| I got my ex back (sort of).
I though I'd post a followup of how it all went down, in case it helps anyone else.
I took the advice of everyone here. I ignored my ex's texts. "Do you want to watch Dexter tomorrow?; Can you help me fix my computer?; If you still care, I'm not seeing that guy anymore."
All she got from me was silence.
What is clear to me now, but wasn't at the time, is that all of the crap she was texting wasn't "I miss your dick," it was, "I miss your friendship."
This was a mistake I'd made earlier during our breakup. A women wants a "best guy friend" to make her feel secure after she goes out sleeping with other dudes so she can feel like she's not a slut (at least, that's my current theory). This guy is the AFC always getting friend-zoned (we've all been there at some point in our lives).
When I saw my ex at bowling later that week, I waited for her to bring up the conversation about her not seeing that guy.
We chit-chatted for 15 minutes, and sure enough, she brought it up.
"Did you get my text?"
"What text?" I lied, paused for a few seconds, and then opened my phone and scrolling to find her text. "Ohh yeah. That sucks, sorry to hear that."
I didn't ask what happened, or ask any followup questions, because doing so would have looked like she could still provoke an emotional response from me. Although I still cared about her, I was simultaneiously working on my own game, going out, and having fun. I hadn't gotten laid yet, but I accepted that my time belonged to me, and I wasn't going to let someone else's nonsense bring me down.
After bowling, we said our goodbyes and she told me that she missed me, that I needed to return her phone calls, blah blah blah. I didn't show any emotion, I just gave vague answers to anything she said.
"Why haven't you texted me back?"
"I've been busy."
"Can we hang out?"
"Maybe. Call me Thursday."
"Do you still want to be friends?"
"I guess, sure."
###############
The next week I went out to the bar with my buddy, Rodger, my friend Sue, and her friend, Jess. I'd met Jess once before, and she happened to be in town for the weekend. When we last met, I'd teased her a bit, and given her the nickname "Alaska" because of this winter jacket she was wearing that looked like she'd skinned a wolf. Nicknames work great, because it creates a unique connection with that person.
Sue, her friend, and I shot the shit for a while. I slowly started steering the conversation towards sex, and Jess told me how much I reminded her of her first fuck. I excused myself to go have a smoke with Rodger.
"I think I'm going to go for Jess."
"Yeah, she's pretty cute dude. And she's leaving tomorrow for Arizona!" (My friend has this theory that whenever a girl is leaving town, she lowers her standards and turns into mega-whore that will sleep with anything).
"She told me I reminded her of her first fuck."
"Dude, you're in."
In my mind, I already knew this (hell, I knew even before going out that I could probably get with Jess), but hearing my buddy say so helped solidify my self-confidence.
I ended up banging Jess for two hours that night at Sue's place. She left me the present of a large a hickey on my neck.
###############
The next week at bowling (I can't remember if my ex had texted me or not, I definitely would have ignored them though), I had the swagger of someone that had just gotten laid. After around 10 minutes, my ex noted the mark on my neck.
"Is that a hickey?"
"No..." I said in a sarcastic-serious tone and a sly smile on my face, slowly sliding my shirt up to hide it.
My ex gasped, but smiled and turned away. After a few second pause, she looked back at me:
"Is that from one girl or two?"
"I can't tell you that." (A better response would have been "ten" or "fifty", but whatever).
"But I want to knowwwwwww." (blah blah blah).
The trick here, I've found, is to never give women a direct response. I could have told her it was from one girl, and that would have lowered my value in her eyes (you've only slept with one girl?!?). I could have told her it was two, and I might be starting to look like a man-whore, or she may try to use it against me later. If I give her an answer like "ten", or "fifty", it's cocky and funny, but still registers into her subconscious, "Did he really bang fifty women?"
By not giving an answer, you force her to create her own image of you. If you're demonstrating high value, this image is going to be higher than her own self-image, which means she needs to work to win YOUR approval - just where you want her.
Later that night, she told me how "we've switched," opining that I was the one getting all the sex, and she was sexually frustrated. She also asked me, "Can we pleaseeeee hang out", and when I asked her when she was available, she responded with "Every day after three."
I laughed, because one of the things I'd learned over the past few weeks studying pickup was that you're always busy. She had become AFC. It was great. Hard work pays off.
And the rest kind of just fell into place. I continued to ignore her for a little while longer, but I'd occasionally answer her text. I'd always make her call me, and nevered planned anything in advance.
Her: "Can we hang out?"
Me: "I'm busy Monday and Tuesday, but call me Wendesday"
Her: "But why can't you make plans for Wednesday?"
Me: "I don't do plans anymore. I'm a fly-by-night guy now."
At some point, I just invited her over to my place and we banged. I made her cum twice. Then I told her I wasn't done with her. I made her cum three more times.
It was nice to have her back, but part of me felt as though she had been corrupted, and wasn't the innocent person I had remembered. I've fucked her again since that initial time, and it was better, but I'm in the place right now where I'm happy to continue working on my game, while keeping her as a fuckbuddy. If I ever decide to get back into a relationship, it'll be on my own terms.
Since this whole thing started, I've begun reading books on pickup, and am becoming more comfortable with myself. I've gotten a hell of a lot better at approaching and number closing. The most surprising thing to me is how many girls will give you their number (I think 90-95% of the girls I've asked have given me their number).
I've still got work to do, and I can't seem to get to setting up a date after the number close, but I'm confident it'll fall into place after I get a hang of it.
I just wanted to give a followup to how this turned out, and what I've learned so far. I know there is still so much to learn! Thanks for all the help!
|
CHAT
