Hello guys, I will try to describe the situation as closely a possible in order you to help me.

Girl:
She’s HB9, 30 years old, she’s a doctor. Very charismatic, artistic personality, witty, confident and independent, sexual and socially intelligent. She’s living and working in my hometown but she was born and raised in the city I was living and going on vacation every summer (in another country).That's our big connection. I know that shes home sick and lonely ( her own words).

Me:
I’m AFC, 34 years old, graphic artist/ designer, hopefully entrepreneur soon - I’m strongley focused on my career SPAM so didn’t gamed lots of girls lately but I had some flicks here and there. Also didn’t have committed relationship in quite some time. I discovered community maybe 6 months ago and I was surprised how much I didn't know about relationships and women in general and how much of an AFC I was in past. Now I’m trying to learn as much as I can and to apply that in real situations.

Situation:
We were introduced by mutual friends (mainly because I have strong connection with the city she is originally from, I was li
ving there for several years have bunch of friends and going back every year)... I was confident and bit of mysterious and at the end of the evening I got her phone and told that I will call her to hang out.
Few days after we had our first date, everything went smooth and at the end we were making out in my car till 3 AM, I felt we have good connection.
Then I made mistake, I called her next day to see if she has plans for a weekend (I knew shes going on trip but anyways). Then I decided to stay cool and not calling her next few days. Next week she sent me a text and we hook up, this time we ended up having sex at my place. Again, it was very good.
Then again I pussied out and called her at weekend even though I knew shes going to be on a trip in another town. She was pretty cold that time and she told me to call on monday. I did it sent her text on monday and arranged date on wednesday.
When I picked her up on wednesday she was extremly nervous/indisposed with negative body lenguage and she arrogantly said shes going to ruin my night, I kept my cool and told her no way, you are not. We went out of the town in the old hunting cottage on the hills, it was raining and dark but it was romantic we had fun and she said that I made her night already. Later on we went at my place. She told me that shes dating other guy/guys besides me and asked if that's ok with me (idk if that's true or test). Again I played cool and told her that doesn't bothers me (the truth is it really doesn't).She then told me: That guy is far away and shes lonely here but she enjoys my attention and affection to her. After that the rest of the night went good we was talking alot (I never mention her situation with other men or what we are) and we had fun ( she had a period so we couldn’t have sex, just heavy makeout and some oral sex)...She slept over at my place and I drive her back to hers in the morning cos she was going on the work early. That was last wednesday, I didn't texted or called since then.

Problem:
I would like to turn the tide here, to get her chasing me a bit more/ invest more. I know it’s early on but I feel too beta if only I chase her and she’s doing nothing.. On the other hand she never turned me off or flaked and it was pretty sparky when we were together. She told me she felt some butterflies we were making out on our first date. She can be hard, like last time (I blame her period), and its obvious that I’m not her priority SPAM... there is someone else.

I know may of you have been in situations like this. Can I do something to turn this on to make her chase me a bit more. Or there is a way to make her committed to this more and make me her priority.

thanks a lot
Krv

PS: sorry for my bad english

I am one of those many you mentioned.

That time she was cold to you on the phone was because she was with (one of?) the other dude. I could bet my life on that.

What you need to do is ask yourself what your goal with her is? Clearly you are leaning toward wanting a committed relationship. Sooner or later (if you haven't already) you are going to develop feelings toward her and it's going to get sticky. My advice for now is have fun with her, pursue other women, get her to like you/need you as much as possible and then give her an ultimatum: her freedom or your love. I've done this exact same thing and won the girl.

Your only trouble here is her inherent promiscuity. A girl that is relationship material IMO doesn't have relations with multiple men at a time. You can have a solid relationship going, she's got you hooked, and then all of a sudden she's going to need some space; in other words date other people while having you on stand by.

I talk from experience, and I just realized this also renders the first part of my post useless.

Conclusion: She's not relationship material. Do what you may with her, but don't become emotionally invested. Promiscuous people are promiscuous people. No magic title or even contract is going to stop that.

girls who aren't in relationships tend to date more than one guy at a time...it's called being single..

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~ASmooth

I think she's got you on the back burner a bit. She does like you though because you make her laugh and she feels good around you but she also has the added excitement of seeing other guys. Maybe tell a little white lie and say you're going out to dinner with someone else or to the pub/club/movies/whatever and see how she reacts? A woman I knew played the field but once she knew the guy was also seeing other women she weighed everything up and didn't want to lose him. They became a good, solid couple in the end. I guess we always think the grass is greener and keep our options open!

Thank you for replies. What I found interesting here is I kinda started to develop feelings for her at the start and maybe that's whats cost me much. At this point I’m more relaxed and opened to any possible end. We can be fuck buddies, I don't have problem with that.



