conversation from OKCupid.
Me: Did you ever instantly know you were going to like and trust someone for a long, long time?
Maybe you only knew them for a short while but it seemed that you had known them your whole life, as if there were a timeless connection between you.
As you read these words and remember those amazing feelings, it’s good to know that sometimes life has a way of making us remember those things, right prior to discovering that we can experience those feelings again.
With me… in my experience, it’s the kind of thing that can’t be forced and no essays or words can create it.
Check out my profile to see a little more about me.
her: I am going to attempt to not come off as bitter...I am a realist so I walk a fine line here...I have had those connections and just like that, they were gone.
So...I am not nearly as trusting as you. I read the bulk, but not all, of your profile and I am actually surprised you'd be interested in talking to me...lol I think we are polar opposites. But...
How are you?
~~~~~Watch this video before you read my next message to her~~~~~~~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_vtn_gv1QM
Me: haha, I'm actually not that trusting of anyone. I can see where you're coming from. When I was younger my father was always rough on me. He hit me to keep me in line BAM! Or sometimes I'd just be sitting there doing nothing. POW!
The only time I ever really saw dad happy was when he took me to the circus when I was 7. Ah... I remember it like it was yesterday. The clowns running around, dropping their pants. Dad laughed so hard I thought he'd have a heart attack.
So, the very next night I put on his very best pants and rant out to meet him after work and dropped them to my ankles. ZOOOOP!! "Hey dad! look at me!" I tripped and fell and tore the crotch right out of his pants. Hahahaha. Fun times.
Then he broke my nose.
I've got a few trust issues with people. But I try to stay hopeful that not everyone is so bad.
her: Wow. I have lost all words...*gathers words to make sentences*
I believe that not everyone is so bad. I believe that most people do not seek to be bad people...but sometimes shit happens.
I am very sorry about your childhood experience. My dad has not been the greatest but it was based on abandonment and not abuse.
Anywho, now that we've discussed our daddy issues...lol I have a weird sense of humor.
Why Ok Cupid?
me: Well, my dad favored the drink... So I can see how that had an effect on things.
I'm on OKC because I only have time to go out on friday and saturday nights really. Sometimes I get tired of girls who want to party all the time and never have time to just sit down and relax and take things slow. Watch a movie, cuddle, talk about life, enjoy the scenery. Things like that.
So, what sorts of things make you laugh? What's something you find funny?
her: I laugh at almost anything...seriously that lyric that says "I'm the type to laugh at a funeral" is me...I am incredibly awkward and I love everything about being awkward lol It's fun. I find certain racial humor to be funny...which is why I like Family Guy and I also think impersonations are funny.
What makes you laugh? What does it take to entertain you? You're high maintenance...
Me: Me! high maintenance!!! hahaha, that's the funniest thing I've heard all day! I used to be homeless and tend to appreciate the little things in life. Mostly I just like it when someone is straight forward and real. When people care about others sorta deal.
I won't exactly laugh at a funeral, doesn't mean I don't want to. Here's a video that I think has the greatest guitar solo I've ever seen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqyjfnVZLXM
her: I was joking about the high maintenance thing. Being homeless must suck...apparently I have been homeless before according to some standards lol
I feel like I should have watched that youtube vid high but like I don't do drugs so...lol That was freaky...
What do you find funny? You are very upfront and honest...does that ever create problems for you?
~~~~~~~my next message is hinting at how bitter and pissed I am about how a guy has to talk to girls to get any sort of response at all. It's also hinting at the idea that my initial message was me bullshiting to get a response and that my 2nd message was a bold faced lie. I don't think she picked up on that hint though~~~~~~
Me: Being upfront and honest creates a lot of problems. It seems mostly with girls though. I've seen a lot of times a girl will fall head over heels for some guy who's feeding her lines of entertaining bs. Because she's emotionally drawn to what he's saying she eats it all up and ends up in a relationship she later finds out she's not happy in. While there was some other guy who was straight forward and honest about himself and how he felt about her.
