you things like that when they cheat or plan to. For eg, there was a married woman I was sleeping with (didn't know she was married) who told her husband he needs to seduce her while we were messing around. I guess they do it to rationalize to themselves that they're giving the bf/husband a chance to "save" the relationship.

Sounds bad...I'm sure she went with him or at least met up with him.
Nebular posted the above quote in your prior thread and I 100% agree with him. Reading that thread, this girl didn't sound like rs material tbh. Girls who can seriously date multiple guys, typically get used to the constant validation by SOME man so if thing are lacking on your side, they find it somewhere else. Doesn't sound like you did bad here, you just chose a girl who was a cheating risk.

It's easier to say this than to do it, but you have to not care. If she is the kind of girl who would cheat on you, then who cares about her anyway. You have to respect yourself more than that man.

Thank you guys for you sincere and kind answers.

I agree that if she act on some kind of cheating while I'm almost there, then she doesn't deserve anything. I'll just say good by and good luck.

What do you think, should I try to win her back now, with care and flirty messages or I just go dark till I get there? I will be in her town in 3 days.

best
Ognjen

Yep - previous posters have it mostly right here.

She's not getting what she needs from you... And if you're only seeing her every month or two it's doubtful you can fill that void without another guy filling it for you... but you know her best.

If you've got a bad gut feeling about what she's doing over there, you're probably right - trust your gut...

So the solution: Deal with it, and start competing for your own girlfriend... Make more of an effort... OR stop driving yourself crazy, and find someone local. Tough pill to swallow, I know (been there) - but if every single day you're going to be sitting there wondering if another guy is balls deep in her, then that's a shitty way to live.