Quote:
To feel better and more confident about yourself, I'm a big proponent of a healthy lifestyle in terms of diet, exercise and rest. I believe you mentioned that you currently don't have a job, but I'd highly recommend joining a gym, or if not, at the very least, workout at home by doing bodyweight exercises. What I'd recommend doing is find out your maintenance calorie level, ie how many calories you need to consume on a daily basis to maintain your current body weight based on your activity level.
Then, depending on whether you need to lose or gain weight, adjust your daily food consumption accordingly. If you need to lose weight, depending on how much, start eating at a caloric defecit of roughly 500 cal/day. If you need to gain weight, start eating at a daily caloric surplus of 300-500 cal/day. You can use a site like myfitnesspal to track food intake, and you can also do that from your phone too as they have an app for that. You'd be surprised how much better you'll feel about yourself as you begin to see your body change. And above all that, exercise is healthy, it'll likely make you sleep better, lower stress, and just put you in a positive frame of mind.
And as far as approaching chicks go, I've found that for me it was really important to analyse my opener and how I came across. The girl will make a first impression of you in the first few moments of conversation, so these are a few things that I always try to keep in mind as I'm about to approach. Speak loudly so she can hear you, slow it down and don't talk too fast, be very confident with what your'e saying, and have strong eye contact and body language. The last thing you want to do is appear nervous, apologetic like you're interrupting her, or just have a general aura of non-confidence as that will kill your chances. It's not always important exactly what you say, but how you say it, and that means having all those things I just mentioned covered.
Anyways dude, keep at it, good luck, and hope a bit of that might help you.
Thanks for following my progress as well. I agree with the sport part after experiencing first hand how my confidence and with it my vibe went freefalling without it. As for my opener part, I'll use standard ones first, focusing rather on the way I get it out rather than what I say it. Still no enough guts to use more brazen ones, let alone applying them without working on other issues like that user at another subforum who got his ass out from Barnes and Nobles for using it haha (for the mentioned guy: no offence intended. Hope you'll learn something out of it and work your way up.
Don't get discouraged!). And I've got it applied before I read this post of yours lol, with a big success in my standard but probably some success to yours.
So here's the story:
Staying true to my goal, I went at about 3 PM to the town to see if there's any viable target. The city was packed, fuller than usual, but mostly by tourists, kids, couples. Rarely lonely targets. Even if there were, they were usually on the way somewhere and, well granted,
I was afraid that my chance would get cut. Stayed for another hour, got stressed for probably not being able to meet my own set target, and decided to go by train to Koblenz to get rid of my stress, as well as to get the use out of my university semester train ticket.
Arrived there, went to the Mosel river and walked along it. No visible targets, apart from 2 ladies in their end 20's. No solos. Fuck it, so rather than going home complaining of doing nothing, I decided to go to them anyway. I got a good vibe now so why still procrastinating? Opening: What could I visit in Koblenz? Pushed my ass to them and asked, and they turned out to be very open and friendly, asked me about some info about me. I don't wanna game them at this moment, and from the tone of the convo I could figure out they just wanted to be on their own so I thanked them and walked away. This experience then reminded me that ladies are actually warm in general (exceptions apply, of course), it's the boys' behaviour that potentially make them cold.
Walked further and came across an apparently a blonde lady in her 40's, looked actually pretty cute if she was a bit younger. Wanted to close her but then I was confused which "you" form I would use, since using the formal you (
Sie) might kill the attraction while taking the use of the informal you (
du) might come across as impolite.
Opinion from a mainland European language speaker is appreciated! Oh, she was friendly as well.
I was in Koblenz for about an hour only, and with this newly found mentality and the feeling of contention for meeting my target, I decided to go home, only to find myself hitting my new milestone.
So I was on the platform waiting for my train and there's this girl apparently in her teens waiting for her train with her luggage. She smiled at me (probably thanks to my improved vibe

) and I did it back. I didn't think to close her but decided to talk to her anyway, no harm in that. I asked her why the painting on the train we're supposed to board was Luxembourgian instead of German. She said she had no idea and then I asked her where she was going and she said Luxembourg, which triggered me to ask if she's a Luxembourgian, which she denied. Then the train door got opened, I got in and said, "Let's sit here" and she followed. Of course I gave her a hand to get her luggage in since there were stairs to go through.
Then off we went. Standard questions. Turned out she's 19 (instead of an underage like I had thought) and would continue her au-pair in Luxembourg. But this time I spiced it with a lots of stories about what I've experienced and known in life, about 70% of the time and 20% about me, but almost only if she asked. Some negs of course applied, I made sure that my opinions won. I would start the talk and pause in between and then look away, and usually after like 30 seconds to a minute she would then ask something about me, and I would say it in details and managed to throw it to her. In between (but not at the beginning) I found out she had a BF already. She definitely liked me, she played her hair a lot, occasionally bit her lips, and tried to steal my attention by looking at me and smiling. I didn't fall to it whole the time, only occasionally to return the favour. There's a glitch in this one though: There's a moment went she pretended to be crying about being far from home, and I said playfully to her to come to me and cry, to which she reacted with an awkward laughter. Ouch. But I managed to get to the right way by keeping the status quo. Then as we're about to reach my destination (before hers), I said to her that we could stay in touch. And she said that her Facebook wasn't findable and asked that I wrote my Facebook name instead so that she could add me. Not a good sign, I thought, but there's no good in being pushy in this one so I went ahead with giving my name, no matter what. Then we continued talking till I reached Trier (my city), where I then kissed her goodbye on the cheeks. No good expectation, probably a blown one with that little error, so I presumed. Got out and thought nothing out of it other than writing something here on this forum, and as I was on my way home with the bus, I found that she had added me on Facebook while still being on the train to Luxembourg.
First number close!
I'll delay adding her probably up until the next hours, so as to keep the mysterious profile.
Not a perfect one, but I'm proud of myself and more committed to getting one approach a day. This is just getting better.
Lessons learned:
-Ladies are not the problem during approaching, men are. We're totally responsible to get around it.
-Don't be too open like in my glitch