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I might've misunderstood you Vic, but I don't completley agree with your post.
Looking back at the progress I've made over the last couple of years, and the fact that the progression curve doesn't seem to slow down, makes me believe that you actually CAN become The Man, even if you're not allready him.
I read your post about being The Man, and frankly, it was epic. I knew a lot of it allready, but every drop of new knowledge equals gold.
I'm not at the point where women are throwing numbers at me, but it's normal that they try and do so whenever I'm out clubbing or at a party. To get this far, from being the socially awkward guy in the corner, that shit removes boundaries. I don't know your story, and I don't know where you started out. But from what I can tell now, it seems like you're a natural, and never had the all time low. If that's the case I don't think you're in the position to tell us what we can and can't do. If you yourself have been where most of us have, you should know first hand, that people can achieve this through hard work.
Now, I do, on the other hand, agree with alot of what you are saying. Pretty much everything except that "You either have it, or you don't" mentality. If I were stuck with that. Hell, I would probably be sitting in a shower crying or whatever.
Invictus, seriously man, you need to let this shit go before it destroys you. I'm not sure whether you've just experienced the worst possible rejection known to mankind, or if your self-esteem is so low that you're bound to bounce of the bat as soon as someone rejects you. But why are you beating yourself up about this? You make it sound like approaching a woman is the definition of a needy as fuck beta AFC. It's all about your mindset. When I approach someone, I simply tell myself that "That chick looks cute, let's see what she's like." If she rejects me (I've never had a bad rejection though, worst I've had is "What's your problem" and she walked off) I really don't care. I didn't know her before I approached, I don't know her now. No gain, no loss, no effort. If you make approaching a huge deal, rejection will be aswell.
I do agree (to some point) that having all the women approaching you would be better. Just sitting laid back waiting for tonights SNL. But I for one actually ENJOY game. I don't do this just to get my dick wet, I do it because I like the psychological aspects of the game and everything that happens from the approach to the closing. And last, but not least, the thrill of the hunt.
Now, you might not enjoy those things yourself, and that's fine by me. But you should either accept that ever since the beginning of time, men are the dominant ones and that women aren't. Or you should quit game, as it seems to do you more damage than joy.
Fair enough.... I do think people progress, in fact I think you can become super good with people. I do think people get better and honestly I think everyone has some of the tools to get very good. No doubt in my mind but I also have come to realize that I am not able to teach as much about what happens to me.
How I connect with people is outstanding and I think everyone is capable of most aspects of what I do, but I do have one benefit to me that most people don't, and that is my contagious laugh. If I laugh it is a little more unique and quite infectious.... everyone laughs because I laugh. This is actually the cornerstone of a lot of my charisma (or so I've been told).
It was my friends that were like dude don't tell people they can become that, so I stopped. I think everyone has a serious amount of awesomeness to them too. It's not that I think I am awesome above everyone else, it's that I tend to connect with people. I can read them very well and due to a long list of experiences, a big family, and tons of friends I seem to have some way to connect with just about everybody.
Girls don't throw themselves at me everywhere but most of the reason I posted this up was to deter people from this mentality(no joke). The I can get picked up on mentality.... of course that shit happens. However I want people to act not wait... So while there is definitely a difference between when you first start gaming and when you get some experience(you'll begin to get opened more and girls will come to you more), I do think that some people have that ability underlying but for the most part this isn't a learned behavior.
There seems to be a momentum to pick up where once you hit a certain point things become easy. Asking for numbers gets to a point where it becomes assumed you'll get it but I just don't see every guy getting number given to them, I think most have to ask. So some of this can be a learned behavior, but I think aspects of this do not exist in everyone. I think most of us have this ability within us and the ability to get quite amazing(because we are all in fact amazing) but I don't think everyone has this charisma.
Just because you were a quiet guy doesn't mean you didn't have it within you. That is the thing our potential is often capped by our own mind... I do think a lot of us have this ability but I also think you shouldn't rely on this ability to get women otherwise you are just hoping to get lucky... My overall goal was deterring people from this mentality.
P.S. Thanks for the compliments on my thread... I am glad my original thought that about everyone can become that man makes me feel happy. I was starting to lose some faith in the idea.
Peace and Love,
Vic
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Just another guy from back in the day.
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