I wanna hear everybody's most badass pickup stories; crazy unexpected incidences, that lead to multiple STDs and broken faces etc. SHOOT

These were all in the past month, overall i used to have a mental time in London, going to this club south of the river, always used to get four or five kiss closes in one night and number closing chicks a lot older than me, i was 18/19. Used to get a bit edgy though with fights and people getting stabbed outside the club for no reason, but was a good time.

This is actually a story before I started PUArtistry, but still worth hearing I guess

I was travelling in Spain, Barcelona to be more precise. Some people from the hostel I stayed at were going out for a bar crawl, me included. On the crawl, I met a 3set of US chicks. I started talking to them and we got back to the hostel soon after, with plans to go clubbing later on. While having a beer, I was sitting next to one of them and she was rubbing the inside of my leg, didn't even have to escalate things myself...
Fast forward an hour and we're at the club. The music was pretty terrible which provided us with a good laugh... I danced nonetheless, I'm a brilliant dancer when it comes to goofy and cheesy moves; I love making a fool of myself.
Some guy came along who was wearing a hat with wings on the sides, textbook peacocking I guess. She pointed it out, I then asked him if I could borrow his hat. Looking back, I think I smoothly befriended the cockblock and even profited from his peacocking... High five to past me! Anyway, I kept dancing, turned her around, pulled her towards me and we started making out, first right on the dancefloor, then in a more secluded area. I then told her "Let's get a taxi back to the hostel", she even payed for it But it was not until now that the crazy part starts.

First, we went into my room (shared room, 8 beds) and started making out, I took off her top (the room was empty), and then, some people entered. She was a bit embarrassed, so we moved to the small balcony to catch some fresh air. Not long after we went out there, some half naked French guy started pressing himself onto the windows, making faces. It was hilarious xD A few minutes later, we had already gotten back to making out, he also came to the balcony, completely unannounced. He was wearing underpants and put a towel on his shoulders and loudly announced, with a heavy French accent, "I am Captain Jack Sparrow!" He then excused himself very politely. I ended up fucking her in the shower, because that was the only empty room available... But I'll always remember the French guy. Fucking brilliant.

This is a story of what almost happened, that everyone agrees would have been one of the most triumphant stories of all time had it not been for a medical emergency. I guess close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, but here it is anyway.

I've been involved in BMX riding (specifically flatland) since I was 16. To this day (I'm 31) I have only met four girls who ride BMX, but well over 200 guys. By "met" I'm talking at least on a personal level; introduce myself, shake hands, discuss flatland, etc. The ratio of girls to guys involved in this sport is even more askew than that, I would guess in the neighborhood of 1:500.

When I was 28, I took my first trip to Austin, Texas for a BMX event known as the Team McDuff Jam. Austin is like a BMX Mecca; tons of riders, lots of street spots, The 9th Street dirt trails, and the world famous Oltorf Garage are all within minutes of one another. None of my friends came with me; they all had their excuses. So I took the nine hour drive by myself. I had arranged to stay at a friends house, along with another BMX rider from Austin, and a rider from Tokyo.

Upon arriving I found out that it wasn't just the three of us. I was walking from the kitchen to the bathroom when I almost ran her over. About 5' 7", 130 lbs. Just the right balance of having curves and maintaining an athletic build. PLENTY of tattoos, and very... busty. I'd put her as a solid 8. The first thing that crossed my mind? "Damn! Josh's girlfriend has some huge titties!" Yes, I actually thought "titties". And for some reason, I assumed this was the girlfriend of the home owner, as the other guys were married. After all, why else would she be there? I was wrong. This chick was there to ride, and that alone bumped her up from an 8 to a 10. Along with me and the guy from Tokyo, we were the only out of towners. Everyone else was an Autin local.

I had no intention of running game, for a few reasons. I thought I knew my limits, the top echelon of my "league". She was well beyond that. She's from Cleveland, I'm from New Orleans, and she was seeing someone. She received more attention than she wanted the entire weekend, and it was easy to see that it was an annoyance to her. Like I said, she was there to ride, not hook-up or even party. And this was a vacation for me. Vacations for me are relaxing, not exciting. So, I just treated her like a rider, and a friend. For four days we hung out, rode, saw the city, goofed off, partied a little (neither of us is big on drinking or drugs), and got into shenanigans, all with a large group of BMX riders, all of them men, 90% of them hitting on her. When it was all over, I ended up with her phone number so we could keep in touch, and added her to my FB list. Then I drove home after one of the best weekends of my life.

