hmm, might be worth your while to put a lot of focus in to something else right now if this girl is on your mind at all maybe even a freeze out (for you to de-tach from thinking of her)
if she's been flaking, and she's doing that, ha I want you but no... female player bs
just push her away (not harsh, just change your focus and let her invest), best way for you to project indifference is to focus on something else, and actually not really care if she ever sees you again or not (other girls, incoming contact only, focus on the gym, etc. etc.)
or you can always just try to artificially create this, but if you actually care it might be tough, since she will test it out by teasing you with fake offers for sex and shit, then retract them just to fuck with you, jumping on these only further gets you tooled, but you got the right idea for making it have to be on your terms,
the whole, non chalant I don't care thing goes pretty well, but it's fun when they are blowing you off, to start blowing them off, but offering a means for them to put in effort to make it work, that way you are not running around doing the bitch work, and girls that want attention and to waste your time without giving you the logistics can go waste someone else's time instead and you know it's just time to move on
so for example
step 1) drop texting, start not having time to do this, when she texts, call her, and speak voice to voice instead, that way she will find it more difficult to be witty and come up with way to tool you, and you can be quicker in real time to dis-qualify the problems she creates as well as read the context of what she is saying better
step 2) when she is tempting you like this, don't buy into her frame, question and challenge her offers, or counter offer her on your terms, if there is to be a situation or good logistics, it's up to her to invest in that, best you can do is frame it as something of benefit for both of you, or actually try to find out what she values to create a real benefit for her (if you even want to put in the effort for that)
so here is some overanalyzation on your conversation, some food for thought, things you might not have caught yourself
Quote:
Heres the text log from after that incident. I think she is trolling me/trying to play me and expecting a reaction.
Me: Fair play, sandwich is gone, enjoy the eggs.
Her: Whatcha doin tonight?
the start is the point where it is descided who has the purpose, and who is leading, she opens a thread on logistics, this is your time to screen her for logistics for example,
''why? are you lonely?'' lead the frame, find direction, bring value to her or cut the interaction
Me: Friend is cooking me dinner then work, u
since she is directing the pace, this whole conversation is on her terms, not a huge deal, but she is the person with the objective here, and when that is the case, it leaves you open to her, creating what she wants, instead of what you want who knows what her objective is, but once it is filled, you are no longer of use to her, that could be a good thing, or a bad thing
Her: work?!
take note how she did not, qualify for your request
Me: Yup altho u have making up to do.
you took the frame back here and took the lead, this sort of move threatens investment, so if you are having problems with her investment wise, it would be probably be better to bring as much value as you can, instead of trying to create a fear of loss
*in other words, make things more appealing for her, instead of trying to play the you're lucky to have me show me why game*
Her: How would you like it.
this is where she takes the frame back, and baits you into a qualifying for her
Me: Cumming as loud as I can make her.
you qualify but add the context that it is not her you are qualifying
Her: Her?! That better not be anyone except me.
she baits you again to qualify for her properly, she is leading
Me: Your the hottest girl I know. //Obviously this is sucking up but no where did I clarify that I'm not fucking other girls.
you qualify her as she wanted
Her: You can't know many then! I'm so horny. I havent had sex in 4 days. //Clarifying she's having sex with other guys.
she puts you down, and dhv's herself
Me: I would completely destroy you right now.
you react and qualify yourself this is bad behavior on her end
Her: Why can't it be earlier
//It was 12, both have uni at 9.
baiting you to qualify for her more
Me: I'm going to fuck you against my wall whilst you suck on my fingers and beg for more.
you qualify her
Her: come round now xxx //I get shes asked me to come round but no way am I complying after she flakes on me and says shes too tired to walk to mine.
shit test
Me: Come here, I Want you against MY wall.
this is ok here, less value in this for her though, when you have that feeling like she's just fucking with you, you can just challenge her by questioning the test, example:
''do you have food at your house to eat after?''
if she doesn't qualify, don't take the bait,
example
her:no, or heh I wasn't serious, blah blah blah
Her: I want to be in your shower.
this girl is leading and baiting like crazy, and you are following and taking the bait, she is once again, baiting you to qualify her
Me: I'l have you both ways, night.
qualify her
Her: This week! night.
she plans the date, and leads
Please just post your thoughts on this and if she is truly trying to "play me" even after I've had sex with her.
Anyway cheers for the posts. Personally I think this girl loves getting reactions from guys even if they're negative ones.
the thing is, she has fucked you already, and is attracted to you, so that part is done, but the other thing is, is she is leading, you are are validating her when she isn't investing, and qualifying yourself for her when she is showing bad behavior, she will probably still fuck you just for the fact that she is attracted, but you can start validating her less, and just bring value for her towards the idea of you getting compliance, then validate her after she invests, rather then just because she baits you into qualifying her or qualifying yourself
so, if you actually take your focus off this and become more indifferent, it is more likely for these things to naturally start to occur, like cutting down the phone validation, and letting some tension build so she misses the absense of validation, once she misses it, you create opportunities and lead her to good logistics and just have sex
CHAT
