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BINGOBERRRY'S FIRST LAY REPORT
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It all started at a supermarket, A New Zealand shopping Branch. I was attempting to hit on this chick right behind some people from a different institution that I study from. My mate was like you should hit on that chick right behind those dudes from that place, so I did. But even though I agreed to it, I had a real bad feeling since those people knew I go up to random people. Now picture this:
people that could potentially cockblock me in a line about 30 people long to a till in a crowded supermarket at probably the busiest time of day.
Problem for me? Naaaaahhhh I'll do it, I don't like being afraid of shit. So I start chatting her up find out shes from England yada yada... Then those students go for the epic cockblock: "Sorry he does this alot, he's alittle creepy." I found that really low and really gave in to their frame, I shouldn't of done that I realize that now.(Best to deal with a cockblock is by ignoring it, just carrying on with whats going in your world)
I was pissed off and calling out names at those people, one of them smiling at me as they exited the supermarket(Maybe scared Im going to beat the fuck out of him, or amused at the situation, not too sure?).
I turn to my mate and he asks me what happened, I tell him they cockblocked me, he comforts me sort of lol. (You had a bad feeling going in, it's all good) So I see some random girl go by and Im like: "Lets see if I still got this"
*I chase after in the middle of a street, touch her shoulder from behind and stop her*
Me:Hi, Just a second
Her:hhmmm?*Putting her shades to her forehead*
Me:I just had to tell you, you are real cute seriously!
Her: Uhh thank you *huge smile*
Me:Im *** "Taking out my hand for a handshake" whats your name?
Her: Its *** "Shakes my hand"
Me:You work/study....*basically just fluff talk*
Her:Fluff talk here too
Me:You wana grab a coffee sometime?
Her:Uhmmm sure
Me:How about you give me your number and we can set it up
Her:yep lets do that
*so we exhange numbers, I go for the hug-she somewhat pushes me away, But I act like it isn't a big deal at all.*
Text exchange:
Me:Hey ****, was nice meeting you:] - *****
Her:hey ***, yeah you to.. lol your brave haha
Me:You have no idea;] Whats your schedule like this week?
Her:hectic lol.. im working wed thur and fri 7 till 5 and on friday evening im going to tauranga for a week lol so unless you want to see if we can grab a coffe at lunch orsomthing im afraid we will have to wait till the following week lol sorry
Me:That is allgood:] 7pm tomorrow night, bring your smile
Her:what do you do ****? are you studying? or du u work?
Me:Im an animator, you?
Her:lol.. 7p.m. tomorrow night for what? an animator aye? neat im self employed im an independant commision agent
Me:Coffee, just get to know each other;] cya tomorrow hun
Her:lol ok guess ima b there lmao
Next day-(texts)
Her:where are you from?
Her:hi *****, i cant make it at 7 i have a meeting.. i can do between 5.30 and 6.30 if your keen?
Me:Perfect actually:] meet you outside ***** at 5:30
Her:lol ok...sounds good:]
Her:ahem lol
Me:Is that you in the re d?
Her:no haha.. im in ***** lol..
Her:im just grabbing something
Me:Okay:]
Her:i can see you du u see me?
Me:Yea cute wave:]
So we meet outside the mall after it turns out she was buying smokes lol. if you look in the texts I really just aim to say as little as possible while managing the convo and moving things forward, nothing amazing.
I decide on the coffee shop and we pretty much head there, she drops the ball, tells me she has a kid. I don't act like it's a big deal, there are some funny bits, fluff, just natural shit anyway.
We get to the coffee shop, I know the dude serving the coffee, we have a general chat all is well! I order the moccachino I think is how you spell it? Was p damn good, she got the frappe.
I decide where we sit, just so happens to be a couch-she sits next to me instead of across(In my head I was like BOOOYYAA investment? I think so.)
So we pretty much get to know each other, there are points of teasing, awkward moments, me showing her my artwork, some light touching, plenty of eye contact and fluff.
