I won`t lie about anything I write down in here, the one reason I won`t is because it would only affect ME, the only person I will be fooling in here. I can`t say I won`t change facts a bit because I understand that people tend to have different perspectives about one same subject; but I consider myself an objective man.

So last saturday`s field report: 20/4/2013

I`m really exited about going out, I have a long weekend and saturday night is the best to hit the venue in my city.
I call my friend who`s interested in PUA and demand for a night out. He is in for approaching new girls.

Let`s get to the action part: We started at this nightclub really soon; we arrived 12:30 am and partys around here tend to start at 3 am.

So we hit the bar and start drinking some beer while talking about the poker nights we had, some fluff talk; when I notice this beauty checking on me sitted at her table. Imma make a note here: I noticed her because I FELT somehow she was seeing me, I could actually FEEL her gaze upon me. This was strong.

That note was made for one reason: I think it`s something I need to work on more, is this strange sense I`m sure I can develop more.

Like I said, she was checking on me and my buddy; she`s in a 3 set sitting at a table, I`m standing at the bar with my buddy talking relaxed and the place is quite empty.
My friend and I go sit to a table near her, I`m texting with another friend we go out with a lot and tell him to meet at another club. This one`s not for me tonight.

So after some more conversation with my buddy and noticing the girl`s still checking on us and her friends are doing so too, I tell my buddy that before leaving Imma ask for her number. Told him to engage with me, he could get a number too.
He says to me he`s cold, won`t do the approach. So I tell him that`s fine but that we are leaving to the other venue.
As I`m passing by the girls table I take my phone out; lean in to her and say: "Hi. This will only take a minute cause I`m leaving; but I wanted you to write your name so I can add you on facebook later and perhaps see each other again."

I hand her over my phone, she writes down her number and her name, I kiss her on the cheek and leave.
Let`s call this girl Euge.

This is how my night started.

So we get in the car and head to the other club we wanted to go to; my other friend arrives ten minutes later.
Right off the bat we sit near to a table outside, three girls sitting at that table, one of my buddys asks one girl for the free chair they had, she agreed, and I asked one of the girls to sit together in her puff, she also agreed.

I was giving my back to her and the other two girls, my buddys were sitting facing me. We talked a bit, exchange a few words with the girls behind us and went to the bathroom with one of my friends. When we get back my remaining friend is already in set sitting at the table and the three of us sit at the table making a six person group. From there we started talking, bought 4 beers the six of us and starte kinoing the girls.

They were heading to another club and my friend that engaged the set alone wanted to go too, he had a target and man! this guy knows how to aim.

I gotta confess at this point I didn`t wanted to go and stated so; in my head the reason was because I don`t like to chase girls. My thoughts were if we follow em to that club we are communicating that we are chasing the girls.

My friend asks me if I wanted to stay there, I told him I did but he convinced me to go where the girls were heading, the 6 of us got there in my friends car.

After 30 minutes my friends and two of the girls were making out, the girl I was talking to asked me to head outside for a smoke. I agreed. We were all having fun, I liked the groups vibe a lot, when I`m outside with the girl I know what`s going to happen. So I lean back against a wall, she places herself near me and I started kinoing a lot. First the arm, then the back pulling her closer to me, then a one arm hug like the claw; and then I faced her near me with both or my arms on her shoulders.

At this point she`s talking about what is it with kissing, why all the guys think about it and what would it change? Why would it mean anything. To wich I reply: I don`t know, let`s find out. K close.

Right after that all my buddys were already calling my cell, saying that they were inside the car and wanted to leave. So we head there, smoke a joint I had in me and the girl I k closed says we could go to her place.

My first thought was: we are all laying tonight. It`s 6 am now. One of the girls was hungry like hell and asking to go to Mcdonalld`s; this girl I k closed told her she had fries at her place; that we should go there.

So we did, she made some fries with me in the kitchen; I tryied to escalate physically for sex but the girl didn`t wanted to, she toke my hands off of her and only make out with me.

The friend that opened the set alone had sex with his girl, this is why I said before the man knows how to pick the right girl; and I ended up sleeping on a couch with this girl but couldn`t get laid.

At 9 am she wakes us up and asks us to leave, her parents could come any minute, and that`s how the night ended.

End goals:

1. I don`t feel safe saying I`m over k closing and that I have that covered yet; the girl I closed was like a 5, I wanted to lay her but couldn`t. So I`m aware I`m not there yet, gotta focus on kisses more and achieving goals step by step.
Keep going out and making out every single night, if I can close more than one girl; I should do so.

2. Since I have 2 new numbers on my cell and I already talked a bit via whatsupp and face with Euge, I have to see this girl again with time and alone to see where it leads. I aim to lay her also.

3. Never texted the girl I k closed the day after, so today I sended her a messege; she never replyied. I also want to see her again and see how far she want to get with me.

Skill set I already have:

I`m not a bad looking guy, take care of my image and I`m cool enough to hang around. Not the life of the party ( a thing I want to work on), but deffinitelly a guy who you can spend time with and won`t fuck it up.

I know how to have fun and also have smart conversations with, I can connect with a girl by telling storys and asking for her storys. I`m aware I make mistakes and lucky for me I`m being less of a dick lately. I feel less pressure out of my shoulders, even thou there`s still a lot to work on. I think this could be the reason why I hold myself back answering what kasabi told me. That`s deffinitely truth, but the reason is unknown at this point.

