Originally posted in my journal, link below. . .

Having done many risky things in my life and some pretty stupid decisions, I have come to a point in life which is truly life changing and should, hopefully, be eye opening.

I had a woman who lived with me for about a month's time. Our sex life was very intimate and we trusted each other fully. The trust part was important because she had allergies and itches from using condoms, so we only practiced unsafe sex. However, there were other ways of preventing accidents to occur.

She left the country and in result, we broke up.

I got a message from her yesterday night demanding that I get on SPAM and talk to her about something important.

I call her and she is crying and shaking on the webcam. She barely gets the words out, but manages to tell me what she wanted to say: She is pregnant.

The world melted before my eyes and I could barely keep myself calm. She had apparently forgotten the pregnancy tests and other stuff in my bathroom and could never therefore check her status after the last time we had sex.

This was a big mistake and an even bigger accident in general. After doing some talking, she told me she plans on keeping the child but wants nothing in return from me; whether it be money, support of other sorts, or even being physically present when raising the child.

She wants to raise it herself in the country she lives in.

This is near to acceptable to me, considering that I am only 20 years old and she is 35 and more than capable of raising a child on her own. Especially with all the support she has from her family and friends - some of which have been single mom's and raised over four children all by themselves.

This is, therefore, how the current situation looks like:

- We will have a child.
- She will raise it by herself in a country far away from mine.
- She doesn't want to put pressure on me and requires no support at all from my side.
- It will basically be as if I don't even have a child, even if I do.

^Even though the situation seems more merciful than it COULD have been - I am only in the eye of the shitstorm and the situation will only grow more intense as we get closer to the baby's birth.

Now just imagine the phone calls and conversations I have to go through with my conservative family members.

The point of the story is whatever you make of it.

Pick-up is fun and motivational, but it can easily allow you to carry yourself away. In my situation, we had no choice but to have sex without a condom, but she had been doing all this time without any problems due to her other ways of preventing pregnancies and other issues.

However, you still never know. Accidents do occur.

But I'm not here to teach you a lesson on practicing safe sex. I'm merely writing this story in hope that it will inspire you and help you think twice before doubting whether you should wear a condom or not. Because before you know it, your whole life has changed at a very early age and there is nothing you can do about it.

Mind you that this woman talks her whole life about how she never, EVER, wants kids. . . Which, ashamed to admit, played a big role in my decision making on practicing unsafe sex because subconsciously I told myself that even if she got pregnant, she would without doubt get an abortion.

Again: You never know. It's not worth the risk just so you can get your dick for a night.

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I once read something like this, but among the lines of puas that had like 3 or 4 kids with different females.

I can understand you are in a tought spot here, but I think we all understand about the risks that puas brings in our lives.

Of course, never trust anyone. No matter what the fuck she says to you. But you`ve learned your lesson, the hard way, but you wont forget it.

Wish you the best of lucks, don`t be too hard on yourself for an accident. Shit happens.

Most puas had multiple abortion i heard Jeffy about 20, i had very similar situations, anyways, you need to:

1.- find out if is real and she is not bsing( i had 2 girls fake pregancies after break ups, one is now a playboy model)
2.- blood test to make sure is yours.
3. try to convince her not to keep the baby(it is a hard sell but you need to push for that specially you being 20 you are a baby yourself), you need to explain to her or the consequences of having a baby. Unless you want to keep it, most if not all women will want to keep it.
4.- if she is saying all that stuff, make sure she has in some type of legal document, that you are SPAM the rights for the baby. Cause she can come after you after and you may have to pay retro active support.


Pregnancies, stds, etc... Is the price you pay, that is why you as you are having unprotected sex have to have the "talk". My 2 cents, good luck to you, is one of the worst situations to be in, super stressful and the word literally stops for you, i have been there.

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Thanks guys, but I hope that this thread didn't come off as me reaching out for help. As mentioned earlier, it is merely a living example of what can happen to you and the existence of the possibility that it can be YOU.

I appreciate all the support and I am dealing with the situation as best as I can.

Human beings are gross optimists at default. We never believe it can be us. We never consider the potential dangers, whether it be diseases or other threatening risks, on a level beyond the logical.

We are told these things by everyone and society teaches us a great deal of good things, but we don't understand our lessons until it happens to us.

I know that the people reading this thread will go 'oh shit, I'm sorry man'. . . but it is not nearly enough to inspire them to change their ways (this doesn't obviously apply to you who already practice safe sex). However, it is still a step closer to motivating the lazy human brain beyond just learning the risks from the local teacher in high school.

This is a real example from a real situation that happened to a real person and even if you don't stop and try internalizing everything that has been said here - it will at least, hopefully, leave you thinking for a while.

