Opened up to a girl – Did I fuck up?



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PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 5:54 pm 
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I've been dating this girl for around 6 months now. She started acting weird today, As I expected it's because she had enough of me being emotionally cold and she's seen my tendencies to be manipulative. Really the PUA game has always been somewhat intuitive to me, I never suplicate, I never give more than I get in return. I've been told I'm very charming and as years progressed I realise I possess many psychopathic traits.

Essentially she's started get crying because she feels that all the emotions I show her are fake, and that I'm ultimately lying to her. I did so in the beginning but this girl is quite special, her love and understanding has won me over. I still do play games and I guess I always will, but not the malicious shit I used to. I opened up to her, and explained how my father was an alcoholic sociopath. He would use anger and guilt to manipulate others, from watching him I learned that attachment = weakness. Really you win in life by not caring, to fulfil your own needs even if it others get hurt along the way. After the realisation dawned on(for the first time in my entire life, all at once) I couldn't help but cry.. I can't even remember crying in the past 5 years.

I was craddled in her arms, and she says that she loves me more now she understands why I am the way I am. That I don't do it because I don't love her, but because of the abuse I suffered.

I can't help feel like I've fucked up, never open up, never show weakness. Should I just chuck her before the tables turn and it's me being her lapdog?


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 6:26 pm 
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Quote:
I've been dating this girl for around 6 months now. She started acting weird today, As I expected it's because she had enough of me being emotionally cold and she's seen my tendencies to be manipulative. Really the PUA game has always been somewhat intuitive to me, I never suplicate, I never give more than I get in return. I've been told I'm very charming and as years progressed I realise I possess many psychopathic traits.

Essentially she's started get crying because she feels that all the emotions I show her are fake, and that I'm ultimately lying to her. I did so in the beginning but this girl is quite special, her love and understanding has won me over. I still do play games and I guess I always will, but not the malicious shit I used to. I opened up to her, and explained how my father was an alcoholic sociopath. He would use anger and guilt to manipulate others, from watching him I learned that attachment = weakness. Really you win in life by not caring, to fulfil your own needs even if it others get hurt along the way. After the realisation dawned on(for the first time in my entire life, all at once) I couldn't help but cry.. I can't even remember crying in the past 5 years.

I was craddled in her arms, and she says that she loves me more now she understands why I am the way I am. That I don't do it because I don't love her, but because of the abuse I suffered.

I can't help feel like I've fucked up, never open up, never show weakness. Should I just chuck her before the tables turn and it's me being her lapdog?
Just pass it off as a once off thing. If she starts changing or trying to be manipulative and take control just ditch her. Who knows, she might be one of few women who will actually take it to heart and treat the knowledge she came across as careful as possible.

I do know if you give most people an inch they'll run a mile with it... But that's MOST people, not everyone, and this applies to both men and women. Just act like you usually would and if she starts trying to push your buttons or do things she normally wouldn't have then drop her, it will be clear she's taking advantage of your vulnerability if she starts acting up.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 7:50 pm 
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shes clearly premenstrual, as the above poster said dont add significance to it or it will give her validation to push it in a couple days when shes not menstrual and overly emotional.

You are asking a question about your pathology, whatever conclusion you come to it isn't really related to this chick, its your issue.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 7:57 pm 
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I know many PUA will tell you not to show feelings and what not...But honestly i personally believe that this is shit! Yes a real man CAN show his feelings ones in a while. And you did that and that showed her that you are a human being with feelings! Why should that be bad?
Quote:
I was craddled in her arms, and she says that she loves me
Dude, what you want more? When you say:
Quote:
but this girl is quite special


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 8:36 pm 
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Nice angle I dig it.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 9:04 pm 
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Quote:
shes clearly premenstrual
Yeah, women don't have real feelings, it's just the hormones. Don't take her seriously as a person, whatever you do...

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:21 am 
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Quote:
I've been dating this girl for around 6 months now. She started acting weird today, As I expected it's because she had enough of me being emotionally cold and she's seen my tendencies to be manipulative. Really the PUA game has always been somewhat intuitive to me, I never suplicate, I never give more than I get in return. I've been told I'm very charming and as years progressed I realise I possess many psychopathic traits.

Essentially she's started get crying because she feels that all the emotions I show her are fake, and that I'm ultimately lying to her. I did so in the beginning but this girl is quite special, her love and understanding has won me over. I still do play games and I guess I always will, but not the malicious shit I used to. I opened up to her, and explained how my father was an alcoholic sociopath. He would use anger and guilt to manipulate others, from watching him I learned that attachment = weakness. Really you win in life by not caring, to fulfil your own needs even if it others get hurt along the way. After the realisation dawned on(for the first time in my entire life, all at once) I couldn't help but cry.. I can't even remember crying in the past 5 years.

I was craddled in her arms, and she says that she loves me more now she understands why I am the way I am. That I don't do it because I don't love her, but because of the abuse I suffered.

I can't help feel like I've fucked up, never open up, never show weakness. Should I just chuck her before the tables turn and it's me being her lapdog?


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 8:07 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 05, 2013 10:44 am
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U revealed too much, and there'll probably be dysfuntion now in your relationship. Its a red flag what u did.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 8:43 am 
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People say don't show your feelings here. I think because they are insecure and they are afraid that showing them will loose the girl. It is a fucked up logic because that show that they are actually afraid to loose the girl.
Showing weakness is very attractive. In the right times. And trust me decent girls will appreciate it.
Of course don't go overboard but it lets your partner close to you and makes her love you more.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 3:42 pm 
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The way I see it, you did good. Girls love emotional shit like this, and many girls like to believe they are saving a bad boy lost in life and making the world a better place, with gay polar bears working on multicultural teams to manufacture hibrid cars on a factory that pays fair salaries to third world workers. Seriously, wathever gets her going.

I believe there is nothing wrong with showing feelings in the apropriate moment, like I believe it was your case, and I have by experience that this can be a powerful tool.

About two months ago I worked with a girl I had met a while back, and started gaming her, although she had a bf. Thing is, I overgamed her and never got her to have dinner or go to a bar with me. But after she stopped replying to my texts (the moment 90% of the people here would say "forget her and move on") I thought "fuck it" and invited her to a cofee at a place near our office saying I had to speak with her. She accepted and when I met her there I came clean, apolegised for manipulating her, said I would like to get to know her better and would like if we could at least remain friends, etc, etc. I also told her about how my grandfather gambled away my family's fortune with no regard to his descendents and how having been denied what was rightfully mine made me vow I would achieve greatness and restore my family's name and honour, no matter the cost, and no matter who I had to screw along the way, and that was the reason I was so defensive and had never been honest with her before. It so happens she had broke off with her bf the week before and had never said anything because she was afraid i would just fuck her and dump her and me being honest was the thing that changed her mind. We have been together for a few weeks now and things are going great.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 10:33 pm 
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When you've been dating for a long time, if you want it to continue and possibly get serious, you should start sharing more emotional stuff like this. The trick is to let her see more of the 'real' you and your emotions without becoming a massive wuss.

Don't let it happen too often and don't let her try to nanny you - if she does, then ask her what she thinks she's doing and tell her to stop and that it shouldn't change how things started.


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