I want to explore the compensation subject in depth and give real world examples,plus evidence on the theory that might help newbies to have a strong ideea about it.
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Definition from Wikipedia: In psychology, compensation is a strategy whereby one
covers up, consciously or unconsciously, weaknesses, frustrations, desires, or feelings of inadequacy or incompetence in one life area through the gratification or (drive towards) excellence in another area.
- So basically it says covering failure in one area through one in another.It comes up as a response to a belief (or realistic observation) of inadequacy,helplessness,incompetence by becoming competent,adequate and performing in another area that is easier to succeed in.
Non-PU examples:
- A seller might cover up the flaws in his products by reducing the price and putting a huge banner with "now at 20% less price",thus trying to make it more attractive.
- A fat girl might act hard-to-get and bitchy to compensate for her lack of physical attractiveness by raising her market value.
You see where i am going?
When you are acting overly nice to a girl,you are signaling that you have a shortcoming in your life (self-esteem,attractiveness,lack of humor,lack of social intelligence) by becoming a people-pleaser, shower her with attention and gifts, saying nice things to her, etc. All trying to take her attention away from "seeing" your perceived (created in your own mind) shortcomings.
So if you don`t want to stink like a wimp with no real purpose in life don`t do this.
Peace and love
- debugg3r
CHAT