But that guy, he was't very compelling. Nor was he entertaining. In the long run he may just be better for her and more of what she'd actually want, but she never gave him a chance cause the outside packaging wasn't flashy enough.
So, yes, honesty has it's down sides. Mostly in social interaction and sales. People who're good at bullshitting tend to excel at those things while those who're honest and upfront don't.
I think that video is hilarious. Archer is pretty funny.
I like to mess with people sometimes and laugh at their misfortune, granted it's not that big of a deal. E.g. fucking with people while playing videogames or something like that.
What's the wildest things you've done, as far as guys are involved?
her: Did I ask you what it takes to entertain you? Seems like it would take a lot..like a hand stand half naked or something...which I would not do FYI.
I am not really wild...I had sex with two different guys back to back the same night. That was unexpected...but it was interesting lol Not in the same room but like I saw one had sex then went to see the other one right after to just hang...and then I had sex with him. What about you?
What is your idea of fun? Like for real for real...what would an incredibly fun filled day look like for you?
~~~~~~note, there's another bold faced lie in the next message. my friend Jessica doesn't exist but otherwise what I said it 100% true~~~
Me: Well, That's not really that wild at all.. My friend Jessica went to a party with me once. We were on a road trip and she'd just broken up with her boyfriend. She was really upset and trying to get over him and she fucked 7 guys that night. Then, back at the camp grounds some guy from the party was there that she'd slept with and was calling her a slut and other stupid shit.
So, we had to "insist" he went away and left her alone. She was really upset and crying about it, but she was just having fun and trying to get over her boyfriend and be free. I guess some guys just don't get that.
I really wouldn't care if it was two guys are once or not, what you're doing is your business as long as you stay safe it's cool.
One night I had with a girl that was really fun.
She called me up and wanted to come over and drink wine and eat steak. she brought the wine and I had the steak. But she forgot the wine... So when she came over we ate some steak and then we went to the liquor store and she got some wine and jameson and on the way back we ran into the neighbors and started talking to them. They invited us over and we're hanging out with them.
We're just watching movies and mixing drinks and such and then we go back to my place and show the neighbors my apartment. After than we're hanging out and I'm having a fun convo with this girl and me and her went back to my place and cuddles and made out for a bit then had sex and went to sleep.
the next morning I woke up while she was still asleep and made some food. She woke up and we're eating and watching funny video's on youtube and laughing and joking the whole time. Then she was playing video games with me.
We both took a shower together and had sex in the shower and then afterwards we went to belle isle and walked around exploring for a bit just laughing and telling jokes and then she went home.
Nothing extremely wild happened. Just me hanging out with a really cool girl who's fun to talk to and easy to get along with. I had a lot of fun that day.
her: That sounds...normal. LOL That isn't wild at all...I thought you were going to have an orgy or something...or say you had sex with a chick and her mom LOL
That sounds chill...like something I would want to do with someone. But like I want that without the commitment...I am like sort of anti-commitment lately. Probably because I want to get out of here...I want to move somewhere else. I hate it here...I feel like I don't belong. I need to go somewhere where I can fit in a little easier because I never want to fit in. I wasn't made to fit in.
I am safe with sex but I have been celibate for about 2 1/2 months...and I am trying to avoid spending time with men at all costs because I am tempted to give in...at first I was celibate because of lack of available penis then it became a choice lol
Me: Oh, Well, that wasn't really the craziest thing I've done. Just a day I had that was really fun. Lol.
That's cool you're not trying to settle down. I know the feeling, not fitting in. I'm kinda weird myself, if you couldn't tell from my profile.
Where do you want to move to?
btw, here's my number, you seem pretty cool.
216-XXX-XXXX
Maybe we'll hang out sometime and chill watching movies or funny youtube videos.
her: DC and sure...my number 313-XXX-XXXX and my name is Lauren. What's yours?
