Need help, Girlfriend ready to leave me



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:46 am 
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Kick her to the fucking curb and don't pick her back up. Her behaviour is out of line big time.
I've been here, and in case you need that 10th approval to do it, this is 100% the way to go, once you 'take control' of the situation I guarantee you'll feel tens times better and can then start to move on...and never backslide and question your decision if/when she texts you to 'see how you're getting on?'.

Drop the 'undeserving of your attention' girl.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:50 am 
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I doubt this guy will follow through with our advice. My two cents.
Exactly if he was smart he'd freeze her out or just dump her but he has a really bad case of oneitis
Why would anyone want to freeze this girl out and direct a lot of energy playing games, pushing and pulling to win this girl back. Just throw out the trash imo.
Freezing her out isn't directing a lot of energy and playing games if he has the I don't care mentality and games other girls and letting his soon to be ex girlfriend be the one to iniate ALL the contact with him he has nothing to lose either she realizes that she misses him and makes more effort for him or she just breaks up with him which is about to happen anyway


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 5:41 am 
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Try to talk to her dude. If you really love her, fight for her. Tell her to give you a second chance. Prove to her, that the chance she gave you will not go to waste. Explain to her why you done those things. Because, if she really loves you too, she'll understand.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 6:28 am 
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DO NOT LISTEN TO Andy! Wtf, are you trolling???? She already feels you are insecure, already sees you less as a man, if you go and beg for forgiveness, she will completely lose whatever attraction she still has left for you. She is in the fucking wrong as well. If she can't see your value, fuck her. Give her space and time to miss you.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:27 am 
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Try to talk to her dude. If you really love her, fight for her. Tell her to give you a second chance. Prove to her, that the chance she gave you will not go to waste. Explain to her why you done those things. Because, if she really loves you too, she'll understand.
Lol


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:42 am 
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your cooked bro, unless you can put her in sex coma, dhv that your sexually advanced and make her forget these chumps she flirts with. women like experienced men who can hit that Aspot(yes theres an Aspot). one womanizer once told me "if your fucking her every minute of the day :D she obviously isn't fucking someone else"

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 11:44 am 
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Try to talk to her dude. If you really love her, fight for her. Tell her to give you a second chance. Prove to her, that the chance she gave you will not go to waste. Explain to her why you done those things. Because, if she really loves you too, she'll understand.
:shock:


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:10 pm 
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Ok guys, I have met a wonderful girl that I've been in a relationship with for 3 months now. Prior to this I was single for 3 years doing my own thing, dating women and making friends. I didnt have any game, or last I didnt know I did. So heres the story...

So after meeting this girl we dated for a month before I asked her to be my GF. She was great! Showed me a ton of affection, sent me cute text messages all the time, sent me sweet voice mails before and while at work, posted cute things on my Facebook page. She was totally into me.

Towards our 2nd month I noticed things were slowing down. She wasn't texting much or calling me at all. I also had noticed she was texting 2 of her male friends much more often. I had no problem with this as she had mentioned these friends to me before we made things official, they were high school friends. One night I noticed her getting repeated text messages from one of these dudes and I couldnt help but to react out of jealousy and insecurity... I told her I wasnt liking that she was constantly texting while with me. This bothered her big-time and although she was upset she was reassuring me that its only a friend and thats it. Later in the night I couldnt help but to check her phone and of course it was nothing but small chat about a band her friend wanted to see... I felt horrible and couldnt believe I did that. So I wound up admitting to what I had done and apologized to her for not respecting her space. She got extremely upset and threatened to go home, she told me that her previous relationship was a very controlling one and she wasnt interested in doing that again. So she basically gave me an ultimatum, that I stop or she was simply going to have to leave for good.

