I know that there are no final answers for these kind of questions, but I'd like to hear some opinions.

What do you think about opening (or saying shortly after) with a compliment like, for example, the PUA's dreaded but very honest "Hi, I think you look amazing" or "Hi, I like your eyes" or even "Hi, I love the way you dance".

I think it can be refreshingly honest at times, but do you think it's at high danger of putting you as the chaser and her as the prize?

What's your opinion/experience?

There is a final answer for these kind of questions, the answer being don't ever compliment a woman on her looks. Of the three openers you mentioned only the third would a PUA ever contemplate using.

As you correctly identified, you make her the prize. As soon as she's established you are into her, it means that you have less value than her. Why would she then hook up with someone beneath her?

Compliments, if issued at all, should be non-sexual and as a reward for something she did. You can also compliment her something she's not sure about. For example, you can say "I like what you did with your hair". That's completely different from "you have beautiful hair".

_________________
Re-wire her subconscious mind, seduce ANY girl:-

http://www.amazon.com/Arcana-Seduction- ... B00CTPZQCQ

Thanks for your reply.
It makes me think:

However, if you walk to a girl -or stop a girl walking by- to say something, anything, isn't it implied you like her?
How often would you walk or stop a guy passing by? Almost never, I suppose...

I mean, if you walk to her saying "I like what you did with your hair", I think she would, most of the times, translate that with "this guy likes me".


At this point, wouldn't complimenting her for her looks be just more frank?

Stop thinking so logically lol

It depends on what kinda game you're running. If you're out at a club or bar etc (or gym, that's included in night-game, regardless of opening hours,) then yeah, opening with a compliment is a bad idea. She's gone out knowing she looks good, and she's around 50 other guys who are all telling her exactly the same. By telling her this, you just make yourself "another one of them," throwing you straight on the reject heap.

Day game though, this is valid. In the high street or a coffee bar or something like that, chances are she's just gone out to do something she needs to, as opposed to something she wants to. She won't get any other guys opening with this level of honesty, and it'll separate you from the hundreds of guys she passes on the street that stay quiet. Day game also has higher chance of turning into an Instant Date, maybe talking her into getting a coffee with you right there and then so you can talk more.

It all depends on context

_________________
Please Hold.

I can't help it


I agree the context is important.
But also the way you say is important, so you could also have club contexts when it could be OK.
Like you look deeply to a girl and say "I like your eyes".

Just as an example, the other day there was this girl leaving with her friend, she was behind her friend, hardly a good situation where a girl would stop by for you.
I just said "you're a great dancer", which was true, and she stopped there and the next couple of questions where from her, not from me.
Can hardly think of something else that would have made her stop there by her own accord.

the real question is how needy are you, do you need some random girl you don't know to validate you, do you need her to show you acceptance, or are you ok with not getting her acceptance in order to find a girl who is worth your acceptance

I actually think compliment openers can work if they are EXTREMELY OVER THE TOP. Yes, I put that in caps on purpose. Hey, you have pretty eyes is unlikely to be successful, it is boring. Going up to a girl and being completely over the top complimenting her eyes comes off as confident and sometimes quite funny and also acts as a neg at the same time ... I generally do not go this route, but if you are going to compliment, go overboard so she builts up a little insecurity about whether you are serious or not and it comes off as more confident

_________________
http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

IMO, it depends. I would not open with a compliment unless I had already gotten IOIs.

Compliments should be tasteful, specific, and true.

"You have the most amazing ass!" is not tasteful.
"You are so beautiful!" is not specific.

I should also note that I'm a daygamer so what the above posters have said about compliments being off at night may be very true.

So you are saying it doesn't really matter if you have a good frame?

That would be my opinion as well, but with almost everybody frowning upon compliments I'm starting to have some doubts.

How to be direct without a compliment though.. ?

Like, for example.. ?

So how do you go about in daytime approaches?

I think at night it's almost obvious you are approaching because you'd like the two of you getting together somehow, so you can do without a physical compliment, but in daytime it's not always so...

if the first thing you do is compliment a woman on her looks it sows you(in her eyes) to be shallow. It almost puts a woman on the defensive because her first thought is something like "all he wants to do is fuck me." it is better to compliment on clothing, jewelry, tattoo's, hair or body language. Hair, jewelry and clothing compliments are fantastic for getting early kino's. SHe has a beautiful bracelet,m necklace or earrings, you reach and compliment on her item and you can get a kino in very easily. Tattoo's are perfect for this. I met a girl last night she had a tattoo on the back of her neck. I was able to brush her hair aside and lightly trace the back of her neck while checking out the tattoo, she shivered a bit(in a good way) at my light touch. Places like the neck ears, wrists legs are somewhat sexual to a woman. touching them with good reason is a great way to sexualize the conversation or get her warmed up.

Imagine a few good timed kino's like the back of a neck, or ears and then just drop off. Continue that rotation a few times every 5-10 minutes and she will get excited if you do it right. But you have to present yourself as a bit of a "touchy feely" guy to pull it off. Always have a reason, dont just stare and go for it, thats creeper territory.

Compliments should never be used in a bar/club, but are fair game anywhere else.

Like most the dudes above me have noted - the more specific and believable, the better.

