She says she has no time with me right now. I'm not quite sure what to think. On the other hand she says that if she had the energy then there is nobody in the whole world that she would rather be with other than me - so that's positive. And the sex is great according to her - when we do meet. But for the most part this last week she has barely talked to me and everytime I try to talk to her she becomes irritated and says to leav her alone for a while. She says that she will not have time at all to meet me this week or the next. It kinda bothers me I guess.

So, the negatives:
- she says she has a lot of personal problems right now and wants to be alone.
- she is very sparce with sharing what these problems are and becomes irritated when we talk about it.
- she says she has no time for me.
- she says she percieves me as needy when I want to be with her (wtf?)

The positive:
- she says that she wants to be with me, just not now.
- she says that we can talk, but not about anything that makes her upset (which seems to be pretty much everything right now) - so she wants to keep contact at least.
- she always complements our sex (not the exakt last time, but most of the time she does).

I do have a sortof idea of what is going on. I know for a fact that I have a very very difficult time giving her emotional feedback on things that upset her. I don't know what to do about it - I just dont feel like "emoting" with her. I just feel like saying "cheer up woman" and she percieves this attitude and it hurts her alot. She says that she feels that I do not respect her and what she wants. This is right now mostly about her wanting to be alone - but before it was about a wide variety of things. Like small things - she wants something - I don't provide it to her - she says I don't respect her. She says "there is love in our relationship" but that it's "hanging by the thread" and the relationship drains her of energy. She has never been the type to really want to discuss things on a day to day basis - she does not like to share her days, her experiences during the day. She is just not into it - even messenging in itself (writing a message and sending it) drains her she says.

I need to come up with some strategy to handle this. I like her a lot. I have been in many relationships before her and I know for a fact that I really would like to be with her. Part of me really wants to make this work - but it also upsets me that she doesn't like to cuddle, doesn't like to hug, doesn't like to sleep together (having sex is fine but she never hugs me when we sleep) and all of these things are kindof important to me.

So do I just let her be alone for a while? Message her goodnight and maybe an occasional I love you to show her I still care about her and then see what happens in a few weeks? It just drives me crazy. I don't like being so distant with her. It feels like we are just getting into arguments every time we start talking to eachother and I really don't want it to be that way. What can I do to make her calm? I really want to avoid the arguments.

For instance if I say "I miss you." she starts sliding into an argument like "oh you're so needy. It's not up to me to be responsible for you feeling well. I have enough of my own problems. So don't make me feel bad about us not meeting right now." :: how is that needy? I just say I miss her, cause I do reallly miss her. A lot. I want to be able to say that without her getting all upset at me because of it.

Thoughts?

This is classic girl speak, for "I don't want to be with YOU, at all or ever again. All the rest is filler bullshit exonerating her from her own guilt of wanting new cock! (likely already is!)

Time to suck it up and move the fuck on down the road.

Now go out there and be the Man she wishes she woulda kept!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

i would say give her some space whatever you do will only make it worst.
from what you tell she is obviously not really into you and i would make a clean break with her, if she like you she will realize what she has lost and chase you of not you just move on to the next one
you also need to ask yourself if you really want her, it rare that girls really change so if she doesn't like to cuddle know chances are she won't like that in the future (are you ok with not getting what you want out of a relationship)
also whatever you do don't text her that you love her and that you miss her (she already stated that she finds you to needy)

Yeah man, you got dumped. And you probably got dumped because you're needy and you don't have enough social intuition to know when you got dumped.

Watch the movie "Mud" - you're the little kid at the end.

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Tenmagnet - Lovesystems Instructor
www.lovesystems.com
www.tenmagnet.com

Well, part of me thinks it's not over yet.

So I did something more interesting. I wen't out and went meeting other girls and I told her before I went out and after I came home about the fact I was out so she wouldn't think I was cheating. Then I told her a story of another girl that was flirting with me and that things were getting sexual but I turned that girl down (it was what happened). So I said "I even had to turn another girl down for you. Can you imagine that??"

She said "oh.. I love you. and I trust you. I think you need to be with someone who is not jealous of you (suggesting I be with her). I'm happy you can go out and be free. But please don't have sex with anyone else because that part is important for me, I do not want to get any STDs when we meet again." ... this actually made me much more calm. But I'm still thinking of ways to get her to open up more with me and tell me more about her life and what she is doing. Because frankly she is super private. Gets angry when I ask her about work and other daily things on the phone, and I have only met a single one of her friends. She talks a lot about them but I never get to meet anyone.