I wish I could remember specific shit that would help people starting out, but really, as long as you keep your frame steady, I don't think there much to dates lol.
I kept asking her how close she lived lol(Logistics inddeeedd) and I told her I had 8 girlfriends before and one had punched me in the face during sex(I saw this during californication, thought that shit would make it more believable lol) I had never had a girlfriend in reality and never had sex, this lie came back to me after lol. I handled it pretty good though..
So I ask her if we can to her place, maybe watch tv?? (hhheeehheewooohoo) She's like: "sure,I'll show you the rooftop." To be honest I somewhat thought it would be harder getting her back to her place, but I guess it shows chicks want sex, they just don't want you to ever directly ask them for it.
So at her rooftop, it's real chilly, this is where I really start to make moves, since I know we are secluded. She sits on this bench, sort of shivering, me sitting down putting my arm round her...
Me: You know what I REALLY wanna do right now?
Her:Hmmmm?
Me: I just wanna kiss your face
So I do: I kiss her face! I looking back on this I should of gone for something like: Your lips so tasty, or something like that, little riskier but another option I guess
She feels it's too cold, so we head to her apartment. (At this part Im like, well okay this shit is working) She puts on the tv does all these things I guess people do when they get home like close the curtains, take off the coat etc.
So there I am chilling on the couch watching tv lol. Ah one part I remember, she asks me how what my quote is; like what I say often. I saw like really slow monotone shits and fucks, my mates and I find it halarious.
so we end up cuddling on the couch me kissing the side of her face(she wouldn't kiss with lips, don't really get that too much) , biting her neck, caressing every part of her body nice and slowly..
*Her moans made me so fucking horny when I bit, pretty sure she has a few marks that remind her of me lol*
Then I've heard of this shit never seen it in action till: "I don't think we're going to have sex tonight." This is after she felt my dick and it was rock hard;"Wow your keen."
So I didn't even really notice it in the moment, I guess after I heard that I was naturally like okay fuck it, why am I trying lol. So I get off her and watch whatever we were watching don't really remember. Theres some parts of me biting her neck again, she fucking loved that! There was my saliva all over her, yum.
She gets up to go to the bathroom, I don't know lol. So I take it as a que for some reason to take my clothes off, I hide in her room with only my socks on. I was alittle nervous coming out with (Im used to dealing with anxiety or nerves) So when I wasn't on the couch, she found me in the room and I came out after her naked :"Woooow you really are keen" basically restraining me at arms length from bodies touching.
I just play it cool, so we cuddle on the couch, with me fully naked(Oh and my socks) Her giving me a handjob, I don't know what she was doing, she was playing with my dick though lol. She tells me wants to finishing watching this soap/drama show(In my head Im like: Like hell you are woman). She tells me feel free to go down there. So I tease her down there, rubbing gently above her clit...I bite her neck simultaneously...She moans, her body jolts out of that tingling sensation, I can tell she can't control herself.
Eventually she blantanly states: "Im wet"
She gets up turns off the soap drama to the music channel, goes to her room undresses and waits for me. Im like hhmmm on the couch for about 2 mins, then come in and see her in her underwear.
She wants me ssssooooooo bad, I make her cum 3 times, we do it twice, various positions yada yada! She loved my pulling her hair, there was random cliche moment I was like: Whats my name? Real sexual
Her: its **** oohhhh
Me:louder
Her: ohh ohhh OHHH *****
Me: louder
Her: OOOOHH OOH OHH ****
In the moment I was like holy fuck this feels so right, afterwards I was cracking up, that shit is funny lol.
I spanked her a couple, banged her head against the wall, I thrusted so hard, she really enjoyed me. She couldn't believe I was a virgin when I told her.