A few days pass, and she and I had been chatting quite a bit. I find out that her boyfriend actually lived in Atlanta, and when she left Austin she went strait to his house. And she was pissed. He was kind of lazy, just sitting around the house when she wanted to go out, not paying her any attention, not fostering their relationship, etc. So instead she was on iChat with me (might have been SPAM) while he was busy playing World of Warcraft. She had convinced herself that she should leave him, but wanted me to affirm her decision. It was her last time in Atlanta.

I'm not sure how it came up, but we both decided that New Orleans is the greatest town on Earth, and she should come visit me for a few weeks. There is plenty to do here, the weather in November is freakin' incredible compared to the ice and snow in Cleveland, and we know we get along well so it would be a rad time. Up to this moment, I wasn't sure if I was in the friend zone or not. Honestly, I would have been fine with it. Unlike most cases of being friend zoned, this girl actually makes a good friend. During our scheming she made it abundantly obvious I was not. We planned out the entire two weeks. I cleaned my house and washed my car. She bought her ticket. She emailed me the flight itinerary and which flight she would be on. She had already bought tickets online to see the Audubon Zoo (one of the coolest zoo's in the country; she's big on animals and such, totally her idea) and had me print them out. This was it. I was going to score the hottest girl in flatland BMX. I would be a sexual god amongst men in the BMX world.

But like the first sentence says, this is a tale of almost. Remember those big titties I mentioned? Well, they were't real. Oh sure, they're tangible, and they move nicely when she dances. But they were implants. About two weeks before she was set to leave, one of her implants began to leak, no doubt from a BMX crash. She couldn't afford the trip. Things just kind of went downhill from there. I was no longer fresh in her mind. A few weeks later and she met some dude. And the beat goes on.

One thing remains an unequivocal certainty; this would have been the greatest chick, not so much based on looks, but because she is so sought after. Imagine the after party of a large BMX event. 50 male riders show up to the after party, and the one girl who was also involved in the event is also there. She's pretty, fun, fit, and every guy in the room already has an in, and already knows they have something in common with her. Trying to score a 10 in a night club? Bitch please. Though honestly, whatever I did right must have been so subtle that I don't even know what it was.

Here's a pic:

like you said, close only counts in horse shoes, hand grenades, & wet dreams

But it was a certainty, and that should count for something.

My best story (and only one that I'm both a bit embarrassed by nowadays but at the time was quite a good one to tell the lads) is this.

Massive house party during my second year at university. I got chatting to this girl from Liverpool. Really hot. Really drunk as well. Ended up getting her alone in the kitchen and made out. Went upstairs and she gave me a blowjob in one of the bedrooms.

A little while later a load of us left to go to a club - I knew about half the people going and had never seen the other half. So at this club I got chatting to another girl who was a friend of a friend that I had chatted to once or twice, but never anything more than a "hi, how you doing" type exchange. She was also from Liverpool, but at UK universities two girls from the same city is not exactly anything strange. Ended up kissing her and then going back to her house with her.

We were having sex and she got a phone call, she ignored it, but lots of ringing and then lots of banging on the front door. Turns out her sister was staying over that weekend and obviously couldn't get in. So she pulls on a gown, goes to the front door, leaves me in bed. Comes back upstairs, we finish off.

Next morning we go downstairs together, and you had to walk through the living room to get to the kitchen. We did that, sister asleep in an absolute mess on the sofa but couldn't see her face. Just getting a glass of water when the sister makes a noise and has clearly woken up. I turn around and it's the girl who I had got with at the house party.

We looked at each other. I saw her look at her sister who was pouring some milk on her cereals and had her back turned. The drunk sister sort of raised her eyebrows a bit and I could tell she was thinking through the possible scenarios of how all three of us were there...

I just turned round and said "hey, sorry I'm going to have to shoot, thanks for the water" and rushed out of there bloody quickly. That was not a conversation I wanted to stick around for! Thankfully I only ever saw the friend-of-a-friend girl once more in my time at uni, and that was across campus so I made sure to steer clear!