Things I need to do in order to achieve my goal set:

1. About k closing I must keep going out, perhaps add one more night to every single weekend I have, insted of going out once I should be going out twice in order to get better chances and more practice.

2. To ask this girl on a date I should stablish some connection on facebook; she already liked a link I posted and I liked a photo she uploaded. After some fluff talk on the chat I`m going to set the place and the time to see her directly. Let her know I want to meet in private.

3. I get the feeling the girl I k closed might not want to see me again, this vibe that she was having fun for the night and that was all. But it`s too early to tell; if she replys to my text I might add her on facebook and do the same thing I plan to do with Euge; to ask her out just the two of us.

So my upcoming tasks are:

1. To go out more, at least one more night a month.
2. To make a connection with Euge talking and right after to set a date for this same week.
3. If I end up adding Coty to my facebook to tease her a bit and ask her out on a date.

I`m exposing myself out there gentlemen, and it feels GOOD.

Read this entire page:

artful-roger-journal-vt148980-45.html

You might have fun while hanging out with your friends but as long as you remain with this group, your pick up progress will be slow. You and your friends have already identified your social roles. You chat with a few girls once in a while but you never hook them. You go in to a set, grab a number, and you skip out. Your k-close experience only occurred because 2 "left-over's" happened to meet. The girl you got is an auxiliary member of her group and you are the auxiliary member of yours. Remain with this group and you will forever be making out with left over scraps that the other guys would never touch. DO NOT call this girl back. She's below you and you know it. The only reason you are texting her is because you already 'kissed her', and you feel you are closer to fucking her. Have a 30 minute conversation with ANY GIRL out there and you'll be in the "fuck zone". Do not fear opening up a new girl. Just follow the steps and everything will work out.

Get out on your own. Go out to the park. Game the girl from your class. Add value to their lives. Create attraction. Make girls feel, "Oh my God, I hope this guy asks me out." Engage them. . . And follow what I wrote in Artful Roger's thread. (Chapter 1. Have no Fear. Chapter 2. Are you excited yet?) Do these two things to every girl you meet, over, over, and over again. If you can make this a habit, you will notice the a shift in dynamics between your male friends. You will feel a level of respect that you never felt before. They will actually listen to you as opposed to simply allowing you to talk. (Two very different things.) Currently, when you go out, you are getting a couple of useless numbers for yourself. This adds no value to your group. If you can make a habit of attracting girls TO YOU, your male friends will stick to you like glue hoping that they get handed some scrap meat that do not meet your standards. YOU need to be the guy who goes out there, attracts a girl, and gets her entire group to come meet your friends. Figure out how to create a strong CONNECTION with one girl and this will be piece of cake.






Skill set I already have:

I`m not a bad looking guy, take care of my image and I`m cool enough to hang around. Not the life of the party ( a thing I want to work on), but deffinitelly a guy who you can spend time with and won`t fuck it up.

I know how to have fun and also have smart conversations with, I can connect with a girl by telling storys and asking for her storys. I`m aware I make mistakes and lucky for me I`m being less of a dick lately. I feel less pressure out of my shoulders, even thou there`s still a lot to work on. I think this could be the reason why I hold myself back answering what kasabi told me. That`s deffinitely truth, but the reason is unknown at this point.

Things I need to do in order to achieve my goal set:

No relationship ever remains stagnant. Regardless of whether it's a relationship between 2 people who just met on a bus or a married couple of 30 years, people either become closer or push each other apart. We are always in a constate state of flux. Remember this as you converse. You might think that it's a nice thing to chat about the weather but if you are not creating attraction, you are doing the OPPOSITE of creating attraction. There is no middle ground. Every step should bring you closer to her. Numbers, dates, one on one's, etc . . .
Don't worry about K closes. I am being redundant but this is where you are now. Remind yourself all the time to: 1. Remove all her fears. (the link shows you how. If that's not enough, I'll offer more ideas.) 2. Create excitement. Do these things over, over, and over again and numbers, dates, kisses, etc . . . will naturally follow. Do these things and the 'k-close' is as simple as flicking on a switch.
1. No need for facebook.
2. Fluff talk does not lead to dates. "Date" talk leads to dates. Instead of useless chatter, chat about fun restaurants, events, museums, vacations, parks, bars, clubs, tourist traps, sightseeing, beaches, foreign countries, etc . . .
Repeat, DO NOT call this girl again.
Do not limit to night outs. Game everybody. Chat with everybody. Do the 2 steps mentioned above to everybody. Again, again, again.
Try this and let me know how it works out. Again, all it takes is a 'connection' while gaining numbers and your % rate will go way up.

This is the beginning of your odyssey right here.

I think I`m doing it wrong.

Here is the deal: Euge started sending tons of whassup messages, I reply a few times.

After reading your last post I decided to work on that method you gave me; and man I thought this would be easy. Checking her facebook photos I saw she went to Orlando, USA.

My dream journey is spending new years eve in New York, so I`ve found my link.

I asked her: I saw you went to Orlando, was that your best trip ever?
Answer: No. I went on a cruise.
Me: Still, northamerica is awesome, my dream trip is spending new years eve in New York.
She: that makes us two.

