hey guys dont mind coming here for a bit of advice every now and then when needed...

found myself in a bit of a shit situation of late. wouldnt mind some advice.

First hooked up with this girl a year ago... weve been getting kinda serious but still fairly laid back the last 4 months... seeing eachother lots... awesome sex... etc blah blah same old story.

anyway I invited her to my christmas party last week... and I knew my colleagues would be asking if shes my girlfriend. So I asked her before we went if I could introduce her as my girlfriend. I guess I kinda wanted her to be my girlfriend at the time to and thought it wouldnt be a problem after a YEAR of seeing her. and she kinda freaked out a bit at the idea. I didnt expect this response at all... she said ' Ah I dunno I guess you can' or just 'call me your ___(her name)'....

anyway I let it slide.

so at the party I never called her my girlfriend.... everyone just assumed it. so it was a bit tense as I expected after we had already talked about it.

So I made sure we had a serious talk this week... at least by text anyway... and she told me how she finds it hard to let herself fall for someone. So I said maybe we should just play it by ear for a while and try still be friends. So were still talking and seeing eachother (only once this week which isnt usual)

But it seems that since we tried to 'define' what we were things may be changing. At least on my part anyway.

where is this going? Im not one for playing with emotions or games. Ive been trying to take a step back emotionally over the last 2 weeks, as I dont want to be the only one getting attached.

But Ive seen her for practically a year and she still cant take that step forward to be a 'couple'.

Another sorta crucial part to this is that Im moving away for 2 months in 2 months time. I dont really like the idea of being away from a girl I really like and thinking that she will be carrying on fine perhaps sleeping with other people. I dont wanna set myself up to get burned anyway. which is fair enough.

So now I find myself at a crossroad right before the joyful christmas season that I want to be spending with her.

wat do?

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I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he

ah, I am in the same shoes. You have to maker fall in love with you. I am having that trouble right now...it probably has to do with deeper rapport.

You have to become vulnerable. There is no other way around it. You have to lower your shield before she lowers hers.


I wish I can help you at the moment but I am working on getting that problem fixed myself. But that is the core problem my friend. Hopefully someone else can help. And disregard the fuck her into loving you people that will post it as a solution. Yeah, sex can be good. But getting a girl emotionally addicted to you is far more long-term.


It is not impossible but do take this time off to game other girls and focus on finding out how to learn about deep rapport. Do keep pinging her through text.

_________________
In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

This isn't a challenge of mine. When I want to date a girl, I just tell her how I feel deep down... But like PU, sharing feelings isn't just saying "I love you," it's putting a poetic and artistic twist to it to move her. If she doesn't reciprocate in the least way, I do a 180 the next day and say stuff like "I really don't think we have a future together" to confuse her and keep her guessing (you could call this push-pull). If she reciprocates, then I'll go a couple of days without initiating contact just to show her that I can be independent and non-clingy.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

thanks for the reply. maybe I forgot to mention were both adults.

your suggestion seems a bit immature to me.

I think Im past my days of playing games with women

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I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he

in saying that. maybe the best thing would be to leave her alone for a while.

maybe let her realise what she had.

its not really the time of year to pull that off happily though.

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I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he

You need to release and let go of the situation. Be in control of you because you can't control what this girl feels. You should keep seeing other girls and maybe the time away for a bit can clear your head. It has done so for me. If I get a breakthrough about this I'll let you know if no one else can answer properly.

_________________
In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

inviting a girl who's not your gf to a holiday party with all your colleagues seems like a HORRIBLE idea. why would you do that? if you absolutely have to do it, introduce her as your friend.

discussing it with her ahead of time seems really bad too. its just gonna make you look like youre trying to get her into a relationship. if that is what you want, be a man and tell her that straight up. you definitely weirded her out and made it awkward. hopefully you can overcome that and get things back where they were.

That's what an AFC would say about PU.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

no its really not.

I used PU techniques for years. Im more successful and happy now that I dont use them. very ignorant comment from you, seriously.

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I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he

do you know how childish that sounds?

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I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he

Well. You can keep being the friend of a girl you like. Or you can try something different and get her to want to be with you. But seems like you've already made your choice. Good luck. Cheers to your happiness without games.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.