Investment Paradox: Direct vs Indirect



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PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2013 2:52 am 
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I still like opinion openers I feel that 1.) Turns the tables. it takes the spotlight off you and puts it on her. 2.)Builds Trusts. It creates trust as you feel like you kow the person because you know what they think.
Girls are horny and guys are horny. It just needs to be some coordination. People need to trust each other before they get naked. Sometimes thats all thats missing. 3.) It tends to lead to a web of conversations


The dangers of direct in my mind are trying to hard to impress, moving to fast, or being a little reckless.
Out of curiosity why do you like opinion openers? Do you believe a woman doesn't realize why you opened her? She still knows you are creating an excuse, where as being bold and vulnerable enough shows a lot more value than an excuse to women. Women know why they open them, they are very intuitive creatures, they usually can tell when you are full of it by pure intuition.

You can walk up and tell a woman her a compliment in such a way that you say it reminds you of..... and then she'll begin to enter the conversation. Oh thank you I got it at bla bla bla, and you are there, started a full blown conversation by identifying with her from the get go.

You exposing your vulnerability builds trust, that is how direct game works, complete honesty and thus trust. Everything about you is exposed and thus you become trustworthy from the beginning.

When a conversation is started on a lie you need to build trust, but when it starts with the truth trust starts as soon as the conversation begins.

The entire approach of direct game is about being trustworthy and not shady as a human being.

Direct requires a lot of calibration but the end results are worthwhile.

You can create a web of conversations by simply learning to expose yourself and your thoughts (yes be more open with women, and it creates a genuine connection). For example: Oh that makes me think of this time, this happened and made that happen... You are open and honest with your thoughts.

Direct covers everything you spoke of, it isn't reckless though many who use it are, it is about not being reckless at all.

Most women respect a man that has the confidence to be direct and vulnerable enough to be real with her. Again she'll begin the relationship with trust.

Just because you are upfront with your intentions doesn't mean you can't have a true conversation.

You can walk up and simply say "I rarely do this, but you look very interesting. I can tell by your .....(style, purse, watch, etc.). I had to come over and introduce myself. I'm Victor." (reach hand out to shake expectantly but palm up, smile, and make strong eye contact.) That is quite direct and at the same time it isn't too overt. Right there you created a conversation piece (she should open up about her whatever compliment or thing you pointed out).

I understand the power of the opinion opener, I've tried it out, it wasn't me, the conversations weren't natural for me. On top of that most women now know about the opinion opener and thus it really starts out with the thought process "Really? another lame guy asking my opinion about something stupid", and yes women do think like this.

You want a conversation that builds trust? Start with Direct.
You want a conversation that is direct and starts a conversation, than all you need to do is open up and expose your thoughtful thoughts to her. This is a big part of direct game.
You want to have a web of conversations, learn to once again speak your thoughtful thoughts.

Direct is a lot more than "You got a sweet ass I want to fuck you" and can expose you to so much more about a person with a genuine connection, it also means sex comes naturally and easier.

Peace and Love,

Vic

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2013 5:58 am 
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Sometimes you just need to get your foot in the door. Sometimes you just need to warm her up a little bit. I'm not saying direct doesn't work. But, Once you build a rapport. I feel like that increases your chances. I think sometimes she's not ready for the bold move.

YOu look at the opener as a smoke screen, but its not that. Think of it as stimulating her mind.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 4:48 am 
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I do know this. The subconscious is just as important as the conscious. I mean how you feel. Your inner game conveys alot in your tone and your body language. I think understand what you guys are saying more. If you carry yourself with a certain bearing it conveys value and that comes from within


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 6:57 am 
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Some people are tearing into the random portions of this post in order to find counterpoints which is unhelpful. The statement the OP sighted is a fundamental truth about the game- showing timid interest in an effort to build attraction without risking rejection is a failed strategy

And whoever said:
Quote:
You compliment to make someone feel good and by making them feel good they like you.
needs to understand the difference between affinity and attraction when it comes to woman or you will never have much success.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 8:47 am 
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affinity and attraction. This is all a bunch of bullshit.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 6:07 am 
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Glad you are starting to see what we were talking about.... Your inner glows out!



