Is this a reasonable thing to tell your girlfriend?



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 3:23 pm 
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Thanks afc. We did have a convo recently about childishness that we both have had and then i had these two with her. I hope these will be enough to dissuade jealousy tactics and texting others in any inappropriate way. The sex denial was me not her.

I was very honest about this issue right? I was honest about the childishness we both had too. I saw the sex denial on her part was a reflection on a short bout of sexual neediness on my part and chose not to talk about it but to flip the script in a subtle way. It reignited the sex big time.

She knows now that i wouldnt stand for it if the sexual boundary via text was crossed. Ive never taken her crap before. Keep in mind that ive been extremely confident, decisive, ect with this girl and most if not all of the insecurities ive had have stayed on this board. She worries about how i view her alot and has in the past descibed me as being a guy a ton of chicks want
Why did you delete what you wrote before?
I dont want to leave a trail lol. I wrote the same stuff as the Original post in this thread basicly


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 3:57 pm 
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Lol no... You knew that there were details there that would make people tell you to leave her so you got rid of it. But that's your choice. You will put up with any problems or stress in this relationship and you'll probably just keep your problems to yourself instead of post them. You're stuck to this girl and you don't want to hear or follow the advice that the relationship is obviously not working. If you didn't think so you wouldn't have deleted stuff. Gl


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 3:59 pm 
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Actually it was the same thing but i got the courage to post it again


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 4:22 pm 
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Dude how old are you and how many LTRs have you had?

You seem a bit inexperienced.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 4:27 pm 
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Dude how old are you and how many LTRs have you had?

You seem a bit inexperienced.
25 and this is my second one. I have dated many girls but my second ltr. First one was with a girl who wasnt as attractive and more mature than this one.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 4:37 pm 
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Dude how old are you and how many LTRs have you had?

You seem a bit inexperienced.
25 and this is my second one. I have dated many girls but my second ltr. First one was with a girl who wasnt as attractive and more mature than this one.
I actually think this is the kind of relationship where getting busy, being a bit more unavailable, meeting other girls, working on your own life would help a lot. Especially because then you would stop being needy and insecure and she would be more attracted and you wouldn't give a fuck about shit tests and whatnot.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:19 pm 
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Dude how old are you and how many LTRs have you had?

You seem a bit inexperienced.
25 and this is my second one. I have dated many girls but my second ltr. First one was with a girl who wasnt as attractive and more mature than this one.
I actually think this is the kind of relationship where getting busy, being a bit more unavailable, meeting other girls, working on your own life would help a lot. Especially because then you would stop being needy and insecure and she would be more attracted and you wouldn't give a fuck about shit tests and whatnot.
She complains i dont text her enough! Needy! Even thinks her girlfriends see their bfs more. And the sex is on tap with her initiating just as much as me. This girl is extremely attracted. I have friends i see and see her probably 3 times a week ish


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:29 pm 
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Time reflecting on past relationships goes a long way, bro. If you give it ample time from girlfriend to girlfriend and identify exactly how you want to be treated and what you didn't like and wouldn't stand for again in a relationship you'll come out a better man and a better partner having experienced it. I've had about 10 serious LTRs(1Year~). At first I had no idea how a relationship was supposed to go(Around age 14-15) and I did some stupid and immature, controlling things by any stretch of the imagination. Still, the relationships lasted over a year and I realised I didn't want to be in that kind of partnership. I asked myself what was reasonable and what wasn't. I found a lot of what was wrong was due to my own insecurities and inexperience. The problems that weren't my fault and totally unacceptable behaviour were actually indirectly my fault because I didn't put my foot down when I should have. I was afraid at times to put my foot down and say "That's not right. Cut the shit or i'm out." I was more afraid of what a good boyfriend should be doing to stand up for myself and always second guessed myself in those situations. One thing I learned from that at a young age is to NEVER listen to a woman, especially a woman you're in a relationship with, about what is and what is not a good boyfriend because they will always, ALWAYS give you a 110% bias answer to better themselves.

For about four years I went from one extreme to the next bouncing back and forth between being too controlling and being too care free and not giving a fuck about what she did until I finally settled somewhere in between and have had nothing but good relationships that were mutually beneficial. I could even stay friends with these women afterwards and be happy for them.

The staples of a good boyfriend I found were:

1. Don't be afraid to put your foot down if you don't like something -- You should never have to settle. If she's doing something inappropriate just lay down the law.