My point here is that there is this restaurant in my city with this decoration like USA`s 80`s dinner places and I love it, I wanted to get to a hook point to mention it to her.
But right after that she changed subject to something different. And yesterday I went straight for it inviting her out this weekend but she said no, that she have to study for a test.

She asked me to go on a thursday night to a club she was going to, I said no because I work on fridays. My guess is that she has a hard time saying to her parents she`s going out with a guy or going somewhere that`s not usual in her life like university. I told her Imma go see her next week at her university and she liked the idea; but the point is that I couldn`t practice the no fear and are you exited yet method.

Any more ideas on the subject to wich I can elaborate?

Thanks.

Do nothing which is of no use. - Miyamato Musashi

1. The reason to "remove all fear" is to make her feel comfortable with you. If you've gained, it move on.
2. The reason to "excite her" for an event is to 1. Get her to be excited for something . . . anything . . . and that excitement becomes associated with you. 2. And it's a simple path to set up a date.

Girls can get skittish about restaurant dates because it can feel like a date. . . it can certainly work well as long as you associate the restaurant date with a fun 'fantasy' idea like you tried to do but often, if you just blurt out, "Let's check out this restaurant," their radars start spinning. This will be her first time seeing you again after exchanging numbers. A club scene offers her a safety net because she will certainly bring her friends. Don't be discouraged. She likes you, but I think you are well aware that you didn't set up a strong foundation yet. For now, it's just logistics.

April 29th, 2013:

Things are not going well, but either way I think I`m making some real progress.

I say things aren`t going well towards results, but life is not just about results, it`s actually learning something from what you`ve experienced.

This might sound redundant, but this is another phone number I`ve got that flakes and therefore I`m ending it.

This is how things went down:

As stated before, the girl asked me to go to a particular club she was going to, in order for us to meet with her having her friends nearby; as kasabi stated. I never went there, still I managed to keep talking to her and make her meet me at her university.

This was supposed to happen today, but it`s not. 24 hs ago she texted me saying things got complicated about a job she needs to deliver by today, that we shouldn`t meet.

My reply: ufff. Fine.

From there she started texting more, in the evening asked me when was I stopping by her university to see her, if today or the day after tomorrow.

I told her today, I wanted to see her. She said fine, told me to call her near 23 pm; wich I did but she never answered the phone. Later she texted me again saying she can`t meet up with me today.

This was the second time she canceled the same date in less than 14 hours.

At this point I never answered back. She kept on texting if I was angry at her, never answered, she texted I was furious, I kept on not texting.

My take on it all: She`s 20, I`m 24 and about to become a lawyer; in the first few messeges she asked things such as: Are you interested in me? Really?
And then things such as: what are you going to do when you meet me in the university? I played a bit with just hugging; then she asked if I was only hugging her to wich I ended up replying Imma kiss the shit outta you.

I made a terrible mistake here, I thought she had some insecurityies issues, but now I just plain fed her ego. That is all she`s after for; she want`s a guy who texts her to make her feel secure and wanted; to feed her ego for her.

I neglect to be that kind of guy anymore, I was in the past and I know where it leads.

This is the end of Euge, a little girl with huge ego issues that helped me put myslef on the fool`s spot once again.

Keep on reading, keep on sarging.

Absolutely WRONG! Ego issues? Are you kidding?

If I asked you to catch an elusive cat, how would you do it? Girls are cats. . . and you are chasing this poor thing around all over the room, cornering it, getting it scared, and when it starts clawing back, you walk away saying, "Fuck you, I don't want to play with you any more."

Here's the correct way to catch an elusive cat: You casually warm up some milk like nothing is going on. Then you sit on your comfy chair, read the news paper, and you place that warm milk right by your feet. Then you wait. Maybe watch a little TV. Then you wait some more. When the cat comes over to drink up that milk, you just gently pick it up and put it on your lap. This is the way you catch women.

She asked you to go to the club with her friends because she isn't yet comfortable with you. So. . . from this 'uncomfortable state', you try to set up a one on one at her University to SEE HER? This is a fun date? This is a place where all her friends are around and you expect her to welcome a guy she met a club so she can make out with him? Think about this carefully. . . Does this scenario seem OK to you?

FOLLOW THE STEPS. Do not think. Do not improvise. Once you connect with a few girls and you realize that WOMEN REALLY LIKE you, then you can improvise. For some reason, you do not believe women will love you. You have no patience. You are not allowing the process of Pick Up to unfold. And because you do not believe in the process and you do not believe that women will ever love you, you seem INTENT on making everything happen now. You keep trying to set up a fuck date. You keep trying to make her say, "I LIKE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I WANT TO FUCK YOU." - All these things will happen. Non-verbally, these things have already happened. But my God . . . it's as if you really want these girls to say to you, "Wow, you are weird."

They will love you. They will want to kiss you. They will want to have sex with you. Relax. Trust yourself. Trust others. Trust love. Trust the process. Let it unfold. Dude, you are a young professional. You are good looking. Relax. . . every little girl that you come across is a lost child, looking for guidance. You are the guidance. Be the guide. Please stop with the "contract style date proposal".
If she changes the topic, then let her have her say. Then you just change it back. Do not improvise. Have patience. Follow the plan. Even if SHE proposes that you meet her at her University, you tell her, "Why? Are your classes really that much fun? I'm not the smartest guy in the World but I am pretty sure a 80's themed restaurant will be a lot more fun than a History Class."