Well stand up guy there is a big difference between having people attracted to you and having people sexually attracted to you. I have a lot of people who "like" me but that doesn't always translate to sexual attraction, and just so you realize I love complimenting people. It is fun, but as Detox with his usual nuggets of wisdom pointed out sexual attraction is different then affinity or just being an attractive person. I suffered from this disorder for a long time, people liked me and sure a fair share of women had a sexual attraction for me, but that wasn't true MOST of the time.


Peace and Love,

Vic

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:38 pm 
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Quote:
In conclusion: Honestly demonstrating your interest in
a woman short-circuits this issue. It’s a loophole in the investment
paradox
.[/i]

A very interesting point behind the power of the direct approach.
Yes. There's even a science to it. For those who are interested on the reasons why this shit works, here: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wan ... athy-boost

Focus on the concept of mirror neurons.

It also support's Enzo's vibe theory. If you give off the right vibe, say, overly sexual, you will attract overly sexual women. If you give off a Dale Carnegie "How to Win Friends and Influence People" vibe, you will attract good friends.

Now, here's one theory that's worth expanding and exploring:

Sexual Vibe + Friendship Vibe = Friends with Benefits

You can go direct and indirectly communicate that you just want sex without commitments. Combine that with mutual seduction techniques and this shit works like a GE refrigerator; reliable and runs silently in the background. You'll also expand your attraction segment. You'll cover overly sexual women as well as the timid, shy, and conservative types.

:twisted:

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 4:01 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
I still like opinion openers I feel that 1.) Turns the tables. it takes the spotlight off you and puts it on her. 2.)Builds Trusts. It creates trust as you feel like you kow the person because you know what they think.
Girls are horny and guys are horny. It just needs to be some coordination. People need to trust each other before they get naked. Sometimes thats all thats missing. 3.) It tends to lead to a web of conversations


The dangers of direct in my mind are trying to hard to impress, moving to fast, or being a little reckless.
Out of curiosity why do you like opinion openers? Do you believe a woman doesn't realize why you opened her? She still knows you are creating an excuse, where as being bold and vulnerable enough shows a lot more value than an excuse to women. Women know why they open them, they are very intuitive creatures, they usually can tell when you are full of it by pure intuition.

You can walk up and tell a woman her a compliment in such a way that you say it reminds you of..... and then she'll begin to enter the conversation. Oh thank you I got it at bla bla bla, and you are there, started a full blown conversation by identifying with her from the get go.

You exposing your vulnerability builds trust, that is how direct game works, complete honesty and thus trust. Everything about you is exposed and thus you become trustworthy from the beginning.

When a conversation is started on a lie you need to build trust, but when it starts with the truth trust starts as soon as the conversation begins.

The entire approach of direct game is about being trustworthy and not shady as a human being.

Direct requires a lot of calibration but the end results are worthwhile.

You can create a web of conversations by simply learning to expose yourself and your thoughts (yes be more open with women, and it creates a genuine connection). For example: Oh that makes me think of this time, this happened and made that happen... You are open and honest with your thoughts.

Direct covers everything you spoke of, it isn't reckless though many who use it are, it is about not being reckless at all.

Most women respect a man that has the confidence to be direct and vulnerable enough to be real with her. Again she'll begin the relationship with trust.

Just because you are upfront with your intentions doesn't mean you can't have a true conversation.

You can walk up and simply say "I rarely do this, but you look very interesting. I can tell by your .....(style, purse, watch, etc.). I had to come over and introduce myself. I'm Victor." (reach hand out to shake expectantly but palm up, smile, and make strong eye contact.) That is quite direct and at the same time it isn't too overt. Right there you created a conversation piece (she should open up about her whatever compliment or thing you pointed out).

I understand the power of the opinion opener, I've tried it out, it wasn't me, the conversations weren't natural for me. On top of that most women now know about the opinion opener and thus it really starts out with the thought process "Really? another lame guy asking my opinion about something stupid", and yes women do think like this.

You want a conversation that builds trust? Start with Direct.
You want a conversation that is direct and starts a conversation, than all you need to do is open up and expose your thoughtful thoughts to her. This is a big part of direct game.
You want to have a web of conversations, learn to once again speak your thoughtful thoughts.

