Yess, nice! I know what you mean by feeling bad about it, you shouldn't tho because she was the one doubting the relationship. If she takes you for granted, she's gotta experience the feeling of losing you.

Keep up NC, but DO answer (busy) if she asks you why you're not responding. If for some reason you meet and/or talk again, you have to stay emotionally cold and tell her "let's just see how it goes between us" or something like that... And I agree on dating other girls straight after, it really does help. If you however officially still are in a relationship with her, then cheating's not nice

Well, she did the unthinkable and showed up at my place... lol So unfortunately her talking to me was a bit unavoidable this time around...

She basically said she understands were both on the same page now. Seeing me as someone from her past and me bringing up a trust or insecurity issue from mine. Now were both pissed at each other and not wanting to continue. I called BS immediately on the "were both not wanting to continue part" but she did make sense when she said were both hating on each now. Anyway, she kept saying she loved me and knows she doesnt want to lose me. Again, I called BS and told her straight that she needs to think about the relationship and what she wants. I told her I didnt believe her telling me she loved me because I feel she hasnt really thought about it completely, nor has she shown me any of it these past few days. I also told her that I fight much harder for us than she has ever shown and that her distance and the way she's been obviously acting is something I dont want. I told her that it was A TURN OFF! lol!!!

After that, well... She said goodnight and said she'd think about things but definitely wants me around and to hopefully continue where we left off. She got no kiss, no I love you back. I simply told her to think about things completely as I dont want to be lead on or fooled around with. IM AN ADULT.

Thats it, she went about her way. An hour later I got a text message "Thank you for talking with me... U mean the world to me and Im sorry for being so wrong."

So tomorrow, back to the same reutine, ill let her contact me and continue to have her chase.

dammmmmmnnnnnn you laid down the law!

I salute to you to establishing your boundaries and calling her out on her bad behavior.

My man. My man.

All a girl really wants is a man who is in control. You gave it to her. One more woman happy.

Mr. A

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Very nice to read a good turnaround story on here for once. I didn't believe in you... But you proved me wrong. Well done bro.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Yeah that was brilliant, way better than what I advised you to do in case you talked.. tho I somehow "knew" she'd create a situation where she can meet you.

You basically turned it around, now she has to show you if she's worth it. Good man!

This morning I woke up to 3 cute messages.

1. "morning baby, gonna hit the gym and was thinking of u"
I responded with, your crazy going this early. Thanks and have a good workout, try to release your stress.

2. "Just got out of the shower safe and sound "

3. "Baby I miss you like crazy. Im so so sorry for acting the way I did. I trust you and know we'll do better. I love you Mr.(my last name)"

I responded simply with "babe, your words mean a great deal to me. We will do better"

So far still holding the fort. I really wanted to tell her I loved her back because she said it first. But I knew I shouldnt because I know that as soon as I get soft she's gonna try and overtake the balance again.

She's playing you like a violin, a Mozart masterpiece. She's the player, you're the violin and she's just teasing you so you won't go out looking at other girls! Get it? If she's totally into you, then when you discuss your terms and conditions when she was over at your place is like this.

Tell her she broke your trust and you can't be just friends. If we want to be together again and make up, it has to be a FWB where you can gain back her trust. Now if she accepts this, that means she still have feelings for you. Fucking requires some feelings of the other person you know. That's how a manly man dictate terms, but you're too chicken to say it because you're afraid loosing her. She can't improve your insecurity. Is she qualified to fix your insecurity? Sorry, but that's a no. She's qualified to tease your insecurity and that's exactly what she's doing to you now on the stuff you posted above. You just didn't see it (face palm). Your insecurity makes you believe that you hold the fort, except she's inside the fort taunting you. Most of the time, these girls will say no to FWB. Then you know all of this honey my dear texting crap is just her leashing a bunch of beta puppies for her own personal amusement.

lol makes total sense

Completely disagree with this. She's not playing games. She's just confused and messed up. The one playing the games is alkaline himself, as we told him to. He's the one in command. For now anyway. And just because a girl rejects a FWB proposal, doesn't mean she's not into him. It could mean she really wants him and wouldn't want just a fuck buddy out of him.

And of course he's insecure... What guy in the right mind wouldn't be? He caught her flirting with another boy and said she forgot she had a boyfriend. No kidding, bro.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Agree, mikemight is reading way too much into this... Even if she was trying to game him, he did a good job.

Hmm, who said Alkaline have to fuck her if she's his fuck buddy? Remember, they were already fucking so it's not like they hadn't done the deed. He's not dealing with a new girl -- he is dealing with an ex or almost ex. Typically, women who have lost all feelings on a guy is like that, gone and done like dinner. The FWB ploy is to sh*t test her and expose her cards and true intentions. If she agreed to be FWB, she still have feelings but maybe Alkaline did something wrong to upset her. Then Alkaline can play the slow game to gain back his trust on her.

What's you guys are suggesting is the same as what Alkaline did when he was her boyfriend. Now, it's Alkaline on the phone or email whereby her new boyfriend is now looking at it; probably laughing at what a looser he is. The new guy got her pussy.

Man, if I have pride, I keep it. I never let a girl manipulate me into loosing my pride.

You CAN ONLY have proper closure with her and be friends if you leave on good terms with your pride and Alpha frame. She simply says, we're just not relationship material. I'm fine with that and I do talk to my exes sometimes but only as mutual friends while they are dating other guys. I'm not jealous nor bothered with it. But Alkaline left with a weak beta frame because of his insecurities. The girl knows this and is using this to gain power for proper closure. It's not a mutual equal arrangement. The FWB ploy I am teaching him is to rebalance the power back to him. He's a goner, ok but he's got his pride.

Say what? I dont know man. Doing something like that would seem like a dick move to make if I wanted an immediate way out. But I wanna keep her around and simply gain my more power back. Get back in to Alpha mode. So far so good with every bit of information the guys have given me.

Words are cheap and plentiful. What actions have she shown you other than coming over to you. Giving you the same affection, hugs and sex if she wants to make it back to you? If she truly wants you, she's already doing those deeds. She isn't and she's just fishing you along for her own amusement.

You're not a dick suggesting FWB. If she said you're such a dick for saying this, just tell her that it's you who came to me with your soft glazing eyes. If she disappears, you know your answer. Either way, you get your woman or you don't.

Listen to porn stars and how they work in the business. Before they fuck, they both go out and develop some feelings before filming. If porn stars do it, what should your ex-girlfriend be any different. That's how you test her for her feelings in you.

Disregard Mightmike's input. Doing that will just make shit harder than it has to be. That kind of mindset is destined to label all girls as unfaithful and untrustworthy.


Besides, you are in control. Keep it up, people here are giving you good advice.

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Bible said, it's bad to be communicating to other guys or gals behind someone's back during a relationship. She was already doing that, so I suppose you claim her to be faithful? You certainly have a very unique moral value. So I guess some people think their unique moral values are all above god and the bible. I personally had never met a man or woman who had won against god or the bible. They all fail. Take my advise with a grain of salt, but I've been in Alkaline shoes for so many times for many years back. Unless the 1980s girls are different than 2013 girls, they are all the same. Back then it was pager taging. Spent enough quarters on pay phone booths showing my frame over the mouth piece. LOL