Haven't had much to tell this year but had one last year.

I was at a party on a Friday night. Dressed well (GQ) and two of my friends were there. Now growing up, in high school I was quite the loner and socially awkward geek. Well, this party was during my second year of college and I had changed a lot. I dropped around 40 pounds and I dressed a lot more stylish. One of my friends was a guy I met in college and another was one who knew me in high school. We start talking to each other and then more people start arriving and I see these three girls. One was a cute ginger and her friend looked kind of exotic (Middle Eastern or Indian looking), the other girl in the group was a Asian-White mix that was sending me all kinds of signals. I had to approach!

I approached the set and started up a conversation. "How are you guys liking the party so far?" is what I said. Now both of my friends are at a distance looking at me because they are too scared to approach but I do it. The ginger is being the cockblock here giving me a hard time, sad because she was the cute one too.

Well, I keep the conversation up and this one girl (Asian-White) comes in and says, "I have heard a lot of stereotypes about Indian men from my friends". I reply saying "spend some time with me and you will have some new stereotypes to talk about".

I end up taking the Korean-White mix home and we had sex. She had a VERY EXOTIC look to her. Like she didn't have many Asian features except for the Asian looks and she could EASILY pass for a Latina. Best sex I ever had.

That my friends is why I love America. Really inclined to post pics of her right now!

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I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

This story is a lucky fluke. This was before I have heard of anything about PUAs, I was just a sophmore in college, fresh out 20, just my goofy self with a carefree attitude about life. Her name was Jackie, about 28 years old, a solid 9 mixed Hispanic and soon to be CEO of an USAA branch in my town. She was taking Calculus for her promotion and was in my class the whole time. I didn't know because I've never showed up for class except for test date. On our first exam, I went in and took the test, she ran in late and sat at the desk right in front of me. She bumped into my desk and knocked off all my stuffs. She picked them up as she was saying sorry to me. I was stunned by her exotic look, but still calm enough to tease her "That's my lucky pencil, if I fail this test, it's all your fault!". She smiled back, that was it, we carried on with our exams and I left before her.

I didn't even try to game her, I was just too busy partying and not showing up for class until the next exam. I showed up early this time and there she was walking into the classroom like she owned it, all the guys were looking at her. She proceeded to the desk next to me and sat down. She asked me how did I do on the last exam, I said I failed (which I didn't) and she owed me a dinner. She laughed and said okay and suggested we should study together sometimes. After that day, I occasionally showed up in class and she kept texting me to plan our study sessions. We talked, teased each other quite a lot, I did some slightly sexual kino and she was receptive. She asked me over one day so she can make me that dinner. I said "You'd better good at cooking or I'm gonna have to spank you". Dinner went well, I made some excuse about her cooking and did indeed spank her in a joking manner. Oh boy that was the nicest ass I've ever spanked.

Next exam, we both finished at the same time, she offered to take me home (I didn't have a car at that time), I teased her in the car because it was manual, I was like "I don't like manual, you can't hold my hand while driving!" She laughed and proved it. She held my hand for a few seconds then left her hand on my lap. We got to my house, she said if she could come up because she had to use the restroom. (Note: I didn't know anything about PUA back then, so I had no clue she was giving me so many IOIs) So I thought she was for real. I showed her the bathroom and went to my room to change. She walked in on me with my boxer on and giggled because I had a pink boxer on. I asked her why is that funny. She said we were matched. I told her I don't believe her unless she proves it. She pulled down her skirt showing me her lace pink panties. And it was on. That was one of a few most amazing sex I've had.

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During summer break from highschool my cousin(ERIK) and I went to go live with our grandparents for work.
So I ended up getting a postion in McDonalds(My cousin ERIK got a position at Dairy Queen which was across the street). There was 3 girls who were my targets for the 2 months I was going to be there. Names for the Story: HB GF,HB Freak, HB Cousin.

Ok so all 3 girls worked on different shifts. HB Freak worked on the afternoon shift with me. She had a cousin who worked in the morning(HB Cousin). HB GF worked part time mostly on days I was off and was the best friend of HB FREAK.