Give it some time, then text her back. STICK TO THE PLAN. She will come around. You were just impatient. Not a big deal. Begin with something like, "LOL . . .apologies. Wanted to see your reaction. Wondering why our schedules are always a mismatch. Weird." - Continue with this idea. DO NOT place the blame of not meeting on her. Place the blame on of your busy schedules.

Then go right back to the original plan. "I guess hanging out at a University is boring any ways. You see your school all the time. We should go do something fun." Then you rattle off a bunch of ideas. .. pretend it's not a big deal at all. (This is warming up the milk.) Then you patiently keep offering ideas until she goes, "Wow, that sounds like fun!" . . . So you pick up the cat and you put her on your lap. Got it?

Yes, you could ditch this one and move on to another. But by principle, you need to see this one through. You need to teach yourself that your words and your behavior can be powerful. You have influence. You can, by your own will, push people away from you. (You have a habit for this) Or you can, by your own will, attract them to you. I know you can do this. All the pieces are there. It's just a choice. Do it. Follow through.

Last saturday events: 4/5/2013

An important exam is coming up in law school; this is probably the last time I go out on a saturday night before taking that test, so I`m getting drunk. That`s my call for the night, wether it`s wrong or right.

So I get with one of my buddys of the previous field report in night game and a female friend of his and a male. We buy a bottle of vodka and sprite and start drinking inside the car, the nightclub wasn`t crowded enough by the time we arrived so we had time.

Needless to say, after that bottle for 4 and two little ones to mix with more sprite I was in a drunken mood. More than tipsy.

So we enter the club, start dancing and having a blast; and as soon as we start I grab a girls hand and we start dancing. Not lucky enough, she goes back to her friends and I regret later on that same night not approaching her again. I wanted to kiss that girl badly.

Instead I kept on drinking, at some point I was outside in the smoking side of the club and I see a girls tattoo on her forearm; I compliment her about it and ask for her facebook with my cell in hand. She takes it, writes her name on it and I eject.

I talked a bit with this girl on face and she`s interested, a bit fatty thou. She`s not that attractive.

Went back in, drink some more with my new friends and then grab another girls hand for a dance; some dude was asking her hot friend to dance and I approached this girl so she won`t cockblock the guy.

Surprisingly she`s giving me tons of signals, specially the fact that as I talk to her she leaves her mouth near mine. In less than 3 minutes I was k closing her and still dancing. Shame is while doing so I sliped and feel on the ground. That`s how drunk I was, after that she wouldn`t dance nor kiss me for obvious reasons. I don`t blame her.

A couple of things: 1. Going out to get drunk is not gaming. Let`s call things for their name; what I did back in that club was being a drunk ass and I`m not sorry for it; but I can`t count this night as an advance in my game.

2. After that thought you begin to realize that pick up is a choice, one you make fully aware of yourself and your surroundings. So if I`m going to pick up, I`m not allowed to drink nor smoke weed. That`s not me, that`s not game.

Now the best part:

I met with Euge today. It was 13:00 o clock and we were at her university. I`ve tryied the: "that place`s boring" with her but didn`t worked; for some reason she feels comfty meeting there and I`m not saying no to the good stuff. It has become my mission to go out and practice with every girl I can (wich I`m planning to do with the facebook tattoo girl I met that saturday); and for the sake of it I went there anyway.

So we sat at this bench in the university`s "park", and we started talking. I had one thing in mind: to make a connection with her by making her feel safe and to exite her about any subject, then link that subject to a day 3 date idea (Kasabi style).

Being honest I couldn`t make it; she was very talkative wich is good, cause every single topic I talked about she was spelling tons of words out of it. And I don`t wanna make an excuse here, but I`ve got the feeling she was uncomfortable.

So I had one job for today: to make her feel comfortable around me. Wich I kinda did for 45 minutes (that`s how long our interaction lasted), but the girl kept insisting on that she had to go to class by 14:00 and that she was so tired and stuff.

I could tell there were some attraction; tryied to pull some kino after clawing her with my arm resting on the bench, some light touch in the arm, light kino and busting a bit her balls about going to the cafeteria to meet her friends. For some reason she wanted to keep me away from her friends, not to see me with her and I busted her balls for it. We were really near that cafeteria so my guess is that she was nerveous about any of her friends passing by.

I can`t say much more out of a 45 minutes interaction with a girl that I haven`t stated before. I looked for some complience after telling her she owed me a hug (wich we arrenged via text) and after she negged it to me I asked her to give me a kiss on the cheek.

She did, a lazy one, so I busted her balls a little more about it, and before leaving I told her I needed to ask her one more question: if at one point on the bench she was thinking about kissing me.
She said no, I asked if she wanted to find out; no again and a kiss on cheek and goodbye.

Once again, I failed; but I believe I`m building comfort with a girl that`s not used to male contact. I don`t know if she had a boyfriend a long time ago or something. I met with a girl a bit stressed and I did the best I could with my current knowledge on women. No regrets baby, no fear.