_________________
Preston's Game Log - Please critique

yes
this is going to be long, TL;DR at bottom

just imagine from the other side of things, a girl walks up to you and gives you a compliment, how does that make you feel, it's more or less the same thing,

the more a person gets compliments, the more repetitive they become, think of it like a question, just like ''how are you doing?'' or ''what's new?'', something that people would use to talk with you over and over, when it seems disingenuous it is sort of boring, you know bob from where ever doesn't give a shit how you are doing, he just wants to talk to you, so if you like bob then you will talk to him, and if you don't like bob, you probably are going to do what you can to get out of talking to him

after a while it tends to get old and redundant when you see the same old social song and dance from people, ''hey how's it going?!, what's new?!, do you see the weather out side, ohh boy!! sure is a nice/shitty day?'' but it isn't like you get upset or disgusted or anything, or you seriously dislike a person just because they want to have a boring conversation with you that you can see a mile away, especially when you've just met them, it's just when you get that feeling they have nothing of value to bring to a chat but want to have a chat just for the sake of having a chat cause they want something from you (i.e. you are the cure for their boredom, but they are going to be boring to talk to)

it's same thing with compliments, if done in a way were it doesn't seem like a boring conversation looks to be coming from a mile away because you are needy, then it's actually pretty exciting to be complimented, and if it is done in a weird and random sudden awkward way it can be confusing or seem weird and make you unsure of what is going on, and even if it is done in a boring way sometimes it still feels nice to get a bit of validation from others around you, just like sometimes if some person you don't particularly care for makes small chat with you, you might humor them for an epically long conversation about something you don't care about just for the sake of a conversation

just think of it like this, you are at a club and this is the worst case scenario, some extremely nervous unattractive overweight girl comes over to you, she is pure red in the face, you can tell she is nervous because she is visibly shaking, she walks over to you and it doesn't even really register until she is actually in front of you, in a quiet little mouse voice, she barley manages out her words, they are pretty rushed, she say's ''hi, just wanted to let you know I think you're hott'', then she just sort of freezes there in spot and has no idea what to say now to you, the best you will probably see for conversation out of this girl for the next 10 minutes would likely be very simple rigid uptight conversation with her tripping all over her words and having a bad case of the giggles while fidgeting (basically just seems obvious that she is uncomfortable around you), or just her more or less kissing your ass because she is too nervous to think of anything else besides what she first said to you

now, what will become of the above situation do you think? is this a situation where you think it would end up in some long conversation where you really get to know a new person and connect with them?

now otoh, lets say same situation, but you are at a club, the hottest girl you have ever seen in your life walks over to you, already has you looking at her before she even says anything, she talks to you like she has already known you for years and just says, hey, you're pretty hot, blah blah blah, and then she just starts chatting with you and you introduce each other and realize you have some things in common, it's no big deal, she's not weird doing random stuff that seems forced makes you feel uncomfortable and she isn't nervous to the point of being a mess or kissing your ass in an aimless conversational loop, she even has some interesting stories that you can relate to and is sort of funny from time to time, and on top of being hot and cool, she finds you attractive and you know you have got a chance, it's like you just won the lottery

now, how do you think this situation is different from the 1st one? do you see where I am going with this?

it's the frame, not the compliment

adding some sort of benefit to the situation between the two of you can spark more of an interesting situation that is more exciting to continue with, and a compliment can be very useful, you can find out rather quickly by qualifying a person if they are interested or not in what they are qualified for,

but OTOH you can slip into a platonic conversation with someone and give them a chance to see more benefit to talking with you before qualifying them because they may not initially be interested in what they are qualified for

it's sort of like finding an applicant for a job, if the job has great value like working high up in microsoft for a 6 figure paycheck, you might have more applicants that just already want the job due to the reputation and appeal that they know the job has, OTOH some random new start up computer company might not have anyone interested in working for them until they find out that the staff is amazing, they offer great benefits and there is a staff gym at work, WTF A GYM??!!? ZOMG WANT TO WORK THERE NOW!!

this is that whole debate about the mystery method and direct game is, where people nitpick about the mystery method assumes you are ''lower value'', while the indirect camp just randomly makes ludicrous statements like, ''OMG YOU CAN'T COMPLIMENT HER, IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!! SHE'LL CUT YOUR BALLS AND KILL YOU CHILDREN!!''

either or are fairly irrelevant, for the most part a girl will either be interested in you or not, stating your intentions off the opener or not doing so are fairly irrelevant as long as you use to social acuity, depending on the situation either of them can make a girl more or less interested in a conversation or more or less comfortable with you, approaching a girl in front of 20 people and yelling ''DAMN GIRL, YOU'RE SEXY, CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME HEAD?'', is almost certainly going to result in you getting blown out even if she is really attracted to you, while OTOH going up and talking about arbitrary shit to a stranger for no reason out of the blue without trying to escalate the situation more towards your actual intentions is also going to almost certainly go no where fast

/end giant marathon epic novel of a post

cliffs
-doesn't really matter

-girl either sees benefit to talking with you or doesn't

-you will have to qualify a girl in every single pickup you ever do in your whole life that you lead, eventually regardless of how you open, so looking for ''how to be direct'' without complimenting a girl is sort of a masochistic quest, however you can compliment her on something besides her looks

-you can also just use something along the lines of ''I like you *insert reason why*'', doesn't really matter what it is, the point is she feels accepted by you and knows why, if you don't want to qualify a girl based on how she looks, just the good old, you're cool, you're making me start to fall for you, wtf you can do the splits? MARRY ME!!, not really though, what ever it is, the more honest you are about if you truly like it, the more ''direct'' it is, straight to the point NOMSAYIN?

In England we have a famous Portugese soccer manager called Jose Mourinho who has been nicknamed "The Special One" by the media. So I had an idea of a compliment:

Me: You know, you remind me a lot of Jose Mourinho
HB: Really? Why?
Me: Well out of all the other girls here you seem to be "The Special One."

What do you guys think? I haven't tried it out yet.

Eheheh great post, many very good insights.

I agree with the fact that most times it doesn't really matter, but when what I was mostly thinking about were compliments that move (or even end) the interaction quickly, like either as the opening (the classical approach saying "I think you're cute and wanted to introduce myself") or because of the context (sexual one) or because of the way they have been delivered.