Now, I would ask you for opinion: what would be my proper reaction, should I call her ( to continue seeing her regularly once per week and to prove that I’m ok with her her having other guy) or to play busy and not call her till she calls first (this could make her think I have issues with her not committed only to me). Last time I seen her was wednesday morning and we didn't communicate since then.

Yes, continue to see her once or twice a week. She's being honest with you and that's a good thing. It sounds like she wants a casual open relationship. There's nothing wrong with that. However, I strongly encourage you to date other people as well.. multiple relationships will help you manage your emotions and keep you from getting too attached to this girl.

Just my 2 cents.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

THIS

Thanks guys I will do exactly that... will continue seeing her but be open for other opportunities... I have seen her one more time after my last post... it was really good, sex was best so far. After she was talking about past relationships and stuff I came to conclusion that she may be lying about seeing other guy/guys. Is this can be a test?

Now she is on vacation, by the time she's be back I will go on mine, that means we will not meet at least 20 days.

sorry on butchered english

Hello guys, I have update on the topic. It will be wall of text on not quite decent English but please hang with me.

I wanted to share the rest of the story with you and to ask you for advice. The events that took place over the end of august made significant turn on the pace of relationship with this girl. To summarize, we have been seeing each other during the June.. After that we went on vacation in the same city at the same time frame. We have both lived there at some point in our lives and we both have families and friends there. But because we switched our mobile phone cards we didn't have a contact at all nor even accidentally bump up to each other. I returned home thinking that the story is over when suddenly I received text from her inviting me to go on the drink. We met up and she told me that she quit the job and shes moving back to home (the same city we were both on vacation month ago, btw that's in another country). She wanted to say goodbuy, at least that's what she told me, but instead we went to my place and have incredible sex. In the morning while I was driving her to hers place I managed to persuade her to stay one more night. She agreed and decided to stay. It was even better than the night before. I asked her to stay one more day but she said that she really has to go. In the morning we finally said goodbuy. But later that day she called up and said that she want me to help her get the car to the mechanic before she goes on the travel (I told her I have good friend mechanic). So I did it and we decided to meet up later because she canceled traveling for tomorrow. We went to the dinner party that evening at my friend who invited us. She was all dressed up and glowing and I really noticed some change in her behavior. She was really relaxed and happy. Finally looked like we connected. She slept over at my place again. Sex was the best so far because emotions are slowly started to get involved. Tomorrow after helped her pack up I asked her to stay with me and try to get her job back. But I told her it will be ok whatever she decide. After a bit of drama she decided to leave but I felt that it was not easy decision for her.
I didnt expected it but she reinitiate contact before she even got home . I has been two weeks and we are chating or skyping almost every night.
Last night she told me something I have been suspicious about. She has some emotional baggage. There is a guy she is still in love but the relationship is almost impossible and she is aware of it. She told me that as much as it is great when she is with him it is even more painful and overwhelming to her. She was seeing him occasionally. Last time few day ago when they got a fight and she told him she have someone else (me), also she added that she made it (our relationship) even bigger than it is. I think she is not over him yet.
I had plans, earlier, to go to her home city (I have a house and was living there for few years) because my good friend is getting married in September and I told her we will spend some quality time together while Im there. With emotional turmoil and job seeking struggle I think she is in the weak spot now. But because shes with the family she doesn't feel much pressure or anxiety right now. I think we can have few amazing days. Its a Mediterranean coast city which is beautiful during the September and my car is convertible .

This is going to be afc but I have 34 and never met girl like this. We have very similar life style and ideas and I can say we somewhat connected. She doesn't have major red flags except that emotional baggage I was mentioning before.She is real peace of work and high value girl. If I haven't been using a lot the tricks from PUA community I would probably fail with her long time ago. I know there is a lot of badass PUAs out there so I'm hoping someone can give me some good peace of advice how to handle this girl and do I need to destroy that other guy image? If I need to, how I'm suppose to do it? She is real peace of work and if I haven't been using a lot the tricks from PUA community I would probably fail.

Thanks
sincerely Krv

This

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Typically I don't think women lie about seeing more guys. If anything, due to social judgement, they lie the other way.

She sounds like a bit of an alpha female to me. They typically hold themselves in high regard, and feel like alpha males do, and feel they deserve whatever it is they want. Right now, she doesn't want you, or any other man enough to quit seeing others. The bonus for you is that it let's you in.

The key with a woman like this, if you are decidedly sure that what you want is an alpha female, is to prove your value and let her decide on her own that she wants you, and you alone. This means no beta moves, at all. Your best bet if you are not completely alpha is to get there, or at least get to the place where you can truly believe your life will kick ass with her, or without her. Wolf's advice is solid in this regard.

Get busy.