Sunday morning, at work, and I absolutely not feel like working… Meaning… I think it’s time for me to write another guide on this forum so I can contribute to the quality of this PUA forum. I’ve always been shocked by how LITTLE information this forum has on actual sex and penile problems. I would expect a forum about seduction to AT LEAST have a section about sex, but it’s not the case, hence why I am writing this thread. Having myself suffered from a ton of bad experiences and problems when it comes to sex, I want to help everyone who are going through these experiences and improve their sex life. This is going to be a long thread, but I could not do otherwise… “If I had more time, I would of written you a shorter letter”- Blaise
For those who haven’t checked it out yet, I wrote this guide a while ago:
mrmatt-dancefloor-club-game-vt128197.html
The following thread will be some sort of a part 2 to it… What happens when you did everything right, and you managed to bring a girl home and get her in bed? How can you face you’re fears, problems and become better when it comes to sex and overcome your anxiety or penile problems?
These are the topics that I will talk about:
- The truth about the importance of your size
- Injuries (more specifically torn frenulum and STD’s)
- Erectile dysfunction
- Premature ejaculation
a) Physical causes
b) Mental causes
- Natural ways to increase your size
- Performance anxiety
- Condoms
- How to get better at sex/ Advices
The truth about the importance of your sex
How could I write a guide on sex and penile problems without talking about the importance of penises sizes!
Myth: Penis size is really important and you have to hang like a porn star to easily satisfy girls.
Reality: Even though size has something to do with satisfying your girls, it is not the most important thing when it comes to being able to satisfy your girl. The average size is around 5.5 inches, so if you are bigger than 5 inch, you have what it takes to do the job and you show not be ashamed of what you have down there. If not, there are some natural ways to increase your size, which I will talk about later. Now, you guys have to remember that sex is about 50% physical pleasure and 50% mental pleasure. While penis size do not make that much of a difference when it comes to physical pleasure, having a big penis will most likely turn her on and will provide more mental pleasure.
Injuries & STD’s
I feel like I needed to talk about injuries a bit because we never know what can happen. Since I know that there are a lot of fairly inexperienced guys lurking on the forum, let me talk a bit about torn frenulum. This injury is most likely to happen to young inexperienced guys who probably tried to go a little too rough, this occurs when your frenulum tears apart, which is probably the most painful thing you will ever experience (it did happened to me, and believe me, I would not wish that to my worse enemies). However, if it does happens, do NOT touch, masturbate, have sex or anything related for the next 2-3 weeks. If it happens again, you might need a surgery, so do not hesitate about seeing your doctor about that. Now, a bit about STD’s… I unfortunately experience that as well, and the best thing I can tell you is to use protection when sleeping with a new girls. If, for some reason, you sleep with someone without using a condom, be aware of your little man during the next few days and you should consider seeing your doctor if anything out of the ordinary happens.
Erectile dysfunction
This is one of the most common penile related problems, and thankfully, is often cured pretty easily. First off, you have to find out if your problem is physical or mental. Some guys can get great erection when they are alone, but cannot get it up when they are with a girl (sex anxiety). Be aware that maintaining a good health is really important for maintaining a good erection, so you should always practice some sort of physical exercises, avoid smoking (and even drinking) as much as possible, and eating well.
Now, what if you are under 35, healthy, and still suffer from ED? There might be another physical problem. You pelvic floor is most probably imbalanced. Of course, there are some ways to get a balanced pelvic floor, but it might take time and effort. Yours is probably not strong enough, hence why you need to start a kegelling/reverse kegelling routine. Simply said, kegels is the PC muscle you activate if you want to stop peeing and reverse kegel is when you want force “force peeing” (You are more than welcome to do some research on google on how to master these)
A good beginner routine could be: (4 times a week, focusing on 70% kegels and 30% reverse kegels)
50 kegels, 1-2 seconds hold,
20 kegels, 4-5 seconds hold,
2-5 kegels, 30 seconds hold,
Then, does something similar with RK (reminder: 70% K and 30% RK)
That alone should solve most ED related problems. Now, the mental ones are a bit trickier. These are probably happening because you are still not very experienced and not used to being naked with a female. All I call tell you is that you should rather focus on your immersion and enjoying the moment & stimulation rather than having some sort of anxiety. Now, one of the most commons reasons is…. Porn! Porn addiction is probably the most damaging thing when it comes to “penile health”, porn addiction will basically get you so used to hardcore visual stimulation that your body will not react the same way if you are about to have sex with the lights off. DO NOT RELY ON PORN TO GET ERECTION. So, if you are motivated about this, stop watching porn.
If, for whatever reason, you have tried out all of the above and your problem still persist, go see your doctor.
Premature ejaculation
I am sure most of you guys have been waiting for this part, if you didn’t skip directly to it. Premature ejaculation is by far the most common and scariest problem that men experience during sex. I personally experienced PE, but I have done a lot of research to overcome it and even though I still do not last like a porn star, I made some great progress. Premature ejaculation can be caused by a mental problem or a physical problem. REMINDER: Progress will not be measured overnight and it will take time and dedication to make noticeable progress.
A) The physical causes are the easiest ones to get rid of. Just like ED, they are caused by an imbalanced pelvic floor. This time, your pelvic floor is probably too tight, and you need to focus on reserve kegels. Look up for the part about K and RK routine, and do the same thing, but this time, focusing 70% RK and 30%.