^This is wrong. Stick to the plan. Have patience. This ditzy girl is treating YOU as if you are a ditzy girl. You are joining "her show". If you can't make the plan work, then hang up the phone and do something else. There is correct strategy and there is incorrect strategy. Just because you cannot execute the correct strategy does not mean you should defer to an incorrect strategy. Much better to just do nothing. . .

^This is just plain ugly. . .

The idea is to make her join YOUR show. The idea is to RUN your show. The idea is to tell her, "What? You want to sit at a bench and chat? That's boring. . . wait. Woh. . . woh. . . I am not going to make out with you on a park bench. what do you think I am? Some cheap date?" The idea is to tease. The idea is to flirt. The idea is to have fun. The idea is to TREAT HER like the ditzy, clueless girl that she is. You need to GIVE HER directions. You need to lead her around. When she wanders off, you have to snap your fingers and make sure she stays centered. This method leads to HER LEANING OVER TO KISS YOU.

The WRONG strategy leads you back to your old habits, "Will you kiss me? Will you like me? Will you go out with me? etc. . ."

You can do better than this. Stick to your principles. Stick to the plan.

007,

Read Artful Roger's last post in his journal. Everybody is unique but I feel you both share some similarities. You both have talent. You both have attractive qualities and skills. However, neither of you have a habit for approaching women, connecting with them, and welcoming them to your World. . . until his last post. His last post is IT. . . that's the way it's done. He's lowered fear and introduced an activity that makes the girl go "wow". . . then it's simple isn't it? All of this is a choice. Run your show.

artful-roger-journal-vt148980-60.html

I am such a pussy.

I`ve been thinking about what you`ve told me lately; and also about what I`ve been doing/ am doing with my life.

First things first: I do share a connection with the man (artfulroger); might be close experiences, might be same fears, but I think it would be nice to contact the man. That`s a must do in my list.

On the other hand: at some point in my life I was really close the kind of mentality you want me to show; owning the show, welcoming everybody else into MY world and not the other way around; and at some point I started doubt myself and the fundaments of my own reality. As if it`s not so exiting, it`s not so important. That fucked up most of my interactions untill now, because I can`t be genuine neither I can add value to other peoples lives if I`m doubting every single step I make.

I`ve read his last post, I see what you mean now by stating: to make her join my show. The difference between asking someone to meet in a kind of apologetic manner; presenting as a cause that you liked where the interaction was going; than actually showing interest by proposing fun things such as starting a band.

I might even get delusional with this, but I think game is about sharing even crazy stuff with girls. To be the both of you present in the moment with each other. My sticky point in this if I may say is that I find my career boring to others, and also my choices in life such as fencing and hitting the gym. But there is the problem, the whole time it was me the problem.

It`s refreshing as a bath of cold water; I`m starting to feel secure about following up a plan and actually getting results out of it. I have a method that I apply in law schoold, toke me some time; but sure as hell gives me results.

It`s time to apply yours into my interactions with girls and see the same happen.

The facts so far:

I`m without the cellphone, its repairing. Euge never contacted me back via facebook. At this point I plain bored the crap out of her in our interactions. I thought it might be cool to talk about the wheater and such, but I never connected with her and that costed me her interest in me.

I`ve been talking a lot with the girl I met at the club and handed my phone so she could type her name in. She`s really interested and aiming for us to meet; two facts come up with this girl:

The first one is that, since she`s a bit fat and not that hot, I`m not putting as much effort as I would with a hottie. This is giving me results, but I think it`s more because she thinks I`m hot and not because I`m not showing too much interest.

The other excellent fact I noticed about myself is that, out of the blue, I asked the girl if she knew what style of dance applys more to our club venue. That I was thinking about starting dance lessons.
She answered alright, showing more interest, but as I wrote and sended that to her I noticed I was kind asking for the girl to say: "wow, you are weird" Like kasabi once told me.

This is fear, I don`t know where the roots are, but one thing`s for sure: I`m affraid of being simply me in a regular interaction with a girl and actually liking her for what I really am. It`s a way of protecting myself.

GOALS:

So I`m going out. I`m going out with this girl after the 15th, we both arranged. I have an exam on 21st; but it doesn`t matter. I think I can lay this girl and I`m going to learn as much as I can about making a girl join my world.

It`s time for me to interact with more beautiful women that I`m actually more sexually interested in because I`m doing this the wrong way. If I don`t give myself proper motivation (her being hot) how the fuck do I intent to lay girls?

Besides, my ultimate goal is to find a beuty that`s also smart and have a long term relationship with her; in order to do this I need to achieve the abundance mentality I never had. And start to make hot girls (wich make me nerveous) to join my world same as I`m going to do with Ele.

Thanks for sharing key topics to my reality, I can stress enough the help you are providing.

It`s been a long time, hope you haven`t taken me for dead yet.

Tons of stuff were going on this last month.

I`m happy to state that I have become a "Procurador" in my country, I`ve taken my last exam to become one in my law university and long story short: when you are becoming a lawyer in my country, after approving 4 out of 6 years of career, you get that degree. What you can do with it it`s to represent and act in name of other people while producing effects on that persons juridical sfere.

So since I got my degree, last night I throwed a party =)

Friday 14th June, 2013:

I knew that night I would have a blast. All good expectations I had and I was determined to have a good time and more importantly: to make other people have a blast with me.

