Hi Guys,

Need some advise please on the following situation.

Arranged a date with a serious 9/10 (no exaggeration), then not long before the date (an hour before) she txt saying her recent ex had showed up at her house and would take ages to get rid of him so lets reorganise. (I knew she only split with him a month ago thats why I asked her out) Note. Shes not just a flaker, I have friends who know her.....and also she kinda asked me for my number initially but thats a different story.

So, few days later I msg her and she apologised for bailing etc and explained he has been turing up all the time crying etc trying to get back with her etc etc and she doesnt want any of it. One of the reasons (she said there are many but i changed conversation asap) she split is coz she doesnt want a BF as she is going travelling in about 6 months and he isnt going.

Now, she's keen to meet up with me for drinks next friday, so im guessing she is still keen for something casual till she goes away.....What do you guys think?

What I want tips on is how to escalate this as quick as possible to avoid her friendzoning me as we have mutual friends.
Im pretty new to the 'dating' scene (6 months in) as ive just come out of an 8 yr relationship so a bit rusty, so this sites been pretty helpful for hook ups...hopefully you can help me bag the 9/10!

If you are fine with just being sexual with her and not dating her on a serious level that is great.

Make it clear to her that you understand she will be traveling and don't want to develop feelings for someone before leaving. Then tell her that look, I'm attracted to you. I'd like to just do whatever we think feels right. I won't judge you for being sexual or whatever, it's natural. We don't have to give ourselves a label or whatever. Let's just spend some time together while we can and try to make the best of it. Then kiss her.

She may very well be looking for sex only. She doesn't want it from the ex because that would give him false hope. You would really be surprised at how rebounding chicks are active right away with someone new.

Basically give her permission to be sexual with you. Let her know you won't fall in love. Blame yourself for being attracted to her. Tell her you won't be her bf but, if she needs some affection you'll deliver. And ask her point blank if she could handle just messing around once in a while until she is gone.

Make your reality hers by inviting her into your world of awesome sex without emotional baggage. She probably can handle it but, doesn't want to be viewed as promiscuous to get it done.

Be honest, and respect her. I think you have a great shot with her.

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Hey thanks for the reply, still like to hear a few more opinions too if anyone else can help.

I can deal with casual, after 8 years im not sure I want anything else so it could be perfect.

Now, im not super confident and I dont see myself saying Not on the first date anyway, maybe the 2nd, but I guess I need to say something similar to clear the air and make sure were both thinking the same....ill do some thinking into putting that into my own words, I think thats a good way to approach this mid date.

Oh, since posting this we exchanged a couple more msgs and one thing she said (whilst moaning about her ex bf again and i was changing subject whilst not putting him down as ppl say not to do on here) was "I dont think he will leave me alone until I leave or he finds out im seeing someone else....like, im not looking for a bf because that would be pointless but yeah that would kill him....lots of fun...NOT!"

Now you experts can tell me if im reading this right.......she is opening up to me that she is keen to 'see' other people but just doesn't want anything serious? Am i right?