And yes, us weirdos have to stick together
me: And maybe shower together

I'm Nick
Her: Hahaha...anything's possible I guess lol
Me: I like surprises. Like mysterious texts.
her: Is that supposed to be a hint? LOL Be a man...lol
Me: Take the initiative. I like that
her: I don't...it ends horribly for me. So with that, goodnight Nick!
So, then I texted her shortly after that saying; Hello, Lauren.
her: Hey there, Nick
Me: I figure, I know the feeling, things not always working out when you make the first move. But one of us had to say hello. ~~~~~more bitter hinting that shit's just as bad for guys as it is for girls~~~~
her: Yes and currently I am in a semi talking situation where I feel like I do the bulk of the whatever...asking to hang, etc so i'm over it. LOL I just want reciprocity
me: Ah. Lol. Yeah. You don't want a relationship and want something less serious. And you're into me. Same here.

are you free tomorrow or thursday?
Her: No I'm not free thursday and I wont be free tomorrow util late... And I'm not coming over so don't ask that lol. Who said I was into you I barely know you lol.
~~~~yup... not looking to play any fucking games at this point and she's mostly just a guinea pig anyway. So I say~~~~~~
me: See what I mean about honesty
Her: Yep I'll give you all the honesty you can handle and more
me: You can say things to test and see what kind guy i am and play games. Or you could stop being coy and hang out. If you weren't interested you wouldn't've given me your number. Just saying, I'm not looking to play games.
Her: Hold up...yes I'm interesting but I'm just setting boundaries and believe it or not, I have a life. I am volunteering tomorrow as well as I have an interview...I have no reason to lie to you. If you wanna hang then yes you have to respect the fact that I have shit that I do and that shit falls and Wednesdays and thursdays... I didn't say never or not this week I just said those two days.
I babysit my niece Thursday evenings and I volunteer/work during the day. If you can't respect my schedule than you can go.
Me: I was referring to when you said "What makes you think I'm interested. I just met you." I work forty hours a week and only have tuesday to thursday off. I get that much. Most people aren't always free.
her: Ok. I said and I quote "who said I was into you I barely know you lol" I wasn't serious and I never said I was not interested. Clearly I'm interested... Being interested and liking someone are two different things in my book I'm just putting that out there.
me: I know. Where do you volunteer at?
I know. Interested/attracted to mean someone likes the surface enough to want to see more. They are drawn, or attracted, to something or someone.
her: blah blah blah and blah law line (CALL) so it's like a job but I don't get paid for doing it. I also have an interview with a temp agency in the morning.
Precisely. So being into you would imply more than surface...that's all I was saying. That's it. No where in there did I say I was not interested.
Me: Is that like a suicide hotline thing.
only for law.
her: No it's like a front door to legal aid.. people call in with a variety of legal issues and we blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Me; What got you into that?
Her: Old bosses did it and it's great knowledge and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
And FYI I'm guarded... I've never been good at this game playing which is why I'm single. Guarded is different than game playing.
me: Most girls are guarded. It's rather frustrating actually. I've had my share of heart break but the pressure is on men to make the first move and most girls... well most people are on guard. So it's tough out there to simply say hello. I assume you wanted to get into law to help people.
her: I don't mind it's just blah blah blah blah blah. And whatevs man I'm an introvert so I blame it on that lol. And yes you are correct. That's why I got into law... and if don't use this knowledge for that then I don't wanna be a lawyer seriously.
me: Introver. are you familiar with carl jung? The psychologist who created the term. Or mbti?
her: Yeah I took that myers briggs test I'm like an injf I think... I can't remember lol
~~~~note, it would be INFJ, not INJF~~~~~
what's mbti?
oh never mind lol
me: I was about to say myers briggs type indicator. The name of the test. Lol. I'm an INTJ. Like SPAM!
her: that personality type... and here I am lol.
I might be that one lol I took that test like my 2nd year of undergrad and I don't remember much aside from it saying law was an ideal career path for blah blah blah blah balh
I'm done writing this out. I'll write more later. But it's good I have somethign to evaluate and look at for reference.