I had people invited out of all my circles of action: work, university, poker, friends of my whole life. There were some who never got there, but really important ones were there and we laughed a lot and had tons of drinks. I promised myself that if I approved this last exam I would make a party and so I did, invited em all to a really cool bar and started buying drinks for everyone. Beer was flowing for all of my guests.

Even thou I was having a fare share of girls invited to the place and I spent time with em, my goal wasn`t to "attract" like in a single minded pick up mentality; let me elaborate.

When I`m focus on "seducing" a girl, I tend to get in a movie- like mentality of sedcution, saying stupid stuff and acting weird; like it is the proper way of doing things. This is why I fail so much at pick up, this and the fact that I`m so damn stubborn that even after being aware of those steps, I don`t change my focus at all. If you keep doing the same stuff, you`ll keep getting the same results.

Back to the party: as I was saying, a strange thing happened last night. I was providing for everyone, and my loved ones was all there to party with my and to celebrate my success on an aspect of life; I had to talk to them ALL.

I can`t stress enough how energy consuming this was; I was exhausted but having the time of my life. I would do it all over again and I`m sure I will soon.

My point being here that: what I managed to pull last night, was attractive, seductive, friendly to the males and what people around here call being alpha. My mentality on seduction all this time was focused on the girl, as if it were a one on one battle.

Imagine my surprise last night noticing that I was being seductive with the whole place, and it charmed the girls.
You don`t attract women on a battle with em, you attract women by being the fun guy around everyone else. I wish I could express myself a bit better here, but for the time being and the poor use of my words let`s just say that the way around women is a very indirect one (at least at the stage I`m at this current moment). You don`t go right in there and ask girls to kiss you, fuck you, marry you; the way I`ve been doing my whole life and getting the same poor results.
Noup, you get girls by having a blast at every single moment, let it be a party, an important accomplishment at work, a really good intervention at university or a group work that was awesome with other people.

In terms of results, last night I didn`t closed any girl, neither a kiss close nor a full one; but let`s just say I`m one step closer to girls after connecting with em with my actions.

So now I have a very simple mindset towards my goals on pick up, and it is a question that holds a lot of truth now:

Rather asking myself what to say/ how to act/ what to do around women, now I ask myself how to live every moment around girls as if it were last nights party?

How to be that guy having so much fun at doing what he likes and showing it to other people?

Now I`m totally aware that last night events were a bit different than my everyday situations, still there must be a way to become that genuine fun to be around guy and to act towards it.

I spent my last years trying to scape my work, my exams, my approachs on sets! That`s what I call a wrong mindset.

Short term goals:

From now on every single approach I make must last 10 minutes, in wich I have to show my genuine self to the girls I`m interacting with. There is no easier way to connect than that, by showing who you really are and being honest about it, girls no longer have fear around you. After that I will focus on the hooking point.

For now I need to practice spending more time in set, presenting myself the best way I can.

My biggest mistake lately has been presenting myself poorly, wich would explain why kasabi said not to approach with my mentioned friends. I tend to get in that poor mentality around em. Lucky for me last night both of these guys were there, but I was a whole different Bond; and more importantly: they recognized it.

Listen to the song. Got it? Now we are talking!

I`ve been living the good life:

So after throwing that party I commented previously, I decided it was time for me to have sex once again, I needed it. There is a time when you can doubt about whether have sex or not, this wasn`t one of those.

This girl and I go a long way, we met in highschool, about 10 years ago. Last december I layed her after meeting up like twice, we were both into each other.

She`s a 5, in top of that add the fact that she has armpit smell and you get a combo to stay the fuck away for at least 5 months. I`m not gonna say I had a great time, I`m not gonna state that it wasn`t a good night; hell, it was an easy lay and I rented a hotel room with a jacuzzi. Fuck jacuzzis, I`m not into those now that I know what it`s all about.

Well, we spent the night together, went to McDonalld`s, and fucked each other`s brains out untill my dick hurt.

This might be against my personal progress, but this girl is something different, we have built some confidence with each other talking about stuff, I even mentioned pick up to her and that I`m part of the community and she had a cool reaction, as expected. I stated to her that I`m not looking to lay every single girl that comes in my way, but that I do wanna lay tons of more girls in my close future, and also that I have a hard time connecting with women.

She asked why, I told her that I have this structured mentality, that gives me great results towards my job and my career; and that I make the same mistake trying to apply that towards women.

She said it should be all more natural, that she was flowing with the river when she encountered males and also that I should apply that kind of mentality towards the subject. It`s not that structure you follow areound women; now I already know I made a mistake applying in my past and present that same structure or method, but she couldn`t throw some light into the way of changing that actually.

So apart from my new goal of just being genuine and have a good one every time I`m around people, I HAVE TO focus on the connecting with women part, because I`m already good at removing fear.

With this I mean that I can stay in an interaction where I no longer am a threat to the girl, this builds some kind of polite confidence between us, but that`s not a good enough link with the girl and I.

I need to connect properly, the kind of confidence you get around people after seeing em for a long time, like with coworkers.

I think that if I can pull that out of an interaction with a girl on the same night, I can take her to my place.

Last thursday events:

So I`m at my job, making SPAM as usual, really happy because that same day I ended the semester and it was killing me to wake up at 7 am; and my wing texts me asking if I wanted to go out that night.

