i read a useful article that suggests that women like to confuse guys the way illusionists use illusions to distract people from what is really going on.

an illusionist distracts his audience from what is really going on - that what is happening is actually an illusion and not actually taking place.

so - when a girl confuses a guy into making him think she likes him she is really distracting him from what is really happening.

for example there is one girl who i liked and who gave me all the signals she liked me too, only when i made my move she would not commit. but rather than say 'im not interested' or 'i don't see you that way' or whatever she said 'i can't go out with you cos im scared it would go wrong'.

this really confused me cos it was like she was saying she was interested only she was scared UNTIL i found out she was still holding a candle for her ex. thus i realised she wanted me to continue to show her interest to boost her own self-esteem whilst she held our for her ex. crafty hey?

so if you find a girl is sending you mixed messages try to see what is really happening and how she benefits from keeping you distracted. a confused guy is a guy under her total control.

You are correct. Sometimes they'll do things to confuse the guy in an attempt to manipulate him into doing what they want, i.e. giving her more attention. Other times they will confuse guys by doing random, unpredictable things...even if it ends up hurting the woman herself. The reason they do this is to prevent the guy from being able to predict her actions.

I relate it to poker and tells and false tells. The moment you can read your opponent, you own them at the poker table. But if you can't read them at all, or they give you false indications of weakness and strength, then you have no ability to predict what kind of cards they are holding. Women do this to try to preserve their power over men.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Many girls also like stringing along multiple guys to keep their options open. That could be the situation with the OP's girl. She might be keeping him around in case things don't work out with the ex.

I have no doubt that ^this^ was the case.

she showed clear signs of interest and yet...was not making committment. when i pressed her about her 'fear' i got no answer. so i pulled back and waited to see what happened. she mirrored my actions. i froze her out, she froze me out harder! keeping me out of social do's etc. When i initiated contact she was receptive but only to a degree. any hint of pushing things further and she would clam up. it made no sense...until i heard from a mutual friend that she was pouring her heart out to him about her ex who she supposedly dumped.

obviously he was the one who dumped her, she's still waiting to see how that panned out, meanwhile i was mr back-up. the guy she could turn to in the event things didn't work out and as we all know...they never do turn to their back-ups, or very rarely because they have no respect for him.

so i called her on it. now she knows i know.

They also play the guys off each other, albeit indirectly. She'll tell you that she's seeing so-and-so. And she'll tell him that she's seeing you. Then if either one of you act up, she'll threaten to leave you for the other and use that guy as leverage against you.

That's why if possible, you need to let her know that you aren't a fallback guy. Make her think that if she tries to see the other guy she risks losing you.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Agreed with all the previous comments. But I want to add that if you want those kind of chicks( or any chick really) you need to make her know that you are the prize and not her! Also once you give less fuck about her, the more she gets attracted.. Pitty for nice guys, but that is the truth.

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In this world, you don't get what you deserve but what you fight for!

There is truth to that statement. However, some chicks are used to guys throwing themselves at them, and they start to enjoy the power. If they meet a guy who doesn't do that, half the time they'll just next you and find another guy whom they can control more easily. However, the other half the time they'll fuck you, which is why there is truth to that statement.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

I went one better. I intimated that she has lost me if she's holding out for someone else.

Rather than talk just show. Actions speak louder than words. Be less available, have a life where you constantly meet new people. She will get the memo. All the girls that tried to play the ultimatum usually backtracked or knew it was a lost cause. I have options, if she doesn't shape up. Bye bye.

Mr. A

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In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

Well, yes, this as also. although i've been doing this for the past 4 months. lol. it's only now i've accepted it as a lost cause. flogging a dead horse.

I had the same thing recently, I think I was being distracted from what was really going on. But it is not worth being a fallback guy, or to be strung along whilst they're hoping to reconcile with an ex or something like that. The girl I was seeing recently found out that her ex was sleeping with someone else I think and she suddenly became confused and didn't know what she wanted etc.

So I blocked her on all social networking sites, deleted her number and I am on strict no contact. Not gonna chase her like a chump even though I REALLY want to! I know its bad for me and won't solve anything. So many questions I want answers to, but you've got to let it go.

in my experience, time will always give you the answers you need to know.

it is a great asset is time.

You're right. It will probably be a painful answer where I find out she is with someone else, back with her ex or whatever.

A part of me still hopes she will contact me again and will miss you know that I have disappeared from her life. But I know this is a natural phase that will pass. No contact is a win/win, they either miss you and allow you to re-evaluate whether you wish to pursue anything (though usually a bad idea) or you just get over it and move on.

It's all dependent upon whether she finds someone else. If she does, then you can wait until the next time Halley's Comet comes around before contacting her and it still won't matter. She'll be happy without you. But if she is lonely and hasn't found someone a month from now, she'll be desperate to have you back in her life again so that she doesn't have to feel alone. The loneliness also has an added benefit of making her more appreciative of the things about the last person she liked, which ideally would be you.

The same is true for guys. Would you honestly sweat any broad if you knew that you could call up some other hb10 and have her come over and blow you and fuck you?

The yearning for someone's companionship and attention is always a result of a certain level of desperation and loneliness.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

You guys are giving girls too much credit. Most, especially the younger ones, are an amalgamated glob of countervailing emotions, mangled pathology, and unconscious genetically driven behavior which is rationalized with whatever excuses are the most convenient for them to use at the time. You cant really blame them for being "confusing" in light of all this.