| A quick brief about me; haven't posted a FR in years, just got out of a LTR last month since Apr2012 so my game has taken a bit of a nose dive in that time (in more ways than one) but getting back on the horse and looking to come back into PUA and become better than I ever have been in the past.
This FR is basically gonna be 2 nights, last Friday and Saturday. Points where I am noting a learning experience I'll put in italics. I won't lie, this field report is LONG (I ramble way too much), skip to the last 3/4 paragraphs for the juiciest bits.
Friday - 07/03/2014
Finish work at 10:30pm and head straight to town. Meet up with the mates, much larger group than normal + one of the guys girlfriends and her friend (quite hot but I know is an absolute psycho) anyway we have a couple of drinks in a quiet place before moving onto the club, seemed like a good bet because it has 3 floors all with different kinds of music/people, but after we get in we find out only one floor is open.
Basically I can't stand the music on this floor but decide to try to make the best of it; me and my buddies head to the dancefloor and start throwing shapes etc. Dancefloor game has always been my weakspot, and this particular area is pretty much dancefloor only, so the previous week I'd been looking up some DF game stuff to try and prepare for my next dancefloor encounter; problem is, once I get on there it all goes out the window and I get way too energetic, to the point where it looks like I'm attention seeking, meanwhile my cousin who does not have and has never had any game to speak of at all (his first kiss was at about 22y/o and was out of pity :-/) is just enjoying himself dancing and gets opened by a decent looking girl, problem is he just reverts into his shell when she was all over him (tried opening him several times later and he just kept freezing). So, why was she opening him? I think it's because he was literally just enjoying himself, not worried about what they were doing, what his friends were doing or anyone, he was in his own world and was clearly having fun there. I was over the top and it was obvious why.
So after a while of not really getting anywhere, I decide to get a limbo started for the first time in 2 years. I approach some random girl, ask if her and her friends would be up for a limbo, she shouts "YEAH!" so I hand her the other end of my belt and stretch it across the dancefloor, takes a while to get going but eventually it goes into full swing with people queueing up to limbo, at the height of its popularity I stop it and put my belt back on, people high-fiving me etc. At this point one of the friends of the girl I started the limbo with gets close and starts dancing with me, only for her to be dragged of by her friends after like 10 seconds (never saw them again so I guess they left). Shortly after, it's just me and one buddy (out of my mates) on the floor, he basically looks like a model and has women regularly open him in our usual hangout (as you'll see in the second night's report) but anyway, we both clock the fact that over the course of 5-10minutes, the vast majority of the girls on the dancefloor edge our way, to the point where we are literally surrounded (the limbo is supposed to build social proof and show that 'life of the party' kind of demeanour, and appears to have worked in this instance); problem, I freeze, the hard work had been done, we had the attention, but the whole dancing approach is still a sticking point for me and I'm just there thinking like "what the fuck do I do now? Do I approach a whole group with my shocking dance moves? Do I just tap one on the shoulder or try approach someone on the edge of a group?" any advise for dancefloor game would be greatly appreciated guys!
So that pretty much ends it for that night, after I froze the rest of my mates joined the floor and they are, in general, not the kind of guys girls stay in the vicinity of for very long.
Things to take away from the night are that the overly high energy was doing me no favours although it did help with getting the limbo going. My cousins 'own little world' demeanour certainly did him a favour, if only he'd taken the opportunity. Really need to get over this approaching on the dancefloor bullshit, surrounded for more than enough time to approach multiple sets and did nothing.
Saturday - 08/03/2014
Had not originally intended on going out Saturday as I had work the following morning at 9am, but eager to have a better evening than the night before instead of sitting around at home bored, I decide fuck it! Give my wing (one that looks like model that I mentioned from the previous night, from here on I'll call him J) a call and we decide to hit the town again.
We go to a quiet place to start just to ease into the evening, have a game of pool and discuss the night before. We said how crazy it was that we got surrounded by girls on the dancefloor and we were both pretty bummed that we didn't take the opportunity; as well as us both attempting to analyse how exactly my cousin got approached (we decided it was his demeanour that made him attractive, on a dancefloor where every other guy is just trying to get in someone's pants, he wasn't).
We move on to the bar/club (different place to the previous night, this one is our favourite MAIN bar) it's fairly quiet as we got there early so we just stand at the bar having a chat for a bit. He's telling me again about how many matches he has on Tinder (over 500) and how many fuck buddies he has....but how he still misses his GF who split with him the same time me and my ex broke up. Now on the one hand it is hard for me to sympathise when someone is glued to their phone constantly having girls message them asking for sex etc (one of my big issues throughout the night is that he is CONSTANTLY on his phone, more than anything, it's just plain rude); but on the other hand, I decide to try and analyse him, because as we all know, good looks don't get you everywhere, especially as every week when we go out, 9 times out of 10 he'll be getting approached, there must be a reason.
So I say to him that there must be something we're both missing here, with AFC Adam his club game largely centres around pre-selection/social proof etc, Mystery's thing is peacocking, routines and impressing girls with tricks, some guys use NLP, so on and so forth; but J uses none of that, so what is it? I think back to my cousin being approached the night before and suddenly realise something about J, whenever we go out, his demeanour is always the same, chilled out, in control, non-needy, take it or leave it attitude towards the women in the venue.