This made me very happy, I wanted to start going out more nights than I did before, to get in the habit of talking to strangers and have a good time everywhere I go, so of course my reply was a big yes.

Here is the deal: Guy arrives at my place, we start drinking vodka with orange juice but I`m only having one glass of it, I don`t want to drink anymore on my night outs. In any case I`ll have a redbull, zero alcohol.

While drinking we are playing some hands of poker, he loses and gets into this depressive mindset everytime luck is not on his favour. That was an indicator.

Anyway, 1:30 am, we head to the nightclub; once we arrived at the door we notice that there is almost no people at the smoking section. I asked one of those guys how was the club inside; he told me that it wasn`t that good.

We needed a change of venue. 2 am by now.

We get in the car, head to another club: also not crowded.
We finally get into a place with tons of people: I tell my fella: this is it. He parks the car, we get inside and I see tons of hot chicks.

When I look into my buddy`s face I notice he`s not having a good time, lack of inner game has frozen him on the venue and won`t approach anyone nor he will be social. This fucks me up, I`m counting on him to be my wingman, tons of 2+ sets and I rather not taking the heat alone.

I start feeling anxiety but I`m so convinced I can shake it off I actually do it at will now, I treat anxiety as exitement and go do my first approach. Girl dancing, I grab her hand and spin her; she stops grabbing my hand and I eject. No biggie.

Then I see this hot babe 8 giving me the eyes as she passes by, I know she`s inviting me but I don`t get the balls to go talk to her. She passes once again by me and gives me the eyes but still I feel fear and won`t say shit. This was my biggest mistake that night, I knew deep inside I could bring some real fun to her. She was down to fuck and that scared the crap outta me. I need to practice talking more to that kind of girls and actually fucking some in order to stop being affraid of those cougars.

Then, near the bar where I`m standing I see 2 girls, one with a very nice hat. I open her by saying: that`s the coolest hat I`ve seen around the venue, nice taste by choosing it. She says thanks and I notice she`s drunk as fuck; so I ask her friend: is she usually this drunk?

Her friend is a bitch, looks at me with a threatening face and says: tonight she`s a bit tipsy, being reluctant.
I know I have to focus on my girl by now, I won`t get any help from her friend and my buddy is standing outside the set looking lost.

So I keep talking to the girl while practicing some heavy kino; this was my nights goal. I start to touch her hand while laughing, making high fives and locking her hand with mine as I tease her about being from USA and speaking a lousy english.

Some really tall dudes appear and she kinda lost attention for a bit, wich made me think they both were with these guys. I end the conversation with a: nice to meet you, you are a cool girl to talk to, and eject.

Then I opened another 2 set by asking if I could join in, the girl I ask this to tells me to ask her friend; so I look at her friend and ask: so, you are the one making the calls here, right? She doesn`t seem to like me in there, and I also eject.

Now here comes the bitchy girl: My friend wants to leave, he wanted to leave since he set a foot in the place, so I agree and as we are heading off, I`m touching people to walk through the crowd, then as I`m asking for permission, a girl wont move her arm.

She gave some resistance, it called my attention. I look at her and ask her to let me pass her, she asks me: what? And I politely say: excuse me, I want to keep walking.

She looks at me and says: no. You can go that way. And points a path around her circle. I`m pissed now.

I see a male friend laughing with her and I ask the guy: is she always like this? Must be annoying. I wish she heard me, the dude laughs and says: yeah, most of the time.

Then I look at her and say something between the lines of: hope you are having fun.

I need to learn how to disarm a girl in this attitude, it really annoys me because I live in a different world; I don`t give a fuck abour her reasons: wheter she was actually a bitch or was just trying to get my attention, I rather polite people.

I have a hard time remembering that a nice comeback for this type of situations is: Damn! You ex must have loved that about you.

Anyway, Bond out. This was the poor night I had. Still: a night out is better than not going out at all.

Keep it up dude, enjoying this.

After reading through some of these I can't help but wonder if you are making the same mistake that I'm fixing now, getting the other person more into conversation than trying to force it or asking questions instead of having more of a conversation. Either way, you go at this with bravado which is awesome.

_________________
"Jaguar adults generally meet only to court and mate." -Wikipedia

Thanks for showing love, I appreciate it.
Your guess will be confirmed in this very same post, so prepare for a long one, a scared one, and my bravado attitude will go only so far; I believe now that you have to be confident for REAL in order to achieve what I want.
Please share whatever insight you might have on fixing that problem, God knows I could use it.

First night out with zero alcohol: a game changer.

We were a group of nine people, 4 of us male, the other female. All friends with my wing wich I last mentioned. We met near some bars at 12 o clock but some of the girls wanted to go eat, so we all jumped in. This kinda ruined my mood as I was going out to pick up and hit the venue, enjoy loud music and practice being present. Either way I had a Corona beer of 330 ml. and that was all the buzz I was having for the night.

We finally entered a club at 3 am, I would be untill 5 am there. When having dinner I made friends with one of the dudes wich would be my wingman for the rest of the night; my friend had a target inside his group and would approach only a few times with us.

