so i asked my colleague out last august. despite giving strong ioi's (rubbing hand, telling me she liked me etc) she said no claiming she was scared that it would go wrong (which has kind of kept me dangling a bit and misleading). i said we could be friends but since then things got weird. we didnt talk for months but when we did there was no awkwardness.

every time i try some pua trick i just come off weird. today on the advice of one poster i said 'do you want to kiss me' to which she said no. im tired of playing games and just want to be upfront and honest.

i spoke to her friend today who advised i speak to her at a works drink tomorrow to clear the air once and for all as its been 5 months. it is not my interest to ask her out but just to clear the air. what do you think? wise or not?

you have to make the decision for her. Women can be indecisive so it will be wise to make her a yes or no girl. Either green or red lights from now on. The yellow lights are for suckers and waste time. Go for it.

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Seems to me that you're missing a few steps. The "do you want to kiss me" thing is not a trick that you do out of the blue and works perfectly every time. It only works if you've reached certain levels in attraction.

Don't forget you're in a professional environment. You are not on a date or a social gettogether or anything. She is there because she has to be. Same goes for you. An easy way to look at this would be to ask yourself "Is she here for me?". It's not even a day one if you two are there as a positive answer to one of your invites.
Seems like you're really pushing for this to happen from the wrong way. Concentrate on being able to take her out first.

yes but i'm not interested in pushing for anything here. i just want to clear the air between us since asking her out.

One thing I find that works perfectly for clearing the air is doing nothing. Act like however you want to. Don't clear the air. Make this, in your mind, a closed case. She'll see it. She'll see you're not flirting or looking for more. If you treat her like any other person it's gonna be fine in time. If you're awkward with her she'll always think you're waiting for your next right moment. Get another girl, mention her casually. That'll clear the air as well.

Sorry, got one thing to add. Why are you concerned with clearing the air with her this badly? Are you trying to pull off a long term scenario where you start not caring about her and then go back to her and this time she wants you? If it's not that, then like I said, dont worry too much about clearing the air. Do whatever you wanna. But if you're still interested in her then that's another story.

dunno. she's the kind of girl that cant make decisions and needs someone else to make decisions for her.

half of me wants to lay it on the line and tell her whats what and tell her we're going out. some girls respond to being told what to do rather than being asked.

i'm not normally the kind of guy to tell a girl whats what. i'm normally quite passive in the hope they'll make the first move and tell me whats what.

I get what you're saying. This is the thing that'll take no incongruences whatsoever. A guy who's going to tell her what's what and succeed has no hesitations. If you try to do it and you don't look like you're going to succeed, then it's not going to work cuz she's gonna know it's an incongruent attempt. I watched this movie a few days ago, Crazy Stupid Love. It sounds like one of them Notebook kinda movies, but it's a romantic comedy thing with Steve Carell, also Emma Stone (oh boy) so it's entertaining. You should check out the dude Ryan Gosling plays in the movie. Everyone has it in them to pull that off, but you need a huge amount of self respect. Inner game is the deal here. My uncle has looks I can describe as "funny". And he's amazing with women. I guess I'm lucky for having a chance to see in real life that with the right attitude, you can succeed with even my uncle's looks. What's the thing that separates him? Well, he never fully understood what a rejection was. He never will. But he keeps his manners, he's never insulting to women. And why would he be? It's all fair play for him, and he has no negative feelings about women. Many people including me have experienced rejection though, and we took it hard. One thing the pua community has taught me is that when you understand enough, you can't really blame all those girls who said no to you. They must have had a reason to reject. So keep looking forward and trying to be a better man. It's gonna take time. It's not something you switch on on cue. When you think you're confident enough to be able to tell her what's what, she's going to be seeing that long before you did. And if she's available at the time, she'll probably follow your lead.

when i'e had a few drinks inside me...i'm a different person. i dont care about anything. its no coincidence i only score when drunk. thats why im waiting until the drinks do.