Getting her back means another 2 years of this LDR shit which was the problem in the first place. 2 years , cannot be done sooner in no possible way.

I have considered this possibility. She was UNHAPPY with ldr. So unhappy that we got in this situation in the first place.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
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How to keep a girl.

And you're going to tell me it's impossible for one of you to move?

You can follow your heart and get back the best thing that's ever happened to you. Or you can move on and live with regret for the rest of your life. You won't get over your stupidity anytime soon. You might as well hang yourself now.

USER HAS BEEN WARNED FOR THIS POST

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

I can't fucking give up college and my entire life for this and move and neither can she.


I'm losing a girl and getting a future as I want it or I'm losing that future to a relationship.

That future is mine.I'm the only one who has power over it.It's all about me.
The relationship is nowhere near as certain because anything can fucking happen and it involves someone else.

Its gonna be hard to get over this no doubt , but if I sacrificed it all for this girl and at some point it would stop working out then yes, I would be left with absolutely nothing and I could just proceed to hanging myself.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

SHE is your future. Not college.

I sacrificed a girl for college, and a career. Where am I now? Unemployed and still scarred from letting the girl go. You will carry that shit forever. You've been warned.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

In the mindstate that I am right now such a decision would be driven purely by emotion. I appreciate you're point but it's an extreme I'm not willing to go to.

She was the one that basically gave up on us due to distance , I could've held my own and hers and continue forward.I agree it sucked but I would've tore through those 2 years of ldr and even more for us no problem. She didn't have that fortitude.


Somehow that makes me feel like she ain't worth it.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I know what you are going throuugh. I had a 3 year relationship which I broke up from due to distance. 2000km so pretty huge.

I had the choice to move to her. But that would have meant giving up the life I was living. I am grateful that I didn't do it because if I did I would have ended up being miserable and that's not someone you want to be if you are in a relationship.

Two years is really nothing if you ask me and in that time you and her can both learn new things sleep with different partners etc. and if you're meant to be together you might end up being together in the future.

It sucks now, time will help. Now go and meet girls !

^^ LOL when you figure this out, let the rest of the world know!

It not easy, and there is not magical trick. Reallity bro. The only cure I know of (or anyone I know of for that matter) is time. It's like the idea of getting high. Durring you were way up, but now you have to suffer through the withdrawls. The longer you are with someone, the longer it takes to get over them.

I find a generally good equation is equal the time you were together to start really moving on, and then that long again until you genuinely get over it. You can always speed up the process with a rebound girl, but I don't recommend it as it never works out and its a lose lose situation.

Take time for yourself and get back in touch with the inner you. Find that feeling of awesome again and it will make getting over her easier AND make you more attractive to new potential girls. That's the right approach.

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"Would it be wrong to join sexaholics anonymous to pick-up chicks?" "...yes, and stop eating that baby."

-Psych3r-

This is one of the dumbest posts I've read here recently, and I read a lot.

R.C. is 20, and his ex is 18. Chances are, they wouldn't have lasted anyways. That's just how young relationships go. People change and grow after high school, and being in a long-term LDR is not a healthy way to grow. As he said, they were both unhappy with the situation and it wasn't worth it.

Fly_Swatter, did you graduate from college? If so, with a degree in what? I have a feeling you got a degree in a non-desirable field with poor job prospects. Nobody's fault but your own.

Sorry to derail your thread R.C., just had to comment on the nonsense posted above.

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You said it was a mutual breakup. Now you're saying she's the one who gave up on you -- that's not a mutual breakup. If she in fact gave up on you, then yes I can agree with your decision.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

It WAS mutual because I completely understood her POV and stood by it. Although I didn't want that brakeup it was clear that in the long run , without it , we would've had no future.I could have went on.She was the one falling to pressure due to lack of life experience and problems with her parents.

It IS a necessary sacrifice.

If in 2 years we'll meet again and revive this connection we'll have our happily ever after. But in order for this to happen we MUST experience what else is out there. Specially her since I'm 2 years ahead.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Haha Fly you gotta read my post properly: R.C you are on the right track! And as much as Fly usually gives good advice, I do believe he is wrong in this case.. But it's only you who can figure that out. Give yourself space to think and reflect!
Can't you tell your friends straight up you don't wanna hear any news about her? Explain that you are trying to move on and need distance.. Shouldn't be too hard right?