Armed with this new idea, I decide to put all my effort for the night into adopting that demeanour, not worrying about approaching, just purely work on my body language and how I'm being exteriorly perceived. I do this by doing a set of specific things that somehow I just remembered of the top of my head whilst we were there. When walking, walk slowly with good posture, when stood near a wall talking, lean against the wall with whoever you're talking to facing you (displaying control of the conversation), not leaning in to hear or speak to anyone, they must come to me if they wanna hear/be heard and generally just being the leader moving from place to place. After a while of doing it I made my wing aware of what I was doing, he didn't mind that he was like the guinea pig haha.
So after a couple hours of setting my frame etc, we hit the dancefloor, I head for an area where I've noticed a girl looking in our direction all night, there's a chode crystal around them, I'm not even facing them and one of the guys actually starts to physical try and get inbetween me, J and the girls; I point it out to J and we laugh about it, then the girls actively push passed the guys and put us inbetween them, at this point I'm thinking "right ok, they've made an effort to put me and J inbetween them and the other guys, this is a green light" but before I get 2 seconds to make a move, the girl that'd been looking in our direction all night, opens J, after 2 minuites they kiss, her friend disappears and I decide to bail to the bar. Turned out she used to go to school with J, over 200miles away from where we live, massive coincidence so I don't take too much from it.
It's about 1am, J and I are sat on this snazzy couch, his head practically inside his phone by this point, I'm thinking maybe it's time to go; HOWEVER, my body language efforts have paid off, as out of nowhere a girl struts up to me, leans over me, close to my ear asks if I have a girlfriend, I say no and she proceeds to sit on my lap legs either side and kiss me on the cheek, I grab eye contact, hold it solidly and K-close. Now at this point my mind instantly thinks "you got lucky, big woop" but then I realise "hold on, whatever you do, DO NOT break character". Out of everyone in the place (and it was pretty busy by this time) she had intentionally come to find me as where we were sat, you only go there if you're looking for someone there or already know people there, my explanation was that the persona I'd been portraying all night had got noticed and this was the result. So we're making out etc and she then says to me "If you want me, you'll come find me" and kisses me; as she goes to leave my arm is still around her, I pull her whole body back one handed Asserting physical dominance kiss her hard and say "No.....if you want me, you'll come find me" keeping the frame and don't give a fuck attitude, her eyes light up and she jumps on my again for a moment then leaves.
About half an hour to an hour goes by and I've stopped drinking alcohol and now hitting the energy drinks, move around the club a bit and clock that chick out the corner of my eye a few times with what can only be described as a puppy dog following her around, I chuckle to myself a little and sit back down on the same couch. She comes back and says "remember me", I respond "I have a vague recollection", she calls me an asshole, points to her boobies and says "do you remember these?" and I say "I have a slightly better recollection now" she calls me an ass again, sits down next to me and says something like "ok, I'll play the game with you, this creepy game has been following me around, let's make him leave" we start making out again and sure enough he leaves. She now starts talking to me about how later on she's gonna do this to me and that to me and she has a big bed etc. HERE'S WHERE I FUCK UP......right there I should have said to her "We're leaving, now" and lead her out, back to her place, f-close, job done. But no, I'm still trying to play it cool and she gets up again saying she's gonna go dance and she'll come find me in a little bit, no problem, it's in the bag, nothing can go wrong. After half an hour my wing disappears so I decide to go find her and do what I should have already done.
I find her.........crying. Fuck! Something's happened whilst I've been thinking I'm a cool-ass mofo, she's got upset somehow and now I have to pull something out my ass to get her back into the "this is how I'm gonna suck your dick later" mood (incidentally she demonstrated that on my tongue, weird right but it did feel good haha) but alas I fail, she says 50 times that she's fine, kisses me on the cheek, thanks me for trying to console her, says she's going home and BOOM, gone. Just like that. As easy an F-Close as there could have ever been and I fucked it up by doing exactly what gave me the opportunity in the first place!
Lessons
- Demeanour is so important in club game, after a few days of thinking about it I've realised my best game 'form' about 3/4 years ago also worked on this principle, I just forgot it.
- Dancefloor game needs massive important, dance just for fun, keep an eye out for IOI's and APPROACH DAMNIT!
- When a girl is sat on you lap, telling you she wants your dick, just be a gentleman and give it to her, don't continue being a cocky fucker because you might end up as unlucky as I did and end up with nothing due to something that you don't even know about. (Didn't get name or # so a second opportunity with the same girl is unlikely, although that club is one that typically has the same people every week, so ya never know) NO EXCUSES I didn't get laid because I didn't pull the trigger soon enough.
- Need to continue working on body language skills, both developing own skills and noticing others.
- More approach work needed.
- Drinking energy drinks is not good when you have to work the next day, got home 4:30am, got to sleep 5:30am, had to get up 7:30am, then worked 8 hours....it was fun lol. _________________ "My toughest opponent is always myself"
Musterion's Journal
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