Now, the next thing you should do is to constantly aware of your body. If you pay attention, you will notice that you will often do some involuntary kegels when you get a very aroused, these also causes PE, so you should focus on breathing well, maintaining a small but constant RK and avoid these. Basically, maintaining a constant RK will slow down the “point of no return”, but once you get there, you can also try to Kegel as strong as possible for about 10 second, this can stop the ejaculation if done properly. I am currently working on mastering this one, but I will not really get into this until I am able to perfectly do it (dry orgasm).
B) Now onto the mental causes. PE can occurs when someone is sexually inexperienced or when someone often get over aroused. If that is the case, there are some routines you can do that will most likely help you out. First of all: Quit all porn. It may seem hard to do, but are you willing to sacrifice porn in order to better your sexual life and get rid of this problem?
Here’s a basic routine you can do for PE:
- K and RK routine like I said earlier,
- 10 minute of meditation breathing (Focusing on breathing, while doing a small RK when breathing-in, and releasing when breathing out.
- Edging: Edging is basically masturbation with your imagination only in order to get aware of your body reaction and get you used to stimulation. A good edging exercise would be to go for 10 min (depending how severe your PE is), and constantly go for a better time. While edging, you are only allowed to cum once every 3 session. It will be hard to do at first and need great discipline, but the result will be amazing.
There are other exercises that you can do, but I am trying to not make this thread “too” long, so you can always PM me if you want more information on that matter.
Performance anxiety
Most inexperienced guys will suffer from performance anxiety, but also guys who have suffered from ED or PE. For those inexperienced guys out there, the best advice I can give you is to go all out and don’t be afraid of failing. As a great man once said: “ There is no such thing as failure, there is only winning and learning”.
Go out there, don’t be afraid to try new things, and when you do, focus on your immersion, be in the moment, and don’t think about what might or might not happen. If you have suffered from PE and DE, the best you can do is to work on it with some of the things and said earlier and try to not think about it. The more you think about it, the worse it will be.
Sex advices and tips
Now, this is where the fun parts begin! I will start by giving advices of my own,
but I want this section to be a "mash-up" of advices, tips and tricks from all the experienced guys out there. I want to thread to be some sort of “Sex encyclopia”, and this can only be achieved with your help!
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- The first thing I will tell you about sex is to not take anything too seriously! If you do something wrong, just laugh it off and it won't matter at all! If, on the other hand, you take it seriously and keeps thinking about it, it will most likely be awkward between you and the girl, and it may causes even bigger issues in the future (i.e. Sexual confidence problems).
- Get good with oral sex! Oral sex is an opportunity to give your girl an orgasm before you even started sex! Especially if you still have some sort of performance anxiety, this will remove a ton of pressure if you can give her some pleasure with foreplay.
-Take your time. Unless you are in a hurry and looking for a quickie, always take your time. Don't rush anything, spend some time turning her on, kissing her neck, playing with her breasts, clitoris and vagina.
- Do not focus on positions, angles of insertions, etc. Of course, having a basic knowledge about positions and techniques is mandatory, but do not become a bedroom technician, and remember that at least 50% of the pleasure from sex comes from mental stimulation.
-Don't be afraid to dirty talk or grunt if it feels good, tell her how she is a naughty girl and has been thinking of your cock all day long. Don't be one of those awkward silent guys... If you ever slept with a girl who did not make a sound in bed, you will understand what I mean.
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Being a follower of Sex God by Daniel Rose, allow me to write the four major elements that one should not forget in order to have great sex:
1) Dominance:Even if you should always focus on maintaining these four aspects equally, I find dominance to be really important for me and also easier to do. Be the leader, do not "ask" your girl to switch positions. Grab her and pull her how you want her to be, tell her what to do, be the man that she has be dreaming of all her life. This can also be achieved by small actions, like grabbing her firmly, controlling her hands when fucking on missionary, grabbing her hair while fucking doggy style, etc.
2) Immersion:This basically means: Live in the moment. Do not think about what you are going to do tomorrow, or even how you are going to kick her out once you're done. Live in the moment, focus on the sensation you are feeling with your body, etc. The sex will be much more enjoyable for both of you.
3) Emotion: Sex is the strongest form of emotional connection you could possibly have with a girl. So, while you're at it, why don't you try to trigger some emotional connection? Deep eyes contact, telling her how nice she is, how good it feels, etc.
4) Variety: While you do not want to become a bedroom technician, you should still maintain a good level of variety in your sex life. Fucking your girl in the same missionary position for an hour straight, 4 times a week, 52 weeks a year, might become boring. Try out new stuff, have sex in unorthodox places! The world is your oyster!
This is a brief explanations of the 4 main aspects of sex that you will find in Sex God by Daniel Rose. For anyone who did not read this book yet, go do it now! It is golden!
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Now, this is where I am looking for YOU GUYS, YOU'RE ADVICES, FROM YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. please comment on the thread and I will quote all the good information along with your name! Thanks!
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This guide may be long, but I felt like there was so little information on the subject that it might be useful to some members of the community. My goal while writing this is to help as many people as possible, but if I can help only one person with it, I reached my goal.
Mrmatt