If she was worth it, you would have made it work. She wasn't worth it. Just admit what you already know and accept it. You're yankin' out the violin to play the good guy (Good guys should feel bad about a break-up with a good girl right?) but there are no good guys or bad guys. . . it's just a mismatch, whether you feel this is primarily due to the distance or anything else, a mismatch is a mismatch. Just accept it and move on.

And if you were worth it, she would have made it work as well. Long ago a buddy of mine found himself in a similar situation. The girl blamed the 'distance'. "Good girls" always blame some external, uncontrollable factor for a break-up as they can never simply say, "Yes, I want to fuck around." or "Sorry buddy, you're just not doing it for me." - so instead of taking the 'nice girl' clue and taking it as it is, the guy dropped a promising start-up technology company, screwed over his partner (who plopped a ton of money into it) and moved to some boondocks to play the 'I'll do anything for your love gig'. They both played the charade for 6 more months.

Plenty of life ahead.

you can do one of 3 things, and ive done all 3 so i know from experience

1) you can sit there and mope about it which is what you are doing, and from personal experience thats bad because you will get worse and worse and worse, the reason being all youll think about is her and then the, what could i have changed, what can i do, can i win her back and so on

2) you can find some trick or technique to get over her: yoga, mediatation, affirmations, hypnosis/nlp etc etc, this will help in the short haul but youll realise youre still single and lonely after youve finished

3) very simple: find another girl or multiple girls, youll get your mind off her and get some sex. funny story i broke up with a girl about 4 years ago, the day we broke up i called my best friend at the time, really upset he told me to come round his house, it turns out he was entertaining some chick just a 'special friend nothing serious' (a real sex freak) and a 9 told them what happened got drunk i went to sleep on his sofa, and woke up to her giving me a handjob ,
next day told him what happened didnt phase him, and invited me to comeback that night to my surprise she had a friend, done both her and the friend and got double blown in his apartment with his permission!! now that was a good friend! i only tell you this because if you sit there and mope youll miss such opportunities, and it got me over it very quickly

the point is if you guys wanted too work it wouldnt matter regardless so someone didnt want so relationship over its the way you deal with it that matters

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Yeah I guess I kinda was.

Problem is that this brake up came in the worst possible timing. It's during the finals so good luck managing to get ANYONE out of the house to actually go do anything. No courses during finals...basically I was forced to stay at home almost all day for a few weeks.Seriously..worse timing ever.

Anyway,couple of days ago I had a little talk with her.She told me that she got drunk and kissed some major afc. Keep in mind that at this point we're no longer together so...basically it's ok by me,rationally. Emotionally,it hurts ,evidently. Gotta say tho I respect her for being honest. I mean , she could've never told me and I'd never find out. It's a rare quality , where I live at least and I find it admirable.She felt she owed it to me.
Said it meant nothing and that she was just having fun. She says she "misses 'dancing and having fun' with random strangers". Whatever, due to her style(some strong morals ) and some other slight problems kissing is all anyone will get for a long time with her.



She's 18 ,so I understand why / what she's doing.However,this kiss thing kinda helped me out a bit and I drew a line in the sand and pretty much let her know my mind.


It's kinda weird...I never made her feel guilty about kissing the guy. Quite the opposite , I told her I'm glad she's having a good time. I did however tell her that these things are indirectly hurting me since I can control anything except what I feel. So I told her I will be removing her from my FB friends list , removing photos , all reminders of her and braking contact for an undetermined period.


After which I removed her from my facebook friends list / stacked all photos and reminders of her aside. Basically went full no contact.



It's the first time since I met her that I actually went full no contact and it's amazingly strong. She's been texting me left and right the last few days with "I'm so sorry" and "I love you" "I just wanna talk to you..." "I fucked up so bad " "Please forgive me" "I'm scared that because of what I did you're gonna go fuck some girl".


I moved all my sex videos / pics of and with her on a strongly password protected usb flash and gave it to my best friend for safe keeping.Told him to punch me relentlessly in the nuts if I ever ask for it anytime soon.It's surprisingly effective how the fear of getting uppercutted in the balls will keep you from relapsing.


In any case,this relationship is over for now.She can crawl the 300 miles distance between where we live on her knees and I'm still gonna say no.Only reason for that is that before she has enough 'single' experience 'we' are never really gonna work.I'm perfectly aware of that. No use in wasting any of our time.


All in all I'm feeling better. College is starting again and so finally things are coming back to normal and I'm not 'forced' to think about her 24/7.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

remember to stick to this and stay strong and with it, if you fold and let her back into your life its just gonna make you look weak

_________________
life sucks and then you die! deal with it