I do not think that one should give up on the first sign of a setback, like most of you above were suggesting. I think one should do everything one can if the person really is important until one knows for sure that it's over...

So please more constructive advice from now on.. Like more things that I could try/do to get her response. What would you have done? I promise that if I try any of the suggested suggestions then I will post the results here.

If you tell your girlfriend that you went out and flirted with other girls and she tells you she is happy that you can go out and be free (fuck other girls) then there is a problem.

The thing is that she considers you a fuck buddy. Nothing else. I had the exact same situation with a girl before. She wasn't opening up, no cuddling etc. Guess what. I was used for sex only.

She basically told you you can go out and fuck anybody but don't get STD's. I'm assuming that she is already fucking someone and this would relieve her from guilt.

I suggest you go out and find yourself a girlfriend.

For your own mental health, it should be.

Your getting oneitis for a FWB, that's all this is!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

No the opposite. She told me I could go out and be free, but NOT allow it to be sexual. She said she is happy with me "having a life" and not making it all about her all the time.

Yeah, so where does that leave you? You don't get to know shit about her, and get to sit around waiting for her decision as to whether or not you can fuck someone else? In the meantime, she gets to sort her issues out?

Pick yourself up and take back your balls. 100% for sure, if you comply with her request, you are done fucking her in the very near future. Why? Because you value her more than you value yourself. Women NEVER maintain interest in someone who values them more than they value themselves. And this doesn't just happen with women, it's true for men too. Think about it.

Mate, you definitely are just a fuck buddy to her.

- She tells you sex is awesome but doesn't have time for you / doesn't want to deal with ANYTHING that would make it a relationship (spending time, cuddling, going on trips, buying you things, inviting you for dinner, cooking for you, etc)
- She's happy for you to flirt with other girls (she likes that you are becoming less clingy), but not to fuck them -BECAUSE SHE'S SCARED OF STDs, not because she wants to be in a committed relationship with you
- Seems like you are contacting her way more than she does

The fact that you can't connect with her on an emotional level might be one of the reasons why she chose to not have a "proper" relationship with you. To turn this around, your first step is to go no contact for a while. See how long it takes for her to get in touch...

Find another woman, she and you are done

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Preston's Game Log - Please critique

Def not all that into you. I'd walk and regain your dignity. She's even giving you a free pass on meeting other women. Come on now.

Listen man, I'm posting this as a gay who went through the SAME EXACT thing as you. Only I've been through it for 6 years about 15 times with the same chick. I HATE when people tell me to "next" her or give it up because it will never change. Still do seeing as I'm going through the same thing as of two weeks ago again.

Your girl will come back to you, like mine always does. But it's only a matter of time before you end up here again. I know that and still can't resist taking her back every time. I don't want to believe it either but I think we're just crutches for them when they're bored or lonely. My chick always says she wishes things could be different, and it's bullshit because they CAN BE. I'm just a little bitch who does everything for her and is basically the "dream guy" that all women talk about but don't really want. They want cocky assholes who only give a fuck about themselves. I'm not that way hence why I keep going through this.

This time I already went out and started seeing other chicks. I hate their guts. All of them. For me there is only her. And everyone says it will get better with time, but I refuse to believe that. So I'm trying a different approach. Strict no contact. Been dark with her for about 10 days now. And I challenge myself to find 2-3 new things to do every week. Whether it's a party or a show or a date whatever. The one thing you should take away from all the other guys on this forum is this, Women are only interested in interesting guys who have their own lives and aren't constantly doing what the woman wants. Get into art, go to exhibits, show up at random events do whatever. Even if you do it alone. Hell even if you don't actually go just make it up and check in somewhere unique and interesting so she can see you're doing it! She'll come back. But when she does don't go back to your old ways or you'll just lose her. Be different. Be a sarge. Include her in your new hobbies and activities. Suggest things you want to do.

I hope it works out for you. I'm getting the bad feeling that this time I'm finally not gonna get mine back to have another chance but who knows. I've blown enough chances already. Had so many opportunities and fucked it up. Don't be like me.

She's done, accept that and let go. You've got better things to do. Why fight for something not worth fighting for? You can expend your energy finding someone worth your time.

This, with all honesty, is crystal clear. She's trying to tell you to distance yourself away from her. She wants friends with benefits, so go for it and game other girls. Fuck her every time you see her, and keep fucking other girls. She's not a girlfriend material.