Now 3 months in and after a fantastic Valentines day and also after talking things over I had felt like things were getting better. She had started up again with the affection and messaging but it quickly stopped cold turkey. Lately its gotten to the point to where I now get almost no calls, little to no text messages or 1 word replies. When we hang out it just seems like shes distant and shows very little affection all over again. She also began texting one of her male friends a bunch, more than usual. Last night she stood over and slept on her back, seemed like she just didnt want to be there. Later in the night I woke up to use the bathroom and noticed her phone sitting on the side of the bed. I couldnt help but to look again... :? As I scrolled through her text she had been texting this friend from the time she wakes up to the time she went to bed. All small talk but small flirting included this time... He had told her that despite him being in a relationship himself, if he was close by he would do anything to see her beautiful face, to which she replied "youre so sweet, i would kiss you". Later in the afternoon I she had texted him "I feel so bad. Today I totally forgot I had a boyfriend, its that bad lol... I dont want to hurt him but I dont feel the same, like I dont feel the same in the relationship anymore". He basically told her to do whats right and she said "I just feel bad. This is what I hate about relationships. I dont want to hurt him because he treats me right and cares so much for me. I just dont want to lead him on. He got all upset with me because he thought I was talking to other guys and making moves on them. He doesnt trust me and his insecurity is such a turn off". Her male friend said "yes insecurity is very unattractive" and she replied with "Yes! Exactly". Thats pretty much where they ended their conversation....

So now I feel horrible. I know I shouldnt have snooped around her phone again but now at least I know what she's thinking and how she feels and that were possibly done :(

Do you guys think I stand a chance at fixing what I seem to have totally screwed up? If so, what can I do?

Please help, I love her a great deal and dont want to lose her :/
You dated a casual drifter. One of their M.O is that, they blast you with so much affection and love in the attempt to lock you into being a BF. Once they fullfil whatever mission they want out of you, off they go to the next man, then the next man and next.
The only way you can beat this game is to be a challenge and give her your affection in dribs and drabs, but then that's only to prolong your agony for the eventual breakup, which usually last around up to 2 to 3 years if you can extend the game long enough. Plus you get great sex from these women because all they want to do is pull all the stops to get you and they know sex is one key that will make men heads spin. But because you're too easy for her, you never got to the good stuff later on.

Casual drifters usually did not complete the proper un-bonding process from their last man (ex) or they have an revengeful agenda against men.

Drop her and move on..


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:15 pm 
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First. Your actions are your own downfall. Trust is huge in relationships and the fact that you did that behind her back the first time really lost you BIG manly points. The only thing you can do now is speak softly and carry a big stick. Lay down the law. Talk about how how her infidelity will affect your relationship with her and what the consequences will be. Actually tell her how the thought of her with another man will drive you mad and lead you to do crazy things. Do that in a heartfelt way to make it resonate with her. Girls like feeling wanted but they don't want to be needed.

Now, you can't be snooping again. You just cannot. However, if her behavior does not shape up, whatever your consequences you have laid down before you must go through with it 100%. 100%. If this relationship is over, you will at least leave with your integrity in tact.

Mr. A

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 5:19 pm 
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Try to talk to her dude. If you really love her, fight for her. Tell her to give you a second chance. Prove to her, that the chance she gave you will not go to waste. Explain to her why you done those things. Because, if she really loves you too, she'll understand.
Do NOT listen to this guy, sounds like advice my mother would give me, in the same level of use as 'If you like a girl buy her flowers and she'll want to go out with you' *Cringe*...Although I did do that once and it worked to my surprise but it is still bad advice!!!


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 5:24 pm 
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First. Your actions are your own downfall. Trust is huge in relationships and the fact that you did that behind her back the first time really lost you BIG manly points. The only thing you can do now is speak softly and carry a big stick. Lay down the law. Talk about how how her infidelity will affect your relationship with her and what the consequences will be. Actually tell her how the thought of her with another man will drive you mad and lead you to do crazy things. Do that in a heartfelt way to make it resonate with her. Girls like feeling wanted but they don't want to be needed.

