UPDATE

Oneitis coming over tonight. And in preparation for Halloween, I'm making her play Amnesia with all lights off and pumping stereo speakers.

Sticking point: Had a discussion with SuperMario about my game and we came to a mutual conclusion: I lack persistence. I give up way too easily during cold approaches, I give up way too easily during warm approaches, I give up way too easily when pushing for the closes. And due to the lack of persistence, I couldn't fully close my oneitis last time.

New long-term goal: Persistence.
a) When interacting with a girl I like sexually/romantically, always push for the close, whether it be #,k,f-close or a simple Day 2 mutual agreement.

Goal for tonight: Push for the full close on my oneitis. I came to the realization last night that I feel more like shit when getting rejected having done barely any effort vs. getting rejected when I've done my best to make something happen.

FR coming up tomorrow.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

UPDATE

Previous date was cancelled, so I could never post an FR.

However, it was Halloween last night . . . I dressed up with my oneitis, Koistinen and SuperMario. We went to a party that was arranged in a local bar. The whole time I was very intimate with my oneitis, but decided not to kiss her too early. At one point when we were sitting by the couches, I put my hand high up her inner thigh as I was speaking to another person. This is when she leaned in and whispered 'I love the sexual tension that you and I have . . . '

I knew I had her at this point, and it was the best feeling in the world. We all went dancing, and this is where I decided the tension needs to be released. I went for the kiss and we were basically making out all night from then onwards.

The little ways I 'persisted' (in order to reach my goal) were things such as: Pulling her to sit next to me, pulling her onto my arms, kissing her lightly on the cheek throughout the night, pulling her to the dance floor - and finally, watching as a little AMOG started dancing with her and talking to her, at which point I moved in and physically picked her up and away from him and then started making out with her in front of him.

I think the ^above examples are fairly counting as 'being persistent', as this is my biggest weakness right now in the mid-late game.

I even persisted with going for the f-close, but there were certain logistical issues preventing the close to occur.

Tomorrow she is coming over and we'll have dinner at my house.

FR coming up (hopefully it actually will this time).

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

UPDATE

. . . Lol, NOT. She's sick.

And on Monday she's leaving the country and will be gone for a week and then she's leaving the country again a week later when she will be gone for over a month.

This is the week where I will focus on the following in the journal:

* Watch 1-2 movies per day
* Always have at least 1 film industry related book to read (including plays) + 1 alternate book. Currently I am reading 'How To Win Friends And Influence People' since so many, many people have recommended it to me.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

UPDATE

LR: Marriage Counseling lr-marriage-counseling-vt149896.html

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

UPDATE

Procrastination.

My oneitis has completely knocked me off balance and I have a hard time focusing on anything at all.

Have literally been doing nothing at all these last couple of days. No goals reached. No work done.

She's coming over tonight to (most probably I think) talk about some problems that we have and there is a high chance that I will stop seeing her. If this happens, I will recover for a couple of days and then get back on course!

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

UPDATE

Stopped procrastinating.

Been doing a lot of hard work today.

Been reading 40 pages of How to Win Friends and Influence People. This book hides a great deal of knowledge about the human psyche. I can't wait to continue reading.

I've come to the part where it is explained that the biggest craving of a human being is either mostly sex driven or driven by the craving of importance.

It is explained how people, including the famous and rich, do things for charity and do things for other people because that's what makes them feel important.

The only conclusion I can draw from this is . . . We are all extremely ego based. We don't ever do a good deed for another human being just for the sake of being good. But for ourselves. Because it makes us feel important.

It's a horrible way to see it, I know, but I can't seem to think of any positive view on this whatsoever.

^This makes me think of my current situation with my oneitis. I am considering cutting all contact with her and this decision will be made in the next 3 days. If I don't decide in these next 3 days, she will leave the country and I won't see her for 2 months. Which means I have to decide NOW . . .

If I leave her . . . I will have every reason to. I will evolve A LOT as a human being and I will reach a level of catharsis that I have never reached before in my life. I will feel important. To myself. I will value myself stronger. I will respect myself more.

It's probably not the same thing as mentioned in the book, but it's similar nevertheless.

It will be the biggest sacrifice I have ever made, but the outcome of it and the long term effect will be more than pleasing to my soul.

3 days. I'm seeing her tomorrow already, and I feel that I will already have made my decision by the next 24 hours.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

UPDATE

Lots of things have happened these past 2 weeks.

1. I did the ultimate sacrifice and left my oneitis. Had a drink with her and explained that I like her too much for my own good and that I want her to stop contacting me. She was completely destroyed and cried for a long time. Although she understood my situation, she refused to let go. She said she would keep contacting me because she knows in her heart that we can work it out. Which I of course disagree with and I told her that.

2. Got a FWB that has moved in with me and will live with me for approximately 1 month before she leaves the country for good. I haven't been posting anything in the journal due to constant sex and work. My oneitis is of course always on my mind, but the pain has reduced by a great deal!

