For some reason, the guys I'm personally working with have been surprised at something I did last weekend in the field, so I thought it might be helpful to share it with the rest of you.

It involved pushing and pulling with a girl. There's pushing and pulling her emotions, but there's also pushing and pulling her mentally too, sending mixed signals if you will.

Here's the example.

I opened a two set on the dance floor. One was a 42 year old married woman, and the other, her sis, was a 38 year old single girl. Both live about an hour away.

First, the married girl blew out a guy because she told him she was married. I saw this and opened her by asking if she was married. She shows me her wedding ring. I put my right hand out to shake hers. I tell her it's cool, because there ain't nothing wrong with coming out and having some fun. She immediately wraps her arms around me and pulls me right up to her.

She gets her face next to mine expecting a kiss. I didn't go there. Instead, I talked to her for a minute. She's pulling me in physically, I'm pushing her away mentally. We danced a bit, she starts telling me about her sis because she's trying to hook her sis up. She introduces me to her sis, pushes the two of us together.

This is where it gets interesting.

Her sis is the type of person that apparently is not big on kino. She's standing there with her arms plastered against her sides. She looks at me and tells me she hates the guys touching her. So, I don't touch her. She starts dancing in front of me. We're talking a bit. She's pushing up against me. I'm still not touching her. We're still talking. I put my fingers on her shoulders. I ask if that's ok. She laughs and says yes. I work my way down to her hands. She locks her fingers with mine, I raise our hands up. I say apparently she's ok with hands. She laughs again and says yes. So, I move my arms behind her back. She's pushed herself up against me more at this point. Then she says to me not to touch her ass.

I immediately pull myself away from her, pull my arms off of her, and throw my arms up and look at her straight in her eyes. She asks me what I'm doing. I tell her I'm touching you.

She tells me not to touch her ass, so I completely pulled away from her. It was a physical and a mental push/pull. She ends up wanting me to get up against her again and put my arms around her.

You need to learn to push/pull with the girls you're interacting with.

My push pulling sometimes confuses the chick. Maybe it's because I'm using every excuse I can to initiate push pull, but sometimes she'll end up not knowing what to do or say because she doesn't know what kind of whacked out response I'll come up with next.

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Well, you don't need to use push/pull every second Roads, lol.

ok ive had an idea .. but not sure about it .. related to push / pull. Anyway...

Rite so use the 5 question game .. but say "ok if you lose you have to give me a kiss (on the cheak or whatever)" then when she loses she'll be like "oh so i have to kiss you now" .. and you can go "no ... i dont kiss losers ".

pulled them in thinking your interested .. then pushed with the end. But im not 100% on this one. comments??

No no no man, that's just being rude to her. With that instance, she knows the kiss is at stake before you start the game . . . and she complies with that, showing that she's interested in that. She loses the game, meaning she complied with you by playing the game, so she actually deserves the kiss at that point. You need to reward her, by keeping your word. However, a cheek kiss is what you're going for there. She hasn't yet earned a mouth kiss.

yeah thats what i was thinking could be bad about it.

I can understand gently pushing or turning away from a girl I'm making out with, even saying "slow down", but I can't imagine telling a girl: "alright, get off me" (as Mystery says).

Don't you think that's harsh, regardless of how it is delivered?

Oh hell no! Tell her that AND demand she pay you $5 for touching you. Do it playfully of course, but search the forums for "Cat String Theory".

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This is more of a freeze out than a push/pull. With a push/pull, you elicit a state of positive emotion that you caused and then pull it away. In the above example, she did not comply (unexpressed) and you froze her out (even though you did pull your hands away from her). Fruitfull, none the less, because this caused her to want you more.

Why would you want her to give you a kiss if she lost? Is her giving you affection a punishment for her losing? If anything, if she won, you would give her a kiss.

It gives her way to much value for her kiss (and you should not use it), but, it is push/pull. (Elicits positive emotion (value of her kiss) pull, then you push her away)
Not at all. Matter of fact, I would push her away while saying it.

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Recommended reading list.

Double Your Dating by DD
(This will work on your inner game)

http://www.freewebs.com/xfman/
(This will work on your outer game)

Valence, freeze-outs ARE a form of push/pull, because you have been getting positive feedback, pulling them in and then when you don't get the feedback you want, you push away physically. Just cause something falls into one catagory doesn't mean it doesn't fall into another as well.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

True, freeze outs can be a form of push/pull.

A freeze out in response to a shit test in not.

_________________
Recommended reading list.

Double Your Dating by DD
(This will work on your inner game)

http://www.freewebs.com/xfman/
(This will work on your outer game)