Now, you can't be snooping again. You just cannot. However, if her behavior does not shape up, whatever your consequences you have laid down before you must go through with it 100%. 100%. If this relationship is over, you will at least leave with your integrity in tact.

Mr. A
I also wouldn't recommend this advice, however tempting it may seem to try and salvage this relationship it's just not going to happen. You're 3 months in, and you're not happy with the relationship or how she's treating you, then why on earth would you want to stay around and fight for it. Cut her loose, cut contact and move on, you'll keep your dignity and she will try and get you back, if you totally cut contact she WILL initiate it again, but even then you should not backslide as the whole cycle could just repeat.

Just think of this a good practice relationship, you find out where you went wrong and just move on to the next girl, it is not worth pining on like this over one girl. I wish I'd have listened to advice like this in the past.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:03 pm 
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Just drop it. 3 months isn't worth the trouble. Drop it NoW. If she's gonna come back she will. There are better chicks bro. Trust me. We've all been there.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:46 pm 
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Try to talk to her dude. If you really love her, fight for her. Tell her to give you a second chance. Prove to her, that the chance she gave you will not go to waste. Explain to her why you done those things. Because, if she really loves you too, she'll understand.
What this is is really "begging" for her mercy. Do you think it's going to work on her? You don't need explaining. It just complicates things. The reasons she dropped you was because

a, She found another interesting guy and replaced you
b, She never got over the ex and used you to fill her void and taunt the ex to take her back (the vicious cycle)
c, She found you too beta and not Alpha like
d, She found that her friends hate you so she has to drop you

Now, if you've been strictly all Alpha and never beta slide, then the most plausible reason is B and D when her interest level dropped from really high to nothing in a week. Chances are, she faked her high interest in you. You were never as good enough a replacement for the ex, so she went back to him or her friends hate you and so she can't have you. But more than likely, the OP acted beta after she got him and then it slid.

If you beg for forgiveness, then "C" is the most likely answer. Women aren't attracted to people who beg. If you do beg, you will loose all chances from a slim make up. She might call you to make up cause she made a mistake, but this is very extremely rare. It means the woman has to loose her pride. That's usually never going to happen! Once a woman made her mind up, it's final!


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:41 pm 
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Let me explain how the weekend went, we'll go from there.

So I met up with her for dinner Saturday night. I decided to bring up how I've felt about her current distant attitude. She wound up explaining to me, almost to a T exactly what she had mentioned to her friend (by the way, she mentioned he's gay) in the text. She said that since the issue was brought up she hasn't really felt the same. Her feelings for me have changed a bit. She brought up the fact that she was already in a relationship that started that exact same way and to see it possibly happening again makes her simply just shut down as she knows she doesn't want her and her son to go through such a thing all over again... After understanding her point of view again I explained to her that I am not that other person. That I understand where shes coming from but I need to know how she feels about continuing as only prolonging this will cause hurt for the both of us and her child. She stated that she didn't want to make any fast and regretful decisions as she loves everything I do for her, how good I am to her and her child and what I have to offer them both. How her family and friends love and always ask about me. She says she doesn't want to wind up making a stupid mistake and wanted to try her best to blow past the issue and allow time to fix it but that shes just not sure how she feels this very moment because she is now very confused. After hashing out our thoughts and opinions we wound up having a fantastic time with one another, like normal times. We had such a great time that I wound up even spending the night at her place.

The following morning we wound up having breakfast but I immediately felt it all over again. She seemed distant, irritant and bothered. I did my best to not let it bug me and eventually it changed all over again and we wound up having yet another great day together.

This morning we said our goodbyes and that was it, I could feel as if she was just confused or something was bugging her. Since then I have not contacted her. Now 5 hours into the day I got a text from her simply saying “Hi” and a few minutes later “Hows it going?”

I want to simply limit contact this week. I want to give her time to think about things.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:58 pm 
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Think about what you want out of this mate, it's 3 months in, it generally shouldn't be like this after such a short amount of time. Do you really want a relationship which starts out like this?


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