I know most people say LDRs are a waste of time and it is very difficult, if not impossible to make them work. I entered one several years ago when I was 18 after meeting someone through a mutual friend. She lived across the country and we never saw each other a single time after the initial meeting. Despite that, we managed to survive for an entire year. It wasn't that bad, really. I actually like the added alone time anyway.

Anyway, a group of people from Brazil came to my school for a few weeks recently and I REALLY hit it off with one girl in particular. She kind of opened my eyes to the fact that I truly do not like American girls for the most part. I won't go into particulars on that but it was definitely a learning experience. Anyway, we made out several times and there's no doubt I left a long-lasting impression with her. She immediately started texting me once she left and keeps showing me pictures of us kissing and being together.

Now, I'm not sure if I'm developing a case of one-itis or what's happening. But it doesn't feel that way. I genuinely feel as though I would be willing to make a long-distance relationship work with her, and from what I can tell, she'd be willing to give it a try also. We both have the financial means (and I have the work schedule flexibility since I'm self-employed) to see each other every 2-3 months.

I guess the reason I'm posting this is because I want to know if any of you are 100% against LDRs at all. Maybe there's something I didn't think about that would ultimately lead to disaster under nearly any conditions. Any tips or anything like that? I'm pretty excited for this, honestly. Especially after the long gauntlet of shitty American girls I've experienced over the last couple years.

I think short term LDR would work, meaning you guys have plans for your future aka you can be together after couple months or a year of LDR. I don't see it would work any longer than that unless it's an open relationship.

I'm in a LDR myself with a girl from another state, but she's moving in with me by the end of May.

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I've been in 2 LDRs. They are difficult, but its not inconceivable for them to workout so long as there is so plan for one of you to make a location move. Quite honestly I wouldn't do it again as physical intimacy is important to me, and with LDRs (depending on their accessibility to you) there are just too man "What ifs" and "Only ifs" involved. Plus its easy to project things onto another person if you are only able to see them in the flesh a handful of times a year.

Well I've got some good news for you! I also had a LDR with a Brazilian girl living in Europe. She approached me first and we hit it off very deep very fast! First date lasted 3 days with multiple F-close. Now my girl only lived 2 hours away by train but we used the weekends wisely. This had good and bad sides! The extra freedom was great but the more invested I got the harder it was to control my emotions/needyness!

Now fast forward and we are engaged and will be married in December. She was moving back to brazil and she proposed to me and asked me to live with her in Brazil. I said yes as I feel I have met a girl that makes me truly happy! She has also never given me one single reason to get jealous or doubt her. We have our families blessing and I already have a job sorted when I'm out there as her family are quite wealthy!


Now for the bad news! Be very careful with Brazilian women. A lot are just after SPAM for the US or UK! You need to be aware of this and keep your eyes open! My girl has shown me a few of her friends who only want a passport but on average these girls come from a poorer background. They will sleep with you and tell you they love you for years! It happened to my friend except with a Russian lady.

Ps Brazilian girls can get rather emotional at times and infidelity is very common there! You really need to keep your eyes open and make sure you have one of the good ones!

Where in brazil is she from?

LDR in my experience only work for a short time, there is too much temptation out there. I met a girl working abroad, she came over and stayed at mine for a couple of parties here and we decided to date. After about 4 months it was too much without physical contact for both of us so she moved to me.

Recently a girl I know slept round mine and wanted me to bang her but I refused because she is in a LDR with a guy in Australia.

Moral is if she is sexually active and in her 20s/30s then its very unlikely she is going to be faithful. I dont mean that in the sense that all women are dicks but come on! How hard would you find it being really drunk and a 10 hits on you?

There are plenty of other women out there for yo, there is no single "one"

Best of luck bro

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"Lets get out of here..."

That's an interesting story, thanks, and congratulations on the engagement!

She seems to be from a fairly good background. She has a very good job and I'd imagine she makes a pretty nice amount of money. She's also finishing up graduate school. She was complaining how all the guys in Brazil are "sluts" and cheat all the time. I told her the same thing happens in America only with women (I know guys do it too, but I won't tell her that part). She thought that was pretty interesting. Although she seems more interested in me visiting Brazil than her coming back to America.

She is from Sao Paulo. I think that's how you spell it, at least. Where is your fiance from?

Thanks to everyone else for the replies as well. I kind of figured it would work best if there's a specific time for when the long distance thing can end. I'll keep that in mind.

Yes my fiancée is also from São Paulo. It's true what she said about the men but believe me the women are equally as bad. It seems to be a culture thing but there are always exceptions so its up to you to make sure you the exception! She may have a good job but I'd still want to find out about her family background! A lot of the educated girls especially want a passport so as they can maximise their degree! Just be careful!

I know I'm safe as mine has a very successful family behind her and she needs to stay in Brazil.

The good girls can make incredibly loving partners.

My last relationship, ~2.5 years long, was almost a full year of LDR at the beginning of it, she was from another country. It was a long time to go - I don't recommend it and I wouldn't do it again. However, that was almost a full year of no physical contact at all - if we had been able to visit every couple months, every several months, it would be a different story. The relationship certainly didn't suffer from it - it fell apart from other reasons, but it was nothing that could have been predicted.

Tips: Always have something to look forward to in it. Don't make serious plans and over-hype it (it can be easy to project, and to start expecting way more than is reasonable), but always have a date to visit in mind. If you are legitimately serious about the girl, make sure you have a plan to end the distance within a reasonable time frame. It's already been mentioned, but I'll reinforce that - it's important.

Great, thanks for the responses, guys!

This should be a general rule of every guy's. It's known as time bridging in psychology, it tells the other person subconsciously that the connection between you remains in tact. Good mothers actually do this with their children upon dropping them off to school for example, "ok, so after school remember, ice cream!". In the end, most relationship difficulties happen due to a threat/loss of attachment (to varying degrees depending on the individual's attachment styles, of course). But having something you both can look forward to together is an awesome way to sooth attachment fears.

One of the worst parts of LDR is the expectation that falls on the time you actually spend together. If you live in the same city, you can bum around together and not give a second thought to it. Whereas when you meet up with her in another city, if it isn't the most romantic, life-affirming, satisfying hangout you've ever had, you start to question things. There's pressure placed on you to do the most exciting thing ever!!!1 with her, and you may just want to relax. Twice the effort, half the benefits of a close proximity relationship.

The LDR I had, she was in a pretty desolate place, so I didn't have to worry about other guys hitting on her, but there is that, too.

I wouldn't recommend it, because you will feel her enthusiasm for the relationship drain as time goes on. It hurts bad, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

I haven't read all the posts in this topic, but I made my own about LDRs a couple months ago, Snarg. Give it a read. You were the first reply, actually.

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