Direct is a lot more than "You got a sweet ass I want to fuck you" and can expose you to so much more about a person with a genuine connection, it also means sex comes naturally and easier.

Peace and Love,

Vic
I understand your point of view Vic, and I'm not saying that I disagree with you, but there are times when I believe that being indirect is actually better then going direct. Let's take for instance a bar or club scene. Then imagine those pedestal type of girls who get compliments from men all night: "Oh you're so beautiful" bla bla. They hear those compliments all day long. Hell I've made them myself. When I tried to make a compliment on actually a piece of clothing in the opener, it didn't make a difference, the response was the same: "Oh, thanks" (face expression of: I already heard that a thousand times).

Now take those same girls, and open up with an opinion. Sure they know that you open them up because you're interested. Though they seem to understand that it's something different (at least at the clubs where I go) and they open up more warmly, not immediatly that they are interested right away, but at least curious. "Why does he ask that?" Most of they actually ask that. I find that more of a good response, because then I can tell my story behind it. "Well my friend...." and then a story behind it. In my opinion, that leaves more of a door open to get a conversation then "Oh thanks" silence, think of new topic to talk about.

Just my opinion Vic, I can understand your point of view, it's what you like, we both have different kind of game so I respect yours as I hope you can understand mine.

Wallie

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 6:11 pm 
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Quote:
I understand your point of view Vic, and I'm not saying that I disagree with you, but there are times when I believe that being indirect is actually better then going direct. Let's take for instance a bar or club scene. Then imagine those pedestal type of girls who get compliments from men all night: "Oh you're so beautiful" bla bla. They hear those compliments all day long. Hell I've made them myself. When I tried to make a compliment on actually a piece of clothing in the opener, it didn't make a difference, the response was the same: "Oh, thanks" (face expression of: I already heard that a thousand times).

Now take those same girls, and open up with an opinion. Sure they know that you open them up because you're interested. Though they seem to understand that it's something different (at least at the clubs where I go) and they open up more warmly, not immediatly that they are interested right away, but at least curious. "Why does he ask that?" Most of they actually ask that. I find that more of a good response, because then I can tell my story behind it. "Well my friend...." and then a story behind it. In my opinion, that leaves more of a door open to get a conversation then "Oh thanks" silence, think of new topic to talk about.

Just my opinion Vic, I can understand your point of view, it's what you like, we both have different kind of game so I respect yours as I hope you can understand mine.

Wallie

Well compliments need to be delivered in a manner that starts a conversation, you add the why and how you connected with the compliment, that is very necessary.... It's not just about what you say but also how you say it. Delivering a straight you are beautiful is an awful compliment, it leaves no room for conversation. I'd have to agree if you are giving compliments like "you are beautiful" you'll get blown out with regularity but it doesn't happen as often when you have a extreme amount of inner value. Worst you get is a I'm not interested body language but more often than not it starts and easy going conversation.

I respect you wallie and I am not against indirect game, I used it for a long time, in fact I still use it. I just like the power of direct, it is very powerful. Everyone looks at it as being a bad thing to admit your interests, and at certain points you are being over responsive which can be horrible.

Note: To be honest I don't like dealing with pedestal women I feel most of the time they don't offer the value they feel they have. If you think you are better than most people from the get go I'll likely be very unimpressed.

Peace and Love,

Vic

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 12:16 am 
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Everyone with any game knows why complimenting a woman is problematic to attraction. However as several of the more experienced posters pointed out it can be a very effective opener if delivered correctly, which is a general exception to the rule.

Overall we want to convey value for ourselves, so when we compliment it generally gives away value. However for the first 10 seconds upon meeting someone of interest, a bigger priority is giving them a visceral positive feeling (which a well designed compliment can do) while not freaking the target out. This is why compliment openers can be effective specifically, even though complimenting in general is often AFC'ish.

As DDA would say "compliment a woman once when you meet her then not again for 3 months".

And as Mystery has said, "the first 10 seconds of the conversation buys you the next 2 minutes of the conversation".

As others have said there are advantages and disadvantages to both direct and indirect game. I will use one or the other situationally dependent.


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