Goals

~ Start going to the gym 3 times a week.

~ Apply the principles of How to Win Friends and Influence People to my everyday life. Been working great so far and I feel like a much happier person. I recommend this book to anyone in the community and I believe it can teach you much more about pick-up than any other book out there.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Since a lot of the goals I want to reach are already in progress, I thought it would be a good idea to use this journal as a form of a blog as well. The only purpose of the blog is to share my insights and experiences that one could take learning/inspiration from. Something in between an FR and a journal I suppose.

BLOG ENTRY #1

Couch surfing. . . This topic is being brought up more and more frequently on the forums, so I will share my most meaningful experience with couch surfing and what my thoughts on it is.

2 months ago I woke up and discovered I had 7 missed calls from a friend of mine, SuperMario. You might have seen me mentioning his name in almost every FR I've written.

I get on Facebook only to discover I got another message from Mario. A message which read 'Dude. . . There is a girl who wants to fuck you'. Not being able to take him seriously, I ask him 'What do you mean?' and he tells me he got a female friend from the Netherlands that wants to stay 1 or 2 nights in Sarajevo.

I noticed she had already added me on FB and thanked me for letting her spend the night at my house. . . Meaning that Mario had already accepted her, in my name. Whatever. I could use some company.

I check her profile and I see that she is 35 years old and married. I initially had no plans on seducing her at all, but I thought it would be fun getting to know someone new.

She arrived in Sarajevo and Mario helped me fix her bed and unpack her things. We sit down by the kitchen table and I ask them 'So how do you guys know each other?' . . . To which both of them reply 'We don't'. I look at them confusingly, and this is when Mario explains to me that this girl contacted him through Couch Surfing, asking for a place to stay and since Mario couldn't accept her at that point, he had pushed her in my direction.

A little strange, since he could have warned me about it, but whatever.

She stayed the first night and nothing happened. I genuinely got to know her and we had a beer out in town.

On the second day, I took her out for ice-cream. We had another nice chat, and I started talking sexually to her. We talked about sex all day up until the point we walked through my doorstep. No words needed, we immediately started making out and having sex.

She was supposed to leave the next day, but asked me if she could stay a whole week for us to continue 'having fun'. I agreed to it and we became FWBs/unofficial couple.

A week passes and she leaves the country to continue couch surfing in Turkey. . .

Fast forward until NOW. . .

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She contacted me on FB asking if she could come over to Bosnia again soon and I gladly accepted. So she did. She has now been living with me for 2 weeks.

However, when you are intimate with a person who lives with you and spends every moment with you - dangerous emotions can potentially arise. . . And in this case, they did. She fell in love with me and I will inevitably break her heart.

^I will stop the story there, as it is going deeper than needed for the topic of Couch Surfing. . .

So in my experience about CS combined with PU, there are a few noteworthy comments that can be made:

1. Don't immediately try sleeping with the girl the first night she arrives. She has entered a new country, she has met nothing but foreign people and she needs to feel safe and comfortable first and foremost. Unless, of course, she is only staying for that 1 night. Then by all means, try going for it.

2. Getting laid through CS is super easy. In general, some of the requirements for a woman to have a sloppy one night stand with you is to feel that there will be no strings attached and no way of her friends/social circle to find out she's sleeping around. This is why seducing a woman through CS could even be considered as EASIER than picking up a girl from a club, because:

~ The 'no strings attached' security is already provided. She's in a completely different country with no possible outside connection to her social circle and no possible way for her to get a bad reputation.

~ The logistics are handled. SHE LIVES IN YOUR HOUSE AND SLEEPS THERE. . . Need I say more?

3. With the above being said, you can simply make sure she feels safe by having genuine conversations with her in order to prove that you're not a blood-thirsty lunatic. . . And then you seduce her. That's it.

The woman can be anybody in the world, but ^those general principles will always apply. She can be married, she can be much older than you, she can be much hotter than you, much wealthier than you, it does NOT matter. The point isn't to get in a relationship with her. The point is to F her. So everything besides sexual chemistry is merely a distraction and completely irrelevant. Don't let it get to you. Focus on the end-goal and seduce the woman.

Unless of course you are literally just interested in hosting women for the sake of hosting.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

UPDATE

I am single again. My gf has left the country for good and we have mutually agreed that we will break up.

Oh well, here's what's currently going on in my life:

* Huge party in a 6-story building coming up this friday (open bar too).

Goals

* Start swimming 3 times a week. Already found a location.
* Stop being stuck with my 3 or 4 close friends.
-I'm starting to feel like I'm way too much in my comfort zone and think I should start connecting with other people asap. To begin with. . . I will socialize madly at the party on Friday.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

^Having gone through many of these (melo)drama events, I can confidently tell you that you'll probably go through many more of these events:

1. Each chick tends to secure a special place in your memory bank. Everybody is unique.
2. Ehmm... well that's about it. No big deal man. Yeah, I think of fun times and remember the shapes of their pussies but there's plenty more of all of that and you've got a life to live.

