So here's something I've noticed a lot with my guy friends:

We are hanging around a friend's house on a Saturday night: making jokes, being comfortable with each other, smiling and having a good time otherwise. That is ..until one of our friends who is a girl brings a new "friend" to the gathering who happens to be a really hot girl HB8-9. All of a sudden you see some guys stiffen up, they stop laughing and having fun- and just 'play it cool' as it were in front of the new chick. They act unimpressed, and some guys actively ignore her because they think that 'not drooling over the her' will separate them from the rest of the pack. I'm sure they do this in an attempt to DHV but I'm just not convinced that it accomplishes this. Acting aloof can definitely lend itself to building sexual tension and get the girl thinking, though.

The other side of this coin is that guys can continue to be friendly and playful and smile and be 'themselves', (though a lot of guys lack the natural easiness around hot women). But let's assume that they do manage to continue being easy-going. A lot of PUA literature speaks to how guys who are having fun by themselves (in the club or at any social event, really) tend to attract women. But then again, they laid back approach (being friendly and playful) might put you in danger of being friend-zoned. How can anyone escalate effectively using this paradigm?


Do you prefer one approach over the other, or is it all situational - aka - does one approach work better in a certain setting or with certain types of girls? If so please elaborate.

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Preston's Game Log - Please critique

Personally, I think it's much easier to attract women if you're going for the fun vibe whilst with them. Aloof has to be done very well to work - stiffening up and ignoring a girl isn't acting aloof. How is she going to be attracted to anyone who simply ignores her, especially if there are other lads in the group who are giving her a good time - which one is she most likely to be going back with?

Aloof might mean not talking too much, and retaining an air of 'mystery' - again, that is fine, but don't take it so far that you're not actually saying anything.

I think the main thing to do is be yourself and enjoy being yourself. If you're naturally a very bubbly person, be very bubbly. If you're naturally a more brooding type of person, be more brooding. I think most of us are somewhere in between, so rather than worry about tags such as this, just be yourself and fit in somewhere between the two - she'll either like it or not, but who cares? There will be plenty of girls who do like it, even if this one girl doesn't.