Anyway after getting inside and checking the venue I notice some strong eye contact from a few girls; most of those girls I don`t like, like 4`s and 5`s. But there was one who was a 7. She made eye contact twice and I gave her a strong one also, but I never approached her.

You see, this is my biggest mistake. I write on a brave man`s attitude; but I`m beginning to notice that I only do cold approach on girls who have no idea who I am and sended no signal at all. This might be out of fear of actually getting good with women and trying to secure my rejection. Like I`m going straight to get rejected, and that`s something to change. So another babe sends me signals, and once again I don`t approach her out of fear of actually being well received.

My first few sets rejected me big time: the first one was asking a girl on a 4 set if they were always this shy. That was because I was with antoher 2 guys dancing near to her by 5 minutes and not doing anything at all. She laughs but doesn`t say anything as a reply, and starts talking to her friends after they asked her what did I said.

The next set was when I asked a girl if I could borrow her friend for a minute (a two set), to wich she had no problem with, but her friend did when I tryied to pull her hand and dance.
Another set exactly like this one. I`m getting frustrated now.

Then I see to girls writing on her cellphones next to the bar, lonely and bored they seem. So I tell my friends: I`m going in.

I approach the two set straight up and talk to my target. "Woow! You seem like having a lot o fun! What do you girls think about going to the dancefloor with me and my friends and have a blast?" While pointing at my wings, then they both jump in.

My target starts talking to me, saying thanks but no, thanks. So I tease her about it; "Oh! Thanks, that will surely do (smile on my face), I`m come here to invite you to have fun and you give me a thanks back."
She starts qualifying herself and saying we are not the first to approach em, all of those guys with the same results.

At this point I knew I wasn`t being able to dance with this girl that night, but I could go for a phone or a facebook. So with that idea in mind i told her that I same thing: that I knew I wasn`t convincing her for a dance, but that I would really enjoy to keep that conversation some other time. If she wanted to give me her phone number or facebook we could actually do it.

She was ok with the idea and told me she could give me her facebook and we`ll take it from there. I asked her face name and she gave it to me. Eject.

After writing the face on my cell I noticed I became happyier; I`m like a child with my mood: if I get rejected tons of times, I get in this poor mindset of not wanting to do it anymore; when on the other hand, if I get a phone, a kiss, a face I get in a happy mood. This is not good, my state shouldn`t be this emotionally dependant.

Next thing I see is a group of girls saying things to each other, and I notice one of em (hb 6) talking to her friends but looking at me. So I look at her witha strange look on my face and I try to pull her in with my finger asking for her to appraoch. She does and when she was saying something I can`t remember, suddenly one of her friends jumps into the set and tells me: You are really well groomed.

This set had like 5 girls, all of wich screamed when she told me that, and I hate to say this: but it totally disarmed me. I have a problem when I`m approached by girls or they show some sign of real interest in me.

So after she saying this I told her we should dance, she said no but she wanted. I insisted, she told her friend she wanted to dance with me and my wing, I said no problem; but since I`m such a poor dancer and my friend is too, we kinda fucked up and the girl let go of our hands. My wings started to talk to other girls of the group while I was standing as if I were lost. I hate that feeling and doing it on the dancefloor, but I haven`t figured it out how to stop that.

My last set gave some insight about the quality of my game at this point: the wing I met that same night asked me to follow him into this 2 set. Of course I said.

Of course, he grabbed the hb 6 for a dance, while leaving me with an older women hb 5. I asked her to dance also, but since she had a bottle of beer on her hand and a glass on the other, I told her no problem, we can talk and leave our friends to have fun for a while.

She totally agreed, she was really nice. I loved that.

I introduce myself, she says her name for me, and I try some cold reading on her. I tell her: let me guess...
You come here often! She smirks, likes what I did, and says yes. So I tell her: it`s your turn.

She thinks, laughs, and tells me: you don`t come often in here.
I call her on what she did on that, we both have a laugh, and then I froze up. I wasn`t getting any good idea out of my head. She notices, I tell her: see? I`m out of guesses now! I froze up; so she was nice enough to ask me if I was born in this town. Told her I did, asked her and she had me guessing where she was from, made it easy for me. Then I tell her it was very nice to meet her and kiss her on the cheek.

My thoughts on the night without drugs and alcohol:

1. When it comes to approaching, the one set that went well was because I somehow removed the girl`s fear like kasabi told me before, by simply teasing the girl on giving me crap about not dancing. Like you can turn her response to your invitation into a nice conversation and she will be more comfortable around you; this leaves you with a much better set because now it`s actually responding to you and showing interest.

2. Game without buzz is way harder than I thought, but I made a decision now of doing so and start to actually lear it the proper way. If one night I wanna get drunk I will and not try to learn pick up, just have fun while drinking. But when I`m out to practice I NEED to be sober.

3. I`m forcing conversations with girls and girls notice it. This can`t be good, I didn`t even mentioned at the field report but in the same set that I was told I was well groomed, I had a conversation with another girl wich ended up with me asking to her: so you have that philosophy on the subject? To wich she gave me a stranged face and ejected back to her friends. That can`t be the proper way of talking to girls.

4. STOP TALKING LIKE A LAWYER.
I pretend to be this guy with great vocabulary, and I`m a show off with strangers. I beleive it brings me value when it actually lowers it by communicating others how insecure I am that I need validation from strangers.