There was pillow talk inbetween, she kissed me then real intimate, cuddled up against me. Showed me pictures of her family, yada yada she thought I was bored (I kinda was at points lol) She really gave a lot, put my hand on this scar of hers, I just was like hmmm okay...She told me about her ex boyfriend and the dude shes dating now, how she feels guilty because she enjoyed the sex with me.I was just chilled/relaxed. If she gave me some teasing or something I just ignored it, I saw almost she automatically went to cuddle me straight away, like she was afraid of losing me. We played that thumb wrestling game, talked about how she thought I was kinda awkward at the start of the date and how my glasses were nerdy/geeky, then I took my shirt off lol. She asked me what I thought about her, I told her she seemed very insecure and she needed to fully accept herself.
I didn't manage to cum, only dissapointment I guess, that and I couldn't feel anything LOL. So next goal will be to cum and enjoy the sex-20 women is my goal.
I left pretty much after she came for the 3rd time(It's amazing watching someone orgasm) She wanted me to stay I could tell, but I had to do my workout and go course the next day(Both things I didn't do that night).
She walked me to her elevator and we kissed. She texted me an x;] I replied ;]
Well the reports pretty much over from there, but the end part I thought she had given me and std lol. Woke up with a lump on my dick two days later
Heres the texts: Bonus ending
Me:The other night was my first time, are u sure don't have anything?
Her:wat?
Her:wat do u mean your first time?
me:Virgin
Her:FUCK!!!!!!you serious?
Me:Yes, tell me if u have anything seriously
Her:I swear i didnt last time i checked ill go again today... but y dnt yhu go and check hun... shit really? i took you V card? omgsh im sorry
Her:your just joking me a?you wernt really a virgin right?
Her:pls txt me bak this is not funny
Me:It's not a joke, theres a lump on my dick..
Me:no I really was a virgin
Her:fuk off... i ddnt give you that eeww... its not that little lump that i was asking you about is it? go to the fucking family planning nurse in **** right now.. tell them its an emergency.. get it checked fuck you y did you lie to me? you told me you had been with eight girls.. one of them fucking punched you..seriously? yd you lie? omgsh... i cant handle this today... fuck
Her:Send me a picture of it...maybe ill knw
Me:no it's not that, it's on my shaft. *Gross description about this much text********************)
Her:fuk.. did you put something down there? lol nah sorry idk... it doesnt sound like an sti anyway ... i swear i have no herpies lmao that would be a scab and id have to have a scab to pass it to you and you went down on me and i dont have any grose...but i reckon go family planning and find out better safe then sorry
Me:Something down there? Like what? And 9/10 first time with an sti scare...legendary
Her:fuk i swear im sure im sure i dnt have anything but stup freaking me out go get it checked like a marbel or something
Me:Alright, I'll tell you how it goes
Her:k im gonna go after work too lol
Me:
Her:u ddnt asnwe my question though y the fuck did you lie to me?
her:it could be a cyst or an ingrown hair.... how long have you been shaving?
Me:Nobody wants to fuck a virgin and for like a year
Her:ok..does this limp secret anything? like puss or blood? is there a scab? and what colour is it?
Her:grose questions i know but... my mums a midwife and ive got heaps of health and medical books etc... plus I have a son
Me:No and same colour as my cock
Her:i reckon it could be a cyst if it isnt excreting anything then i dont think its an sti.. have you booked time with the nurse?
Me:Your such a mum. Going to a clinic now
Her:not funny egg your such a child ggrr
*Me not replying lol*
Her:and then?
Her:if i have something and i gave it to you it wouldnt show for at least a week usually 3 to 4 weeks
Me:nothing to worry about. Folici something-condom must of been too tight
Her:nah egg its a blocked hair folicle... where are you?
Her:dd u just finish with them?
Me:Home and yea just finished
Her: Sweet
Sooooo there it is, my first. It didn't seem hard at all in the moment ,everything flowed, looking back now, quite abit actually happened lol. The lie about me having 8 girlfriends came back to m, but was nothing I couldn't handle. It seems if you wana fuck a girl, make it happen and don't fuck it up. Also I feel like she should always be reacting never me, she gives me shit; I ignore, etc
I learned alot and now my goal is to fuck 20 girls and cum LOL..Also this experience was pretty funny at some points can't wait to write my next _________________ Live. Learn. Love. 
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