2. Don't do things you wouldn't like her to do(And vice versa) -- Texting that HB9 that's an eyelash away from sexting you? Drop it or keep it friendly, otherwise you can bet your LTR is going to suffer.

3. Don't ever be physical with a woman -- This doesn't even need to be commented on. There's never an excuse for hitting a woman unless she gets turned on by it sexually(Even at that, don't go crazy no matter how hard she wants it). If she's the type that will bring you to the brink you need to walk away and dump her. If you have a short temper learn to control it and learn how to walk away.

4. Respect and be confident in yourself -- This is the most important: If you have respect and confidence in yourself you won't second guess your decisions and you'll be more informed about what you really want from a relationship. If you respect and have confidence in yourself you won't easily get jealous and see if you can or can not trust a woman(Some women you couldn't trust to walk around the corner, that's just how it is). Most importantly moreover; if you have the respect and confidence you deserve you'll see when someone just isn't good for you and when you should move on and take the relationship as a life lesson to improve your future relationships.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:58 pm 
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Time reflecting on past relationships goes a long way, bro. If you give it ample time from girlfriend to girlfriend and identify exactly how you want to be treated and what you didn't like and wouldn't stand for again in a relationship you'll come out a better man and a better partner having experienced it. I've had about 10 serious LTRs(1Year~). At first I had no idea how a relationship was supposed to go(Around age 14-15) and I did some stupid and immature, controlling things by any stretch of the imagination. Still, the relationships lasted over a year and I realised I didn't want to be in that kind of partnership. I asked myself what was reasonable and what wasn't. I found a lot of what was wrong was due to my own insecurities and inexperience. The problems that weren't my fault and totally unacceptable behaviour were actually indirectly my fault because I didn't put my foot down when I should have. I was afraid at times to put my foot down and say "That's not right. Cut the shit or i'm out." I was more afraid of what a good boyfriend should be doing to stand up for myself and always second guessed myself in those situations. One thing I learned from that at a young age is to NEVER listen to a woman, especially a woman you're in a relationship with, about what is and what is not a good boyfriend because they will always, ALWAYS give you a 110% bias answer to better themselves.


For about four years I went from one extreme to the next bouncing back and forth between being too controlling and being too care free and not giving a fuck about what she did until I finally settled somewhere in between and have had nothing but good relationships that were mutually beneficial. I could even stay friends with these women afterwards and be happy for them.

The staples of a good boyfriend I found were:

1. Don't be afraid to put your foot down if you don't like something -- You should never have to settle. If she's doing something inappropriate just lay down the law.

2. Don't do things you wouldn't like her to do(And vice versa) -- Texting that HB9 that's an eyelash away from sexting you? Drop it or keep it friendly, otherwise you can bet your LTR is going to suffer.

3. Don't ever be physical with a woman -- This doesn't even need to be commented on. There's never an excuse for hitting a woman unless she gets turned on by it sexually(Even at that, don't go crazy no matter how hard she wants it). If she's the type that will bring you to the brink you need to walk away and dump her. If you have a short temper learn to control it and learn how to walk away.

4. Respect and be confident in yourself -- This is the most important: If you have respect and confidence in yourself you won't second guess your decisions and you'll be more informed about what you really want from a relationship. If you respect and have confidence in yourself you won't easily get jealous and see if you can or can not trust a woman(Some women you couldn't trust to walk around the corner, that's just how it is). Most importantly moreover; if you have the respect and confidence you deserve you'll see when someone just isn't good for you and when you should move on and take the relationship as a life lesson to improve your future relationships.

I feel as though i have put my foot down in this scenario. I dont know man i acted unaffected until i saw that she kept contact with a guy who got sexual and told her she stepped on my boundaries


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 6:17 pm 
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Now that's a serious case of oenitis!! 2 Pages already!!! BOOM!!
Get out of the internet and tell your babe: Daddys back, bitch, BAM!!!
I told you before to communicate what you want, so what are you still doing here whining about?
25 and no balls at... may I suggest joining a gym or a martial arts workshop? Seriously get your balls back from under the kitchensink and DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO!! Live life with no regrets tomorrow it could be ZOOM! black, you dead pawl. So stop worrying and grow up!
The guys really gave it their BEST to help you out now it's end of the show sattle up and live!!!

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