(Before I met HB GF,HB Cousin)
HB Freak(who has a BF) liked to tease me and there was sexual tension since day 1. I had been working for a week and decided it was time to start getting busy with the gaming. HB Freak would blow me kisses at random times at work. She would also come up to me and act like she was going to kiss me only to back off a couple of centimeters from my face. So one day while it was slow at work she comes to do the same BS again but this time I grabbed her so she couldnt back out and kissed her. I pulled out and went to go get some fries out of the freezer(isolation opportunity). She followed and we hooked up for 10 min. I left it at that and made it seem like it did not phase me what so ever.

Next day ERIK, HB FREAK, HB GF and I were off. HB Freak wanted me to go to her house and HB GF was with her. So I brought my cousin with me. When we got there and i finally met HB GF i was digging her and HB Freak knew it but she didnt really care since she was digging my cousin. We bullshit for a little while outside then end up in HB Freaks room. I told HB Freak to give us a tour then when we got to her room I decided to get on her bed and start watching TV. HB Freak followed then ERIK then HB GF. So all four of us were on this bed and my cousin and I knew shit was about to go down.
So I start kinoing the hell out of HB GF and my cousin does the same with HB Freak. Both of us end up getting blow jobs. I did hit some resistance with HB GF but since her friend was taking a mouth full she warmed up to the idea.

-Fast forward 2 weeks-
HB GF is now my GF (with an experation date)
ERIK is messing with HB FREAK since she has a BF
So I finally get to talk to HB Cousin during shift change. Thats when i learn she is HB FREAKS cousin. I just made a GF but my morales were destroyed in a relationship a couple of months before that. So i start gaming her. Number closed her because she knew HB FREAK and we were cool. I was texting her HB FREAK and HB GF. HB GF was not putting out for some reason and i didnt see her too much. Maybe like 3 to 4 times out of the week.

-Fast forward 1 week-
ERIK has left back home
My 3 closes
I only had 1 week left with my Grandparents so a full close needed to happen.

HB FREAK - starts texting my at 2 in the morning. She couldnt fall asleep or some shit like that and asked me to come over because she was lonely. Her parents were home so i had to sneak through the window to her room. Rest is history. Didnt have to put too much work on this one.

HB GF - 1 day later im hanging out with the GF at the mall. She was shopping and during that all she could talk about how i was about to leave and how much she is going to miss me. I made it crucial to point out that more than likely that day was the last day we were probably hang out like this and then ill be on my way home. She got quiet. So im driving her home and she says something like "Cant believe you taking away my johnson from me" (we still havent had sex ) i just come back with a smart remark "You havent even used it, so i doubt that". I get her to her place and it gets a little weird in the car. She gets kind of emotional and i start comforting her. We start making out then i escalate and after a couple of minutes she invites me in for a good bye present.

HB Cousin - It was the night before my last day of work and I was texting HB Cousin for a while. I ask her to come over so I can spend some time with her and say my good byes. She gets a ride from one of her dude friends and is at my grandparents place within the hour. I was chilling outside because my grandparents were still awake and i didnt want them asking questions. Once she gets there her dude friend ends up leaving to go chill with his GF or something. I start walking with her and for some reason I could not bring up anything sexual. I was out of it i guess and after about 25 min of walking and talking I just went for the kiss. Seriously I was in the middle of talking about my family when I went in for it. But i knew she wouldnt have came if she wasnt interested in something happening. We end up walking back to my grandparents who were finally asleep. Her dude friend starts texting her to see what time he was going to pick her up. So now i had a damn time constraint of about an hour. So while we are sitting on the porch i started escalating. I got her hot enough to come in and "watch TV" in my room. We end up shagging and she tells her dude friend not to pick her up at least another 2 hours.

So the next day at work the manager throws me a little going away party. Cake and a card type of deal. I was feeling good and really accomplished. I felt like I had gotten away with murder or something....but all 3 girls were there. And technically i was still dating HB GF. HB Cousin literally writes "Had fun last night" on the damn card. I hadnt even touched the damn thing and once the GF read that shit all of hell broke loose and I had to still work the shift of 8 hours. Next morning i just packed my shit and got the heck out of there.

Lol 7000 & Zaak, best stories yet. I don't have any crazy stories yet I wish I did!

I doubt anything tops Zaak's story. That's badass haha.