BLOG ENTRY #2: When your life takes a turn.

Having done many risky things in my life and some pretty stupid decisions, I have come to a point in life which is truly life changing and should, hopefully, be eye opening.

I had a woman who lived with me for about a month's time. Our sex life was very intimate and we trusted each other fully. The trust part was important because she had allergies and itches from using condoms, so we only practiced unsafe sex. However, there were other ways of preventing accidents to occur.

She left the country and in result, we broke up.

I got a message from her yesterday night demanding that I get on SPAM and talk to her about something important.

I call her and she is crying and shaking on the webcam. She barely gets the words out, but manages to tell me what she wanted to say: She is pregnant.

The world melted before my eyes and I could barely keep myself calm. She had apparently forgotten the pregnancy tests and other stuff in my bathroom and could never therefore check her status after the last time we had sex.

This was a big mistake and an even bigger accident in general. After doing some talking, she told me she plans on keeping the child but wants nothing in return from me; whether it be money, support of other sorts, or even being physically present when raising the child.

She wants to raise it herself in the country she lives in.

This is near to acceptable to me, considering that I am only 20 years old and she is 35 and more than capable of raising a child on her own. Especially with all the support she has from her family and friends - some of which have been single mom's and raised over four children all by themselves.

This is, therefore, how the current situation looks like:

- We will have a child.
- She will raise it by herself in a country far away from mine.
- She doesn't want to put pressure on me and requires no support at all from my side.
- It will basically be as if I don't even have a child, even if I do.

^Even though the situation seems more merciful than it COULD have been - I am only in the eye of the shitstorm and the situation will only grow more intense as we get closer to the baby's birth.

Now just imagine the phone calls and conversations I have to go through with my conservative family members.

The point of the story is whatever you make of it.

Pick-up is fun and motivational, but it can easily allow you to carry yourself away. In my situation, we had no choice but to have sex without a condom, but she had been doing all this time without any problems due to her other ways of preventing pregnancies and other issues.

However, you still never know. Accidents do occur.

But I'm not here to teach you a lesson on practicing safe sex. I'm merely writing this story in hope that it will inspire you and help you think twice before doubting whether you should wear a condom or not. Because before you know it, your whole life has changed at a very early age and there is nothing you can do about it.

Mind you that this woman talks her whole life about how she never, EVER, wants kids. . . Which, ashamed to admit, played a big role in my decision making on practicing unsafe sex because subconsciously I told myself that even if she got pregnant, she would without doubt get an abortion.

Again: You never know. It's not worth the risk just so you can get your dick for a night.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Thanks man.

Regarding the mother and me being amicable. . . It was true up until today. We were amicable because I had told her during our first talk that I will support her no matter what she chooses because it's her body and her life that she will mainly change.

However today we went into detail about the situation and she asked me about my opinion. I told her that if it was up to me, I would without doubt resort to abortion because this situation will completely mess up the bonds that I have with my family because they are very conservative.

She started accusing me of calling her a bad mother (?) and that she now will deny me the option to ever find out if I am the father or not.

^This is absolutely horrible to me and not acceptable at all. . . I told her I feel I have every right to know, but all in vain. She still doesn't want me to know due to my opinions about abortion.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

^ the above behavior is typical, you need to remain like a rock, and keep "selling" the reasoning of why is in "her best interest" to have the procedure ASAP, you can not be too nice in this situations, also offer to "pay for it"...The more time passes the worst.

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Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
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She is a hardcore vegan. . . Meaning she loves life. She already refuses to abort it out of the reason that it's 'alive'.

I was foolish to think that a vegan, who's heart gets broken when she sees somebody eat meat, would actually be convinced to 'kill a child', as she describes it.

I know for sure she will keep the child, there's no question about it.

However, there is a 50% chance that the child isn't mine because there was another man she slept with right before me.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

UPDATE

She told me she doesn't want to talk to me for 8 months because I pissed her off by expressing my opinion about the matter. I told her OK (because I frankly do not care at this point) and agreed we would speak when the baby is born.

However, she keeps writing to me on Facebook as if the agreement never occurred and tells me about her travels and where she's currently going to fly (traveling while pregnant?).

Anyway, no more interesting news about the whole baby-situation.

Right now I've just been focusing on work. Been reading lots of cinematography books, been preparing for my film-shoot the 17th and been watching lots of movies.

Had a decent New Years too. Didn't feel like doing PU (for obvious reasons), but I still partied with lots of girls and got hammered like crazy.

Oh and my oneitis tried tricking me into seeing her even though I told her 2 months ago to stop contacting me. She just wanted to wish me a happy New Year, but I still rejected it and took off to the party.

My New Year Resolutions

~ Eat healthy food
~ Start working out

^Those goals have been mentioned earlier, but I've been procrastinating like crazy since a lot of bs has been going on in my life lately, so I completely forgot about those goals.

However, now that I am back in emotional control and my life is awesome again, I will re-initiate my efforts into living a healthier lifestyle!

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html