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I've been here for a while...
I've had ups and downs,
I've learned about pretty much every PU theory there is,
I've received and gave a lot of advices over the years,
That being said, there is one thing I want to talk about... That I think most of the PU industry has totally wrong.
"Dude, don't text her right away, that's needy"
"Dude, don't call/text her after a date, that's needy"
"Hey guys, how long should I wait before I can text a girl I had a great time with?"
"Dude, don't try to have a conversation via texts... it shows neediness"
"Guys, we have to see multiples girls at a time so we can stay alpha"
I don't know about you guys, but I see questions/advices like these all the time around here. Basically, they all follow the same pattern: You should not do this and this because that would be needy, and you should be acting THAT way because this is how an alpha male would act.
Really?
If someone want to act a certain way with a girl, but doesn't and end up repressing these thoughts because someone told him it is needy behavior, does it make him any less needy?
In my opinion, he is just faking to be someone he's not in order to appear socially acceptable and attractive to a girl. However, why is he acting this way? Because he is afraid he might lose her and he doesn't want that to happens... He values being congruent with his true self less than he want to keep seeing this girl...
And to all of those who keep saying "fake it till you make it". It doesn't work that way. I speak from experience when I say that, at one point, all this repressed behavior will come back to the surface. It might take one week, one month or one year, but it will come back, you will show your true colors.
How do I know that? Doing that for years, I ended up having a lot going for me, and nothing truly to complain about, yet I was still depressed. I just couldn't help it. I started consulting a psychologist who informed me I suffer from a mental "illness" called "faux-me" that highly successful people or leaders often suffer from. They end up repressing "weak or needy" emotions to keep this strong frame so much that not matter what they achieve, deep down, they are depressed. No one truly knows or understand them, they could have a wonderful wife and kids, they don't really know them.
I felt that, and now, I'd rather show my insecurities and act needy than do something "non-needy" because this girl might think I'm needy and reject me. Ironically, I think that even though I am being a lot more needy on the surface than I used to, I am actually doing better. I value my mental health more than any other girl. My mindset is "I am anxious in relationship and I need intimacy/closeness. If you are not willing to reassure me, provide me with this intimacy and closeness, we should not keep seeing each other, we are not compatible. "
Will edit...
^ you have wrong definition of needy alpha/alpha male 1.0 by blackdragon:
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Alpha Male 1.0 – The usual type of Alpha Male most people are familiar with. A man with all the characteristics of an Alpha Male 2.0, but who is not outcome independent. The Alpha 1.0 is a strong, usually successful, confident man who can get women, but who also often and quickly gets upset and offended when a woman he wants rejects him or doesn’t act in accordance with his desires.
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