Zaak's is brilliant. I would have loved to have seen that last 8 hour shift, I imagine it was painful for you but quite funny for a neutral watching in!

Some years ago I took a girl I was into up to visit my friend at his parent's place. It was great fun, unfortunately my friend had two little sisters that were both pretty hot. I started flirting with the older sister when I had the opportunity and could tell she was interested.

That night, I'm not sure who, but someone had the bright idea that we should go camping and everyone sleep in this huge tent. I was next to the girl who came with me and we started making out. I suddenly stopped and rolled over (literally rolled over) three people until I was on top of the older of the sisters. I started making out with her and then rolled back the other way to the girl I started with.

I did this three or four times and everyone was laughing as I rolled over them. It was dark so no one could see what I was really doing and the laughing covered up the slurping sounds. It was pretty funny.

What wasn't so funny was that the girls all talked the next day and I was busted. The older sister was absolutely pissed at me. The younger sister called me some choice names and the girl that came with me had sex with me in a much smaller tent that night.

This was a year ago on NYE.

I was invited to this party in San Francisco. It was hosted by these really rich friends of a lady I was seeing. This girl and her brother, whose parents lent it to them because they were about to go abroad and live in Amsterdam. A masquerade party at a home big enough to make Gatsby proud. Rich kids: gotta love em!

Anyways, my date is this girl who's wanted to be my gf for a while, and while we weren't exclusive, I was slowly starting to stop seeing other girls the more we hung out. She was 22 at the time and a virgin. Not religious, but always said she was unimpressed with most men in general. Enough to not sleep with them anyway. I feel like every guy who ever tried to date her rushed things when they found out she was a virgin, but luckily, I was seeing other people and didn't pressure her for it.

Also at the party: a girl I had a HUGE crush on, who used to take advantage of me in my AFC days. I used to be her crying shoulder, lusted after her, complimented her, all before I learned anything about whatever game I have. She's heard whispers in our hometown that I am seeing someone, but she did not know I'd be at this same party. The second I walk in through the door, she drops her mask down low enough for me to see the look on her face, and it was one of the saddest things I've ever seen. It reminded me of that line in "Vanilla Sky": "She looks like the saddest girl to ever hold a martini." She did not look any happier when I kissed my date at midnight.

I'm mingling with the people around me. They all are making rich people talk, and I'm making jokes about caviar. Not two seconds after I move over to the food table, pick up a peanut and say (in my best Andre the Giant impression), "Anybody want a peanut?" I hear a very familiar laugh: my old crush. I turn and she says she has always loved my impressions. I thank her, talk with her about how my year has been, when she says, "You're just so different from how you used to be. So much more confident. Any New Years resolutions?" I said, "Nothing yet, but whatever it is will help make this the best year ever." So she says, "I haven't met 'her' yet...but I have to admit I am jealous. And my resolution is to not waste your time any more and...and try my best to ride your cock tonight." It really was one of the best feelings I've ever had in my life. Hearing the girl I had the biggest crush on, who took advantage of my politeness and used it against me, admit that she had made a mistake. That she wanted me. She took my hand and started to pull me upstairs...

We started making out in one of the rooms. Things escalated very quickly, and I had her bent over the bed. I started fucking her from behind, when I reached over and picked up her mask next to her. I playfully put it on and kept fucking her, looking into the mirror and just laughing at the absurdity of the situation to myself. At that moment, the guy who owns the house walks into the room. He is a cool guy and was like, "Whoa!" Very quickly closed the door. "C'mon guys, wrap it up!" I only briefly met him through my date, and had I not been wearing that stupid mask and goofing around, he would have known it was me, and he would've gone downstairs and told her.

After I finished, I met up with my date, who had been playing beer pong and was getting sloshed. She wanted to go home soon, so I rounded up the other two people we came with and we got in the car to leave. They were having getting-to-know-you chat in the front, so they didn't notice my date wanting to give me a blowjob in the backseat. And they certainly didn't see her carrying it through!

She and I got back to her place to fall asleep, when she says to me, "Babe?" I mumbled..."Yes?" My face was smushed against the pillow, I was tired and done. She started yammering about how it must feel to have blue balls if you're a guy when I ask, "What are you talking about?" She says, "I'm ready." She offered up her virginity to me that night

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