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skills360, what Jeffry says I doubt. He's trying to sell pick up material. So saying he's knocked up 20 women may drive his agenda. If it's true, the women have looked like total crap. Similar too you saying you knocked up a playboy model b/c "play boy model " has nothing to do with this discussion. Why you want to add that detail is beyond comprehension but if that was the truth, I doubt you would feel the need to say it on a forum in this type of post.

Anyway, Little Panda, it sounds to me like her story to you about not using condoms b/c she gets rashes was skeptical at best. Even if you saw it, she could have done something else to herself to cause her to look sick, then convince you if you wanted to fuck you would have to do it raw. If she is 35, she knew her biological clock was ticking and this was something she wanted and you just so happened to be a logical sperm donor; right place at right time for her, wrong place and wrong time for you. I do agree with Skills360 that you need to at least get advice from an attorney on how to proceed so that you can clear yourself of financial responsibility b/c you may not hear from this girl for 17 years then all the sudden be hit with a support suit seeking 100 grand, (relative to how much money you make during your adult life).

I think she wanted to SPAM with you to let you know b/c if she knows you are the biological father, She wants to keep a window of communication open with you for a couple reasons. Kids do get sick and sometimes it takes the biological father having a medical procedure to offer the only chance they can survive. It's rare but it's happened. Also the child may some day ask about his biological father and she will want to know where to direct the kid if it happens and know you know there's a possibility it could. Also if you are American and she is from some third world country or somewhere like Mexico, this may give her access to come back and have an easier chance at citizenship or for the child to have easier chance. That's something else to discuss with the attorney so be honest and tell them everything.

I would recommend you proceed by talking about this with an attorney before you even think about another female. If you don't plan to be in the child's life, that's fine. IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO TELL YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS. They are going to give you advice you may not want to hear and may not be in your best interest anyway b/c family and friends tend to view your situation from a jaded standpoint, unlike someone like me who doesn't know you and honestly doesn't give a shit. If you decide to tell a future possibly wife, that's different.

The next thing I would recommend is to step back and take an epic lesson from it all. One much greater than you are promoting here and that hasn't probably dawned on you. If a 35 year old lied her way to using you as a sperm donor then got the hell out of the country and you are satisfied she never returns, don't get yourself in this situation again. Obviously she was a woman of considerably lower social value than you and you didn't have to get yourself in this situation to settle for this type of lay for your first love child but you did.


Get someone your own age of similar value and similar goals and views. Obviously there was one woman in the world who wanted to have raw sex with you so that means there are probably others. But pro-creation is something men have to think about b/c the kids statistically speaking, grow up to lead troubled lives. they can come back to haunt you in several ways, and the more you have, the crappier your lifestyle and the crappier the women you will have to settle for going forward. I've seen that trend with my own friends. Now you always have the possibility that when you are 40 you're cruising along happy as a clam doing the family thing and this child shows up at the door wanting to know his father. Are you gonna tell your current wife? If you don't, that could spell trouble, if you do, some women will disqualify you from the start.

Dude wtf, are you nippicking my post worry about your response, have you been through his situation i have multiple times, the playboy model has to with the discussion in the context that she "fake a pregnancy" so is in the context of the discussion, my point was the status or beauty of the girl does not matter they can be as spitful when you break up, the other girl that fake the pregnacy was an average girl, which i can careless i am not here to impress you, i do care about was going on with little panda, and he was the one to link me to this post, about jeffy, i heard td in one of his videos, his point was to use condoms, dude are you this negative in your life. Thanks for expending a page describing common sense people already know and repeating my advise. Let me ask you have you gotten girls pregnant and have you had to deal with this situation? If not, you are keyboard joking which i suspect you are.

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1.) You need to take responsibility and be a father to this child. If this is a male child he will need a male role model in his life. If it is a female child she will suffer without a fathers affection.

2.) I don't know why you would trust a woman enough to have sex with her without a condom. Even when I wear a condom and I always feel afraid like what if I came in her.

Always use a condom...the times I never used a condom was with a long term relationship and I took her to the Gynecologist ton have her tested and for to get birth control. So I am always mature when it comes to having sex...it is supposed to be fun!

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I know where you are coming from in that they can keep you hanging on by saying they are pregnant. His story doesn't sound like one where that is the case b/c she's not in the country and he says she has no plans to come back (at least for now). And she says she wants to raise the child with her friends and family rather than him, a 20 year old, which is easy to believe. I read his post again and I would suspect he is more-or-less illustrating a point to be careful. His details of how this happened and what occurred in the aftermath are a little bit melo-dramatic, veige, and far-fetched but that's not the point. There are certain elements to it which a man can easily find himself in particularly with immigrants, women of lesser value, or, older women who do not have children but want them and know their time is running out.

I have said everything there is to say in this thread.

If you'd like to follow the progress/situation, look into my journal on the last page (link in signature).

Post here if you got any further additions to the discussion on the topic, I will gladly answer.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html