So, I've been FWB with this girl for about five months now. Without going into specifics, we never really had any "talks" we just hung out as friends and she would stay over 1-3 nights a week. Let's just say she treated me very well - I rarely doubted her interest in me. Earlier this week, a mutual friend tells me that she lost her cellphone, so I reactivate facebook to get ahold of her. After a brief conversation about nothing, I don't hear from her for a few days, until I get a message like this last night (paraphrasing):

"hey I'm not sure what we are but I know I really like you, but I don't think I can do this anymore because the end of the semester is coming and it's going to be too hard to say goodbye, so I think it's best if we just end it now"

I sent back something like "yeah i figured that's what was up with you, I just enjoyed the time I spent with you and wanted to get the most of what time we have left. i don't really know what it is either but I think it deserves more than a facebook message" then I deactivated my account.

I normally don't use facebook, and this is one of the reasons.

Regardless, I'm pretty sure there's nothing I can actually do to salvage it now. Last weekend, she went home for her sister's wedding, and I wouldn't be surprised if shitty advice from her friends/family got to her. I think the last part of my message was a bit hostile, but I personally hate when people (see: young girls, she's 20) resolve things via text/message. So whatever. If you guys have any advice now, aside from see other girls (I am, don't worry, I just didn't want to lose this one yet), I'm all ears.

she has done the job for you. Just let it go. Besides, I think you messed up your relationship by hanging out with her too much. That sounded a lot like a relationship....

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I was actually considering a relationship with her. Hence, with the circumstances, I don't want to just "let her go". The general advice I keep getting is to just let her come around... would there be any merit in actively pursuing her? I mean, I would like to stay friends/on good terms if nothing else.

I guess you never appreciate what you have until it's gone. I've dealt with plenty of rejection, but never for the "I like you too much" reason.

she has said her peace. Pushing it any further doesn't seem beneficial. She has to change her mind on her own. Actively pursuing a disinterested girl will result in you pushing her further away. She is human after all. And she feels like this is the best thing for the situation. She has logically come to the conclusion of why this is a good thing or why she feels like this is the best choice.. I don't think you can change that over a short period of time. Just keep working on yourself and keep on gaming until then.

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This is the only thing I don't agree with. See, all signs and sources point to that she is not disinterested, but rather EXTREMELY interested. As a matter of fact, I shouldn't have left this out, but the night after she sent that message she showed up to my party. I wasn't sure what to do, so I just hid out in my room for a bit, and called one of my girlfriends in to keep me company. I hear later from a mutual friend that she had planned on talking to me that night about this whole thing, but became upset when finding out I had another girl in the room.

So, Assertive, while I do appreciate your advice, and it is the same exact advice I would give when a girl moves on out of disinterest, I hope you can understand this is a bit of a unique situation. Regardless, you do have merit in saying she came to that decision on her own, although I suspect her older sisters (and their very strong influence) had a lot to do with it. I hear from a mutual friend that they were jumping to conclusions (only having met me once) because of my age (i'm 29, she's 20).

As far as I see it, I have nothing to lose. There's only three weeks left in the semester, and then it's likely I'll never see her again. At the very least, I want to stay in touch; when this girl grows up a bit, she's got real potential.

Figured I'd update on how this turned out.

So, in spite of Assertive's advice, I pushed for a meet up via fb messages / mutual friends (remember she doesn't have her phone) and encountered resistance. I was throwing some AFCish stuff out there (I like you too and really miss you, etc), figured it couldn't hurt, and it was honest. She went out of town for the weekend, and on monday I told a mutual friend that I was going to see someone else on Thursday and the HB7 had until then to talk to me.

On Tuesday night, she showed up at my place. Long story short we did the nasty for a good hour or so and "talked" a few things out - mostly me doing the talking, explaining my polyamorous ways of dating multiple girls, and telling her why she was important to me (as if showing wasn't enough). Since then, contact has still been limited obviously but everything seems fine, she came to my party the following Friday and we were good, but she didn't stay because her female friend was visiting. Saturday I had a few people over, and her group came over for a bit and we made out and stuff.

Regardless, she's been de-prioritized lately (I scolded her for her initial facebook message) but we'll see where things go. Not too worried about it anyways, because I've gotten a couple more good (and better) prospects since.

Girls don’t like such type of reactions. I don’t think what you did was correct. You were harsh and selfish with that decision.

Which decision was that? I'm not sure what exactly was harsh or selfish.

I certainly admit I really don't know what I'm doing in this situation. But as of now, I'll just